Mesmerised
by XOurNewReligionX
Summary: Seven years has passed since Edward left, and Bella is struggling slowly on with her new husband Jacob and daughter Lyra. But what happens when vampires suddenly burst back into her life with a sudden attack from Victoira? How will Edward react?COMPLETE!
1. Life

_Bella's Point of View_

The fire crackled in the dark night, sending sparks of light up into the black sky. Heat surged off the flames, nearly, but not completely, shutting out the cold wind that was rushing off the sea. I shivered, and rubbed my hands up and down my goose bump covered arms. Almost as soon as I had moved, Jacob's arms were around me, his hot arms chasing away all thoughts of coldness. I leant into him gratefully.

"You okay?" He murmured into my ear.

I glanced up to smile at him. "Yeah- fine." I glanced across the fire, and grinned as I saw Embry and Leah having an animated conversation with Paul, who was getting more and more red faced by the second.

Jacob noticed the direction of my gaze. "Hey- cool it, Paul!" He laughed, raising his voice a little to project it across the circle. Even after all the time that had passed, Paul still had the shortest temper- something which Embry took great delight in testing at every given opportunity.

It was the ninth of July, and everybody was gathered on the sandy plains of First Beach in La Push. The ninth of July- a date which was inked onto my own heart. My first baby daughter's birthday. Thinking of her, I sat up and stretched my arms up above my head, craning my neck to look past where Leah and Seth were sat together, laughing at some joke that Charlie, my dad, and Billy had just told. Charlie roared with laughter, too, slapping his knee, seeming not aware that I was watching him. I dragged my eyes away from his happy face to look past him, at his granddaughter, who was playing happily on the sandy ground. Her face was glowing in the light off the fire, her bright silver eyes dancing with excitement. My beautiful little Lyra. It was her first birthday- her first ever party- and as she already seemed to be showing a liking for attention, I had decided that I wanted to throw her a party, whether she would remember it or not.

Jacob had agreed at once, always searching for a reason to show Lyra off to the pack. He had promptly called everyone up, and I had run down to see Charlie, who was only too pleased to be able to spoil his only granddaughter on her first birthday.

"Do you want to do Silver's cake?" Jacob asked, yawning, and cutting through my more pleasant thoughts. I frowned.

"Do you_ have_ to insist on calling her that?" I demanded irritably.

Ever since she had been born, Lyra had had the strangest coloured eyes. They were a bright, electric silver. From the first meeting, Jacob had smiled down at her, and pronounced her 'Silver'.

Silver! Of all the silliest names to call her, he chose _Silver! _To my disgust though, it had caught on with the rest of the pack, and last week, when I went down to see Charlie with Lyra, even _he_ had called her it!

"Sorry, sorry!" He had said hastily, after being at the receiving end of one of my scorching glares. "I just…oh come on, Bells- it suits her!"

And even though I would never in a million years admit to his face that Jacob had been right- it _did _suit her in an odd kind of way. She was absolutely gorgeous, with soft blonde hair that just reached her cheeks, and those huge eyes that were lined with long black eyelashes. She was different, and special- and she needed a name that reflected that.

I still fought against it though. I stood up, shrugging away from Jacob's arm, and stalked around the fire to snatch up Lyra.

"What's wrong with _her_?" I heard Jared ask behind me, and I heard Jacob chuckle.

"Silver still hasn't grown on her."

"Told you so."

I turned around to glower at the boys, and they both fell silent guiltily. Kim, Jared wife to be, laughed at their faces, and my own lips twitched, though I tried hard not to let Jacob see.

I wasn't fooling him.

He walked over to me, and put his arms around my waist, kissing first me on the cheek, then Lyra.

"I left her cake in the car- shall I run and fetch it?" He asked me.

"Sure. Thanks." I replied glumly, and watched as he turned and sprinted off into the darkness.

I turned my gaze back to look at Lyra. Her own eyes were fixed on the fire, which never failed to dazzle her. I remember the first time we had brought her to one of these fire side parties. She had been three months old, and I had held her wrapped in a blanket. Jacob had spent the entire evening with his arm around her and me, grinning so widely that it had made you smile just to look at him.

Lyra was so pretty, so flawless…there was only one person who I had ever known with such beauty. I shook my head, desperately trying to repel the images of his perfect face that flashed before my eyes.

_Edward Cullen. _Even after seven long years, it still hurt to even think his name.

"I'm back!" Jacob called cheerfully, appearing out of nowhere and dancing back to my side, brandishing a small pink cardboard box. "Did you miss me?"

I smiled. "Of course." I lied. How could I tell him that, in truth, I had been thinking about my vampire ex-boyfriend that had left me almost seven years previously? That in every silence, in every dream- I was thinking of him?

"I missed you, too." Jacob murmured softly, his eyes suddenly filled with a reverent love that I didn't deserve. At once, guilt ripped me apart form inside. What was I doing thinking about Edward when I had Jacob here with me? It felt almost as if I was cheating on Jacob by thinking of Edward so much, even though I was sure that that thinking of your ex's had never actually counted as cheating in anyone's books…Though I did a lot more than just think. I dreamt. I fantasized. I wished.

I shook my head, trying to chase away my muddled up thoughts. I had vowed on Jacob and mine's wedding day that I would never think of Edward again- but that hadn't lasted when, as I had stood saying my vows to Jacob, I had wondered what it would be like if it was Edward stood in Jacob's place, if it was cold lips that touched mine as the vicar pronounced us husband and wife instead of hot ones. My hest ached just thinking of it.

"Cake! Yey!" Little five year old Lily dashed to my side, her eyes alight with excitement. Lily looked so much like her mother, Emily, that it was startling. They were identical- apart from the long thick scars that felt their way across Emily's cheek, of course.

Jacob slid the cake out of the cardboard box, and stuck a huge number one candle into the centre, a broad smile on his face.

I shushed everyone loudly, and they all fell silent at once. I sat down on the log next to Charlie, and put Lyra on my lap as Jacob approached us slowly, carrying the cake aloft. I concentrated on his face, drinking in every detail that I already knew so well. I loved _him. _Jacob Black- my husband. I couldn't honestly believe that I was still in love with the boy who I had met at seventeen…

"…_Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you…" _I hadn't realised that everyone was singing until Charlie nudged me with his elbow. Blinking back my tears as I realised that I had missed singing my daughter happy birthday on her first one, I joined clumsily in on the last line, not even bothering to frown when everyone sang _Silver _instead of Lyra.

Then Jacob leant forward, and I raised Lyra up, propping her up on my knees.

"Blow out the candle, Lyra," I whispered in her ear. "Make a wish."

Lyra just grinned around at everyone watching her, so I ducked forward before anyone else could, and blew hard on the candle, bagging her wish.

I shut my eyes, wishing, wishing, wishing.

Charlie frowned at me when I opened them again. "You could have let Lily do that." He scolded.

"Sorry, Lily." I said, but she didn't answer, too interested in making sure that Jacob gave her the biggest piece of cake.

When Jacob had finished chopping it all up, he came over and sat down next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders. I leant forward and picked up some of the crumbs on his plate with my finger.

"Hey- no nicking my cake." He complained, but there was a teasing edge to his whisper. He glanced down at the sleeping Lyra in my arms.

"Wow- parties really bum Silver out, don't they?" He smiled, his grin broadening as he saw me frown.

I let it slide with a sigh, and nodded at his statement. "They sure do. Shall we take her home?"

Jacob nodded, swallowed his last mouthful of cake, and stood up, brushing his big hands on the knees of his jeans. "Do you want me to take her?" He asked, holding out his arms.

_No. _I thought, but I handed her to him anyway. He cradled her carefully, tenderly, his expression softening as he cooed down at her. He was an amazing father, an excellent one.

_I wonder what Edward would have been like as a… _No! I had to stop this! I felt tears prick at my eyes. _Why _couldn't I stop?

"Bella?" Jacob's voice cut through my thoughts once again, and I shook myself, forcing my gaze up to meet his worried eyes.

"I'm fine." I repeated the old lie. "Just…tired."

I said goodbye to the pack, hugging Emily. We had become firm friends in the past years. She was sweet and kind…she reminded me almost of a more mature Alice… _No! Stop this! Stop this now!_

"Bye dad." I yawned. Charlie leant past me to kiss the sleeping Lyra, then gave me a brief, strong hug.

"Come and see me soon?" He asked glumly. He missed me, I knew. Even after all this time. Even when he had Sue now. The two had got married shortly after Jacob and I. I hadn't wanted the whole marriage thing between us, but Jacob wanted it, and my new life aim had been never to hurt him again. I _would _stick to that.

"A couple of days." I promised truthfully.

Jacob held out his arm, and I snuggled up to him, glad for the warmth as, with a final wave and a chores of _happy birthday, _we turned and walked away.

Our house was a small one, right on the edge of the forest. We needed to be near the trees so that Jacob could reach a safe place to change quickly. The house was a bit too modern for my liking, with two bedrooms, a small sitting room and medium garden. The garden was the only bit of the house that I liked. I had never cared for gardening much before, but after Lyra was born, I wanted to give her somewhere to play, just like I had had in Phoenix.

I had carefully tended to the grass, and planted flowers all along the edge of the garden. At the end was a little apple tree with short curling branches. Jacob had already attached a little swing to it, and he insisted on forcing Lyra to sit in it every time she was in the garden, even though I thought we should wait until she was older for things like swings.

"You're quiet this evening." Jacob observed as he pulled out his key and let us in. The house was cold. We had left the heating off.

I shrugged, not bothering to elaborate on an answer. We wound our way up the thin staircase upstairs to the small bedroom that belonged to Lyra. Jacob lay her carefully down on her diaper changed, and I carefully pulled off her little blue dress, and slipped her into her comfortable little sleeping suit.

Jacob and I didn't speak the entire time. I kept my eyes on my daughter, forcing my mind to concentrate on her, and her only. Her face, her eyes, her little star fish hands. Her cute button nose. Her little pink lips.

I lifted her up again, and hugged her close for a moment pressing my lips into her hair. I would never be able to leave Jacob, because I would never be able to leave Lyra.

I couldn't hear Jacob behind me. I guessed that he had slipped back downstairs without my noticing. I didn't want to turn around and check, didn't want to spoil the moment…

_It had never been this awkward with Edward…_

I stifled a gasp as the thought came so sharp, and so true. So, _so_ burningly true. Everything that was missing with Jacob, Edward had given me. And everything that _wasn't _missing with Jacob, Edward had done so much better. He was the love of my life. My soul. My heart. The reason that I had carried on breathing, the reason I had come to school everyday, the reason that I had never been alone.

It had never been like that with Jacob. For him, he was ecstatic when I finally gave in three years after Edward departure. What had made me change my mind? Loneliness? I didn't think so. Charlie? Bugging me everyday to go see Jacob, so speak to Jacob. Maybe.

But I think that, in truth, it was the fact that I didn't want to let Jacob down again. He had done so much for me, been so much. He was my best friend in the whole entire world- and, in my guiltiness for hurting him so, I had finally given in.

And then I hadn't been able to stop it.

Every day that I had woken up during that first year and decided that today had to be the end, that today _had _to be the day I finally broke my best friend forever- something new would come along. He would want me to move in. He would want to marry him.

And then…I was pregnant. And then what could I do then? I loved my little bump too much already to every do something that would hurt it…but when Jacob found out, he was so over the moon, so wonderful during the pregnancy- could I really leave him alone?

I didn't realise I was crying until one of the tears dripped down onto my hand. I remembered the cool fingers that had used to chance away my tears, and they suddenly fell so much faster. I clutched Lyra to me, trying to fill in the empty, gaping hole that Edward had torn open when he had left.

Because there was one difference between my true love and Jacob.

Edward had left me.

Seven years ago, in the forest not ten meters away from my house.

"_Come for walk with me." _He had said in his icy newfound voice.

He had led and I had followed. Always the way it was with us. I remembered the way he had looked that day, so hard, so cold- and yet so stunningly beautiful that as I had looked at him as he had told me that he didn't want me, I had known that there was no way that a creature just so _perfect _was ever meant for me.

And I still knew it.

But that just made the pain hurt even more.

I let out a strangled sob that I had not been able to hold back anymore, and buried my face in Lyra's soft hair. She was the only thing holding me here now. The only thing keeping me sane.

"_Edward…_" I whispered, and his name burned in my mouth. I could barely remember the time when his name had brought me joy.

I don't know what made me turn around. The prickling in my neck telling me I was being watched? The slight cracking noise of a small piece of a heart being torn away from the rest?

I don't know what made me, but suddenly my head snapped up and I span around and there Jacob was stood in the doorway, his arms crossed across his chest, holding onto his elbows in a posture I knew only to well. I had used it so many times myself. It was the position somebody took when they were trying to keep themselves from falling to pieces.

I met Jacob's eyes, and they were agonised, bright and smouldering with hurt and pain…I couldn't stand it.

But I couldn't help it either.

There was less than a meters space between us, but it suddenly felt like miles. I wanted to cross the room. I wanted him to take me in his arms and be the fifteen year old boy again that I had met in Forks all that time ago. The boy that knew nothing about this kind of pain.

"J…Jacob…" I whispered.

"Yes, Bella?" He replied, his voice carefully controlled, his face slightly paler than usual, but otherwise composed into a poker face.

"I…I…." I stopped. What could I say? I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that everything would be okay in the morning- but we both knew that that was a lie.

The pain in Jacob's eyes showed that only too clearly.

And so the silence stretched on and on and on, silently creating a ridge between us, carefully turning my once whole heart into hard and ice cold stone.


	2. Ache

_Edward's Point of View_

_Time passes. Even when it slips by so slowly that you can count every second, every millisecond. Even when every moment, every minuet hurts- it passes. _

_Even for me. _

I have lived for almost one hundred and fifteen years as an immortal Vampire- and done many things that I have regretted, in my mortal life and immortal life- but I never did anything so terrible, so unforgivably stupid as to leave Bella.

I knew that from the second that I forced myself to turn away from her beautiful, heart broken face and walk away from her.

To walk away and to never return.

I couldn't look back- I _couldn't. _She had been- still was- the only thing in my life more important that what I wanted. For _me, _I wanted to stay near her, with her. _Had _to. She was everything to me. But for _her- _I wanted so much more. I wanted her to have a baby, a life. I wanted her to grow old with somebody that could grow _with_ her, but being stuck in the unmoving, un-growing stupid body of a seventeen year old teenage boy- how could I ever be enough? How could _that _ever be good enough for _Bella Swan_? Bella- the only person who had ever managed to touch my still, un-beating heart in eighty lonely years.

So with Bella in my every thought, every movement- I had managed to stay away for three years.

While I was away, every second, every millisecond dragged by, seeming to take hours as I willed it to pass. I was nothing without her. I wouldn't do anything. Couldn't be bothered to get up in the morning- because who would I be getting up for? Without Bella, there was no one that meant anything anymore.

I couldn't bear to be around my family. All in couples, all paired up- all _perfect _reminders of the love that I would still be sharing if I had stayed with Bella.

_Bella, Bella, Bella. _

I had tried to concentrate on other things. That was one of the things that I had told her as I had left her- that I had distractions. But that was just a lie. _Another_ lie. There was no distraction, no escape from the pain that came with loosing Bella.

So, after three years in agony- I decided to go back. I had wanted her to be happy- and if that was what I saw, then I would leave again.... Leave, and never come back.

So I had run all the way back to Forks. The first place I had unthinkingly checked for her was Charlie's house. I had run silently up the wall, pushed open the window and climbed inside- but of course it wasn't still her bedroom. She was twenty-five now. She would have moved out of her fathers house by long ago.

But the house was still full of her scent, strong and mouth wateringly delicious- proof that Bella still walked the roads of Forks.

I had followed her scent around. It was most strong down at the local recording radio station. I felt a swell of pride for my Bella as I realised that she must have got a good job on the radio.

That night, I had tuned into it and just sat and listened to her beautiful voice weaving patterns in the night air around me. Her voice was so soft, so wonderful that it ripped the hole in my chest that she had left wide open, a roaring hole.

_I needed to find her. _

I found her scent later, coming so strong that I knew that she had to be near it. The strong scent was coming off a cheap looking apartment block. My eyes flashed distastefully over it for a moment. It was cheap and ugly. Bella Swan should have been living in a Palace- it would have been no more than she deserved- instead of in a dump like this…

But then my eyes moved from the apartment to zero in on two figures stood at the bottom of the steps to the apartment.

The first was a girl- no, a women. A women of twenty- five with long brown hair and, though I couldn't see them from here, big chocolate brown eyes. I knew from the shiver that went through me, from the sudden yearning desire to run over there and wrap her in my arms and never let go, that it was Bella.

Bella. Bella Swan. My Bella.

No. _His _Bella.

For my eyes had finally torn their way away from Bella's face to look at the young man stood at the foot of the stairs. His face was dark. Short and scruffy. As I watched, he raised a hand and raked it through his face, as if he was self conscious of it.

I couldn't help but to hate him. I couldn't help but want to run over there was tear that stupid little _thing _apart piece by piece, limb by limb-

"Bye, Jake." Bella spoke suddenly, and I was snapped out of my furious state so fast it was disorientating. What was I doing? If he made Bella happy then-

My teeth snapped together as he reached forward and took Bella's hand, pulling her back down the steps.

_Couldn't he see she wanted to go inside? _I thought viciously, but it seemed not as he leant forward and touched his lips lightly to hers.

My fists clenched, and there was a roaring in my ears. Jealously raised it's ugly head inside my chest, and was battling to get out, so show itself.

"Bye Jake." Bella said again, but there was a smile on her lips now as she pulled away from him.

He grinned and let go of her hand. "Bye Bells. See you tomorrow?"

"Yep. What time will you pick me up?"

"Depends- do you want a lie in?"

"Yeah, alight then. Pick me up at twelve?" Bella said, already pulling out her house key. The conversation was so like one that we had had so many years ago that it tore the hole in my chest open again. The words were nearly exactly the same, so nearly identical- apart from one thing. When _I _had asked Bella whether she wanted a lie in, she had refused, when with this boy, she wanted one.

I frowned. Why? My advanced mind immediately thought of a hundred different reasons; _She had a busier life now, so therefore needed more of a lie in. She was going to have a late night tonight. She…she wasn't that keen to meet up with him?_

I shook my head sharply at the last option, but my eyes trailed back to her face, and I was once again struck by annoyance that hers was the one mind that I couldn't read.

_Jake, _as she had called him, turned and finally walked away. _Finally. _

But I didn't watch him leave. My eyes were on Bella. As soon as this Jake had turned away, her smile had disappeared, and the light had gone from her eyes.

She had stood in the dark for a moment, turning over her key in her hands, before glancing up again, seeming startled to find herself alone as she stuffed the key in the lock and let herself in.

Every cell in my body itched to follow her, to hug her, to hold her- but I curled my hands into fists and forced myself to just _think. _

I had promised myself that I would leave again if I found her happy- but was she _really _happy? At first glance, maybe- but I knew her face better than any other person in this world. I had spent so many hours examining her facial expressions that it wasn't even hard for me to detect that underlying sadness in her eyes.

Why was it there? Had somebody hurt her? If they had, whoever it was, wherever he was- I would track him down and kill him.

My teeth snapping together, I turned back to look up at her apartment windows. The curtains had been closed, the lights turned off.

Inside my head, I made a silent promise to her, whispering her name in the darkness. _Bella- I will not leave you until I know you are happy. I will never leave your side again. I love you. _

And then I turned and walked away.

And so became my nightly exercise. Every night, every single night, I would leave my warm, safe home, and run all the way down to Forks to find her.

I watched as she got engaged. I watched as she got married. I even waited while she gave birth, standing outside the hospital walls, my hands in fists as I waited to hear she was okay.

And then she had a baby. That was when I knew that I should have stopped, should have made myself walk away from the reason for my existence for the second time…but I couldn't. I loved her far too much to ever walk away again.

So I stayed.

I reached Forks on the ninth of July at ten o'clock exactly. I went straight to the little house that she shared with Jacob, just outside the boundaries of La Push.

I settled down in my usual spot and tried to get myself ready to have my heart ripped out. Maybe tonight would be the night that I would be able to leave her…

Maybe.

I stole silently up the side of her house, my need to see her growing stronger and stronger, until- there she was. She was holding her baby, Lyra, and holding her too tightly. I felt s shock run through me as I realised that she was crying. What was wrong with her? Could the same pain that had been twisting her apart seven years ago still be there?

"E…Edward…" She whispered, her voice choked up with emotion. I couldn't breathe. My hands froze on the window sill, my eyes wide and unblinking as my normally quick mind stumbled as it tried to recapture those last few moments.

_She had said my name! My _name! Surely that meant she was still thinking of me?

After another half second that seemed to take years to pass, I finally unstuck my hands, and got ready to climb in through the window. She had said my name, after all. And I loved her too much to let common sense take over again.

But then…

"Jacob!" She gasped.

She had spun around to face the door, her eyes wide, her eyelashes still wet with tears. I felt a flicker of irritation at the innocent human man stood in the doorway, his hands clenched into fists as he looked at his wife.

"Yes, Bella?" He said, his voice perfectly even.

My hands relaxed again, and I felt that horrible feeling of loss rush through me- I felt like a child that had just been given a packet of sweets only to have it snatched away again. Except Bella was so, so, _so _much better.

So much better that I had to do what was right by her. Emotion tore at my insides. I loved her so much. It tore me apart every time I left her. Whenever I wasn't near her, it was half of me was missing, like I had left the better part of me behind somewhere. I had lost me somewhere in the long eighty years I had been a vampire- and Bella had been the one to find me. She had picked up the pieces and slowly pieced me back together- she had made me whole again, and now I would do the same by her. If this human- this weak, vulnerable _human _really loved her, and she truly loved him- then I would not do anything to cease her happiness.

_But she had said my name!_

I watched as she stuttered incoherently to herself, and let myself wonder for a moment what she would have said if she had known that I, her teenage vampire lover, was stood feet away from her, and smiled at my imagined reaction.

Then my eyes wandered back to her beautiful, heart stopping face. Inside my head, I made a silent promise to my one true love.

_Bella. I promise to love you for forever and a day. I promise to always be waiting on the sidelines, ready to pick you up and piece you back together just like you did for me. _

_I'll always be waiting. _

"And, Bella," I whispered. "I love you."

And then I turned and ran away into the darkness, too late to see her turn in my direction, catching my voice as the wind drifted it towards her. Too late to see her run to the window and break down into tears again, too late to see Jacob watch her silently for a moment, then turn and stride away.

Too late.

Just a little too late.


	3. Broken Strings

_Jacob's Point of View_

Bella was crying again.

I left her alone in the bedroom, my arms shaking as I carefully placed her ready made tea outside her door. She would come out when she was ready. She would see the tea and know that I loved her.

I tore back down the stairs, rushed through the kitchen. I pulled open the front door, then pulled off my top and shoes before sprinting out into the dark, changing before I even reached the forest.

I couldn't bear feeling like this. All these ultra sharp human feelings rushing around me- hate, love, sadness, guilt…I hated feeling like this. I hated _her _for making me feel like this. As soon as the words crossed my mind, I hated myself for even thinking them. Of course I didn't hate her. She was my wife. I loved her. I loved her with the same burning fury that I had felt when I was fifteen. I had thought- hoped- that it would go away with time, especially when she had taken up with that Cullen boy, but it never had. Bella Swan had still been the girl in my every thought, my every action.

She still was.

_So why couldn't I get her to feel the same way about me? _

Because I knew that she didn't. And that was the thing that was really tearing me apart. The fact that I loved her with every cell in my body- and she still couldn't return it. Because she was still in love with the same teenage boy that had left her seven years ago.

I had met him a few times. I remember looking at the way she looking at him- like he was a God, and she a great believer, like a mother would look at her child that had been lost for ten years, like a starving man would look at a glass of ice cold water.

I remember being awed by the amount of pure _love _in her eyes. Back then- I was awed. Now, I was envious. It would be better if I had ever seen that look. Then, I could have convinced myself that Bella simply didn't do big shows of love- but I had _seen _her.

And that killed me.

I burst into the forest, my feet pounding against the soft forest floor. I could feel the wind against my fur, running through and around it like a huge torrent that was working with me instead of against me.

I wished Bella would be like that.

I wished my wife would start loving me.

I wished Edward Cullen never existed.

At least in my wolf form, my human feelings were lessened sometimes. It was easier to think about without ending up with such a pain in my chest that all I wanted to do was roll around on the floor screaming.

Sometimes, I thought that was the feel of my heart breaking.

_Lay off the deep stuff, will you, Jake?_

I jumped as the voice that was clearly Leah's, the only girl wolf in our pack, broke through my mind. Her tone was irritated. I frowned. I had though I was alone, and had been enjoying the silence.

_Oh, sorry- am I mucking up your 'silence' for you? _Leah sneered.

_Go to hell._

_Charming!_

There was a short pause while we both ran a little faster, half racing, but not really bothering to take it seriously.

Sick of my own thoughts, I tuned into Leah's. She was thinking about how she had seen Sam and Emily kissing earlier at Silver's party. In her mind, the image was filled with a feeling of longing and sadness and loss.

_Sorry you had to see that, Leah. _I thought, even managing to sound awkward in my thoughts.

There was a short pause, and a series of responses flashed through Leah's head- some less polite than others.

Finally, she settled on; _Thanks. Sorry about your wife and that Edward guy. _

I sighed. _Want to meet somewhere?_

_I've got nothing better to do, I suppose. _

_Thanks, Leah. Always busy making me feel wanted, aren't you? _I thought dryly, and Leah laughed.

_That's me! Where shall we meet?_

_Dunno. _

_Well where are you? _She was impatient now.

I glanced around me, realising I didn't know.

_Somewhere a bit near my house, I think. I've reached a clearing. You know it?_

_I think so. Thanks for the great directions, by the way. _

I heard the sarcasm in her mind, and laughed out loud. I was surprised. I hadn't spoken to Leah like this in years and it was odd. She was…nice.

_Gee, thanks. _Leah complained. I had forgotten she could see my thoughts, and quickly changed back into human form, pulling on a top and some shorts I had grabbed on the way out. 

I sat down on a rock, breathing quickly as all my pain came rushing back in a burst. _What was I going to do?_

A moment later, Leah came strolling into the clearing in her human form as well, wearing shorts and a slightly ripped t-shirt. She must have changed on the way over.

I suddenly realised how long it had been since I'd properly spoken to her, or looked at her. She'd grown, maybe a little bit, and her hair was longer. It suited her, just resting on her shoulders with a fringe flicking into her big brown eyes.

"Quit staring at me, Jake." Leah grumbled, coming and sitting beside me on the rock and breaking me out of my thoughts. "You're freaking me out."

"Sorry."

"You're tall." She added, in the same disgruntled tone.

"Sorry." I said again. I didn't know what else to say.

"So…" Leah said finally, turning to look at me, swinging her legs up onto the rock. "What's going on with Bella?"

I sighed and looked away. "Nothing." I replied truthfully. That was it. Nothing. There was no love, no hate. No arguments, no conversations. Just…nothing.

"Why don't you just leave her, Jake?" Leah asked bluntly.

"No!" I almost growled. "I love her!" I did- didn't I? I had spent so long wanting her, and now I finally had her…of course I loved her.

"You sure about that, Jake?" Leah quizzed, sounding a little bored. "'Cous it kind of seems as if you're still in love with the seventeen year old girl that you met eight years ago."

"I love _Bella._"

"Yeah, yeah- but this broken girl that you're married to _isn't _Bella." Leah shook her head, ignoring my furious glare. "Sure, she looks a hell of a lot like her- but Bella was funny. Bella was fresh. Bella was shy, and curious and clever. This girl, your wife, is…empty. I don't know what that Edward did to her- but it changed her. You still love the girl you first met all those years ago." Leah cocked her head on one side, her expression suddenly thoughtful. "Hey, do you think you ever actually loved her? I mean, it wasn't just that she was new in town, and older than you and exciting. Maybe it was just that she was from Phoenix, and that everybody wanted her. And, after so long convincing yourself that you _did _want her, when you finally got her- it was too late to see that you didn't actually love her at all. You just loved the _thought _of her."

"Of _course _I loved her!" I exploded, realising a second too late that I was using the past tense. Leah looked sadly at her, suddenly serious.

"Let go of the past, Jake." She whispered, her voice so quiet I could barely hear it over the thudding of my own heart, or the roaring in my ears.

"It's gone._ She's_ gone. You're just clinging onto the broken remnants."

I sprang to my feet. "Shut up." I said, my breathing quick.

"I'm just trying to help." Leah said, looking hurt.

"WELL THEN I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!" I roared, suddenly furious. I felt shudders begin to rip through me, and knew that I couldn't be near Leah as a human when I changed. Not when I was this angry.

Ripping off my top, I threw it to the ground, then sprinted back into the forest to change.

I had three blissful seconds of silence, before Leah joined me again. I had started to run as soon as I had changed, and was already several miles away.

_Jake? Jake! _

_Go away._

_Oh, stop being such a drama queen, will you?_

I growled and propelled myself further, my anger building by the second. _Quit telling me I don't love my wife, and maybe I will!_

_Stop running! I need to talk to you! _

I didn't reply.

_Jake…listen. Please. I'm sorry, okay?_

I skidded to a stop in my surprise. Had _Leah Clearwater_ just _apologised??_

_Get over it Jake! _She thought impatiently. _And I am sorry. You love Bella. I get that. I just…don't want to see you hurt. _

My footsteps slowed as my anger faded. _Um…that's alright Leah. Listen, I think I have to go home now…_

_Oh. _She actually sounded disappointed! I knew Leah would be listening to my thoughts, but she stayed silent. I tried listening into her mind. She was attempting to keep it carefully blank, but as I probed further, she gave in with a sigh.

Flashes of Sam and Emily flashed before my eyes. Them kissing, them hugging, them together…holding baby Lily for the first time.

Leah watched me flash through her memories in silence. When I reached the one with Lily, she sighed.

_That was when I first realised that he was never going to leave her. _

I sighed, too. _He imprinted on her, Leah. There was never a chance he would leave her. _

_I know, I know. _Lean thought hastily. _I just…I just hoped, you know? Even when Emily was pregnant, I kind of still wondered. I mean, didn't all men get that kind of panic sometimes? I was always waiting for it to happen with Sam, but he stood strong beside Emily the whole time. _She paused, and a rush of mixed up memories flashed through her, then my, mind. Images of her and Sam, and Sam and Emily all jumbled up together so I could barely tell them apart.

_Then, when I saw Sam holding Lily, with that proud look on his face that you always wear when you look at Silver, with his arm around Emily- I knew he was never going to leave her. _

I didn't know what to say, what to think. _You okay? _I finally thought, a little brusquely.

_Strangely- yes. _Leah thought, sounding surprised. _I always knew that sometime, someday, I would have to give up on him- and I always thought that it would really, really, really hurt. But it actually came with a sort of sense of…relief. It was like now that I had finally admitted this to myself, I could move onto other things…other people. _

_That's really good for you, Leah. _I though whole heartedly. I was really, really glad that she was happy- and for a moment, that surprised me. I had never really cared much for Leah. She had always been bitter and mean. Her life was a misery- so she was determined to inflict that on the rest of us, filling out minds with images of Sam. I had always felt bad for her, sure- but I had never really _cared _that much. She had always just been Leah- the annoying one of the pack, the one we all had to put up with.

But…she had changed. I hadn't noticed it until now, but now I had- it was so blaringly obvious. There had been no more daydreams about Sam, no more snide comments. Her thoughts had been nicer, if still as sharp. But that's just the way she was- she told things as it was. It was a nice difference from having to tiptoe about Bella all the time.

Thinking of Bella, I groaned, realising that it was time I went home.

_See you another time then? _Leah thought, and I remembered with a jolt what I had just been thinking about her, realising that she had been listening.

_Yep- I heard it all. _

_Leah, I-_

_Don't worry, I'm not mad. I know you all thought that about me. Sorry for making life hell for you._

I smiled, and skidded to a halt in the woods by my house, getting ready to change back to human form.

_Don't worry about it. _

_Thanks for putting up with me just now._

_Pleasure._

_Oooo! _Leah laughed. _Somebody's throwing compliments around today! Bella is one lucky girl! _

I laughed, feeling too happy to be embarrassed.

_Shove off. _I thought, then changed back before she could retort. I pulled on shorts and a shirt, then walked out the forest, a wide smile still on my face.

I actually _liked _hanging out with Leah. She was funny and interesting, and she might actually be the one person in the pack who had even the tiniest insight into the kind of pain that I was going through with Bella.

I pushed open the front door and stepped into the kitchen, grabbing a hunk of bread of the side and biting into it, swallowing the whole thing in two bites.

Who ever said wolves didn't have big appetites?

"Jake?" Bella called, appearing in the doorway. My smile faded away, my happiness suddenly only a distant memory.

Her expression was so sad, her eyelashes still wet with tears. We stood in an awkward silence for a moment, then Bella said quietly, "I put Lyra to bed."

Silver. That was all we talked about now. She was the only thing we had left.

"I'll go and say goodnight to her." I said in the same monotone.

Bella didn't bother replying. I hesitated for a moment, then moved towards the door. As I went past her, my bare arm brushed hers, and she flinched away from my hot skin.

I closed my eyes for a moment as the black cloud of depression that had momentarily lifted while I was with Leah, settled back over me.

And this time- it looked as if it was here to stay.


	4. Leah's Darkness

_Phoebe and Sadie, i update this purely for you. Now you can stop bugging me about it!! :) _

_Leah's Point of View _

Jake had gone home. There was nobody left.

I had been running around the forest on my own for over an hour now, and my eyes were starting to ache with tiredness, but I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to go to sleep, and have to dream.

My heart beat quickened as I thought of those mixed up dreams in which Sam's face popped up everywhere. I pushed myself harder, forcing my legs to move faster, slamming into the ground as I wound my way through the dense forest.

_Leah- mum says you have to go home and get some sleep._

I jumped as my little brothers voice wound its way into my head. Seth.

_Go away. _I all but hissed. I wasn't in the mood for an argument. Hanging out with Jacob had put me in a good mood, and I wanted to cling onto that feeling.

_You hung out with Jake? _Seth's tone was surprised.

I frowned, not bothering to reply. I sighed, and slowed my footsteps, turning regretfully back around. I knew that Seth, under mum's instructions, wouldn't leave until I got to sleep.

_That's me! _Seth thought, cheerful as always. _But seriously- Jacob? I thought he only hung out with Bella now._

_Well, maybe it would do him some good to get away from her. _

Seth's mind was blank. _Why?_

I sighed in irritation. _Maybe because she is _so _obviously in love with this Edward guy that it's actually pathetic, and that even Jacob can see it and it's now tearing him apart? _

There was a long pause, and I listened to Seth think that over- then something occurred to him. Something that made my face flush bright red, and a hiss to explode out my mouth.

_Oh God Leah- you're not in love with Jacob as well, are you?_

_NO!! _I screamed. I was near enough to see him now, stood, not concentrating, at the edge of the forest. I threw myself at him, my sharp, angry teeth snapping inches away from his face.

_Okay, okay! _Seth gave in, swearing as he shoved me off him, slamming me up against a tree. _Okay- I get it! You don't love him!_

_No- idiot! Try getting that into your thick brain already!_

_Okay, okay! _

Both breathing heavily, we glared at each other for a moment longer, then Seth slowly moved away from me. I was still growling, almost spitting in my anger.

Seth changed back into a human, his hands rubbing at the red marks around his neck. I hesitated, considering attacking him while he was weak and distracted, but then I sighed and changed as well.

"Sheesh, Leah!" Seth complained. "Just because I can heal fast doesn't mean it doesn't hurt!"

"Then stop being an idiot!" I shot back.

Seth glowering at me, not answering. I turned on my heel and started to stomp off towards mum's house, the closest one to us.

I was three meters away before he dared to mutter, "Calm down, Jacob- lover."

I turned- and leapt at him. He ducked around me, and my flailing arms met thin air. I growled, and span around.

Seth was stood behind me, grinning away.

"Catch me if you can, Leah!" He sang, then dashed off into the darkness. I felt shivers run through me, but I pushed them back, forcing myself to stay calm.

"Run while you still can, freak!" I screamed into the darkness. "Because when _I'm _done with you, you'll be running with three legs!"

I was met with only a laugh. I followed the sound of his footsteps as he tore around the edge of the forest, heading towards the lake near to where mum and Charlie were living.

"Get _back _here, you piece of scum!" I hissed. I raced along the silent street, trying to keep my voice down, but my anger rode through.

Seth had reached the house, and was fumbling with his keys when I caught up with him, elbowing him in the ribs as we spilled through the door into the dark hallway.

"Come here you idiot!" I yelled.

"Leah- shut _up_!" Seth hissed. "Or else you'll wake mum and Charlie!"

"Bit too late for that, I think."

Mum's voice floated out of the darkness, half amused, half irritated.

"Now you've done it." Seth sighed as he padded through to the kitchen, flicking on lights as he went.

I dashed after him and clipped him around the head with the palm of my hand. He pulled away from me, frowning, and patted his hair back into place.

"Shove off, Leah." He muttered his mouth full of a bite of apple.

I grinned. "Why? Don't you want _Callie _seeing you like that?"

Callie was the girl that Seth had imprinted on just under a month ago. The first time he'd asked her out, she'd said no. She'd changed her mind later, of course, but I still took great delight on bringing up his original failure in every opportunity I got.

Seth's face turned a little pink and he turned his back, ignoring me.

I danced around him. "Ahhh- is the little didums still upset because the nasty Callie wouldn't go out with him?"

"She is _now_!" Seth said hotly, tearing into his apple again.

"Then why d'you care about your hair? Unless you're scared she might change her mind again!" I said gleefully.

"Shut up."

"Because Callie's always doing that, isn't she? Swapping and changing. Doing this one second, another a moment later. Bit annoying isn't it?"

"You shut up about her!" Seth hissed, his hands balled into fists.

Mum had followed after us into the kitchen. I could see that Seth was getting worked up, and I knew it wasn't fair, or right, to go on at him like this, or insult Callie. She was actually a really sweet, nice girl- perfect for Seth, but I was jumpy and still angry with him, so I kept on probing.

"I'm right though, aren't I? Dance lessons first, then yoga. She likes a mix, doesn't she? How about Seth this week, Tom the next or…"

I didn't get any further. Seth pounced on me, his hand punching every inch of me he could reach.

"Oh for God's sake!" Mum sighed, reaching forward and dragging Seth off me. His face was red and he was panting. One of my long nails had scratched his face. I watched as it slowly faded into nothing but a red mark.

"Leah- apologise to Seth." Mum ordered.

I gaped at her. "What? No! You didn't hear what he was saying on the way over…"

"I think the whole street heard." Mum said grimly. "Just do it, Leah."

I crossed my arms, my eyes flickering between Seth and mum. I was expecting Seth to look smug and gleeful, just like he had always used to look like when we were kids and I got the blame, but his face was still red, his eyes worried. I realised with a jolt that he had thought I was being serious.

"Sorry, Seth. I was just…joking." I muttered.

Seth regarded me for a moment, then yanked his arm free from mum and stalked past me. A moment later, I heard the front door slam.

I sighed, and sank into a chair, suddenly feeling tired. "Sorry about waking you, mum." I mumbled.

She came over to my side and stroked my hair back from my face.

"How are you doing?" She asked softly.

She was talking about Sam. She thought I'd never get over it. I let myself wonder, for a moment, if I ever _really _would.

I shrugged, unwilling to have this conversation. "Okay, I guess."

Mum carried on stroking my hair, waiting.

"I saw Jake yesterday." I offered as a deterrent.

"Oh really?" Mum smiled, cheered. "Charlie always speaks very highly of him."

I smiled too, before replying. "Yeah. Yeah- he should. He's a good guy."

I heaved a sigh again, then stood up, stretching.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Mum asked, her sharp eyes flashing over my tired posture and the dark half circles under my eyes.

I considered going home to a small, dark, empty house- and shuddered. "Yeah. Thanks mum."

I bent my head forwards so that she could peck me on the cheek, then walked past her, up the dark stairs into the guest bedroom. I didn't bother turning on the light. Enough moonlight was coming in through the open window to allow me to see as I quickly changed, then pulled the blinds shut over the empty street.

I turned back towards the bed, taking a deep breath. _Maybe the dreams wouldn't so bad tonight. Maybe because I was in a different bed, a different house…_

I shook my head. Of course they would be just as bad tonight. Just as bad as every other night in this hell ridden life.

I slipped between the cold blankets, shivering. I pulled my legs up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them, squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for sleep to come and find me.

A long time later, it finally did.

And for the first time in over five years- I didn't dream of Sam Uley.

I dreamt of Jacob Black.


	5. Kiss

_This chapter is for Phoebe because she gave me her chair in German and is my number one Twilight chum!!! Hee hee ily Pheebs xx_

_Jacob's Point of View_

Bella was silent again.

She was always like this of a morning- not responding to anyone or anything apart from Silver.

She was just sat on the sofa with her dressing gown hanging loosely around her, her hands curled around the tea clasped in her lap. She hadn't taken a single sip of it.

Suddenly sick of everything, I grabbed my coat and keys off the counter. "I'm going out, okay?"

Bella looked up. "Hu?" She mumbled, not understanding simple English. I felt a flicker of irritation towards my wife. Lately, she had not even been bothering to _pretend _to have any interest in me.

"I'm going out." I repeated, already turning away.

Bella frowned, her face screwing up. "But it's only like…half past eight."

I jiggled my keys in my hand. "I know. But maybe some of the pack will be out…I need a run."

Bella blinked. "Oh. Right."

No goodbye. No 'see you later'. With a suddenly heavy heart, I took one step towards the door when Bella called my name.

"Jake?" She almost whispered. I span around, too keen. Her sharp eyes didn't miss this, and her face fell. She seemed to struggle with herself for a moment, her mouth wanting to say one thing, her heart another.

If it had been eight years ago, when we were just friends, she would never have struggled this much over saying something to me. If she ever had, I would have laughed, and probably said something like, "_Just spit it out, Bells- what's the worst it can do?"_

And then her face would have split into that old smile that I missed so much.

But that was when I was fifteen. When I didn't know the terrible things words _could _do. I guess now I was scared that if I really _did _ask her to just spit it out- that she'd say something that would finally end the lie that we had been carrying on for seven years.

Finally, Bella's eyes met mine- and she sighed.

"Take Lyra, will you?" She murmured, looking back down at her lap.

I froze for a moment, wondering whether to _force_ her to say what she was thinking- but then I sighed and crossed the room in three strides, snatching up Silver from the floor where she was playing, oblivious to the lie that was slowly unravelling around her.

"Love you, Lyra." Bella muttered to her daughter as I marched past, catching onto one of Silver's tiny hands. Bella hesitated, then looked up at me. "See you Jake." She said.

And that's when I knew.

I didn't answer my wife, just held my daughter even closer to me, and strode out the too- small house.

Bella's words were going around and around in my head. _Love you Lyra. See you Jake. Love you Lyra. See you Jake… _over and over again until I had to finally put Silver down on the grass and slam the palms of my hands over my ears in a fruitless attempt to shut out my own thoughts.

That was it. That was the first moment when I finally admitted to myself that my marriage was over. It was ended. We were just two people who used to be friends, living under the same roof, pretending to be married for the sake of their young daughter.

Bella didn't love me anymore- and if I was brutally honest to myself- Leah was right. I didn't love her either. I loved the bright, sunny, girl that I had used to make mud pies with. I loved the girl who I had given my dad's old truck to. I loved the girl who I had used to walk along the beach with, who wasn't in love with a boy called Edward Cullen.

I loved the _old _Bella. The Bella who had joked with me, who had rode motorbikes with me. I loved _her. _But over the years, she had changed- for the worse. And it was time to finally admit to myself, seven years too late- that I was never going to be able to change her back.

"Dad-dad!" Silver gurgled, her star fish hands gathering up soft mud, then letting it trickle back through her fingers.

My eyes filled with tears as I looked back at her. She was the only thing holding Bella and I together now. A single, one year old baby with silver eyes was the reason for out whole lives, our whole existence.

Without Silver- we were nothing. But, I thought, as I looked at her laughing to herself, was an entire marriage too much to balance on just a baby's head?

And the answer, of course, was yes.

We both had a fear of flying alone. We wanted to _be _together- but not like this. Never like this. I wanted a wife who loved me for who I was now, not for who she wished I was, and I wanted a wife that _I _could love for ever and always.

And that just wasn't Bella.

For a moment, I wondered which of us would end it. Which of us would finally say the words that we were both thinking, and set us both free. Bella had nearly said it this morning. That knowledge sent me reeling- how long had she been ready to leave me for? Weeks? Months? Maybe even years.

I could imagine the conversation now.

"_Sit down, Jake- I need to speak to you." She'd say, and she'd have a new glow back in her face, a sense of decision. _

_Clutching at straws, I would say, "Can't we do this later?" Please, please let us put it off for just one more hour, just one more minuet._

"_No." She would reply firmly. "I _really _need to speak to you right now. Sit down."_

I didn't want to imagine anymore. I stood up, suddenly, shaking my head in a desperate attempt to shake away the images.

Maybe Bella and I would still be able to able to be friends? Maybe we could still hang out like we used to…

"Jacob?"

I glanced up at the sound of my name. Leah was stood about a meter away from me. She smiled when I looked up, and her grin seemed to warm my frozen heart for a moment.

"You alright?" She asked breezily, coming and sitting down next to me.

I thought about it for a moment. _Was _I alright? It wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be- that much I could admit. There was a sort of sense of…relief whenever I thought about it. But I was still sad. It was the end of my marriage- the end of a wasted seven years of my life of _being _with Bella. She had been there always ever since I was fifteen- and it would be tough not having her around anymore. My throat constricted at the thought.

"Jake?" Leah said, nudging me and waving a hand in front of my face.

I looked up, realising I had not answered her question. "Me and Bella are breaking up." I blurted it out without planning it before hand, without thinking through her reaction, without asking myself why I was telling _Leah _of all people.

For a moment, Leah didn't move an inch, then, without saying a word, she wound her arm around my shoulders, comforting me.

I don't know how long we sat like that, with her hand around me, her head on my shoulder, before she whispered, "What about Silver?"

I shrugged, my eyes wandering to my young daughter, my voice bleak. "She'll just grow up like every other child with split parents." My voice broke on the word _split, _and Leah made a sympathetic noise.

"I'm so, so sorry, Jake." She muttered, but I just shook my head jerkily. I hadn't told her because I was seeking attention.

"When did it happen?"

"Not yet." I mumbled. "But it's coming. She…she was going to do it before I came out…but she lost courage." I shrugged, with a small smile. "She'll be waiting for me when I get home."

"Oh, Jake." Leah sighed, her hand rubbing up and down my arm. I didn't want her pity. I reached out, only to move her hand away, but as soon as I touched her, her fingers curled their way through mine.

I could have pulled away. I _should _have pulled away, but instead I looked slowly up at Leah, my heart thudding.

For one long moment, we just looked at each other- then we both leant forward at the same time.

As I moved, a thousand million thoughts were running through my head all at the same time, all screaming for attention.

_Stop this! You're married!_

_No, it's over. We're over. _

_Not yet you're not! You haven't actually broken up!_

_Stop this NOW!_

Blood was roaring in my ears- and I couldn't stop. Not because I was afraid to hurt her feelings, or because I had gone too far already- but because I didn't want to.

Her lips touched mine, and it was so different to kissing Bella that I pulled Leah closer without a second thought.

When I kissed Bella, she was hesitant and uncaring- but this was different. As soon as our lips touched, my mind went oddly blank and all I wanted to do was to pull her closer and just kiss her, and never stop.

When Leah finally pulled away for air, my eyes were closed. I didn't want to open them. I waited as all the guilt and horror at what I had done came rushing back to me, attacking me with a vengeance.

This was terrible. _I _was terrible. I was such a horrible, awful _terrible _person that it was good that Bella was breaking up with me, because nobody as good as her could ever be meant for me.

With a deep, self suffering sigh- I opened my eyes…and froze. Everything inside me just froze and broke down as I stared at the women in front of me. Every thought in my mind was gone, every other dedication that I had- Bella, my mum, Charlie, my pack, my friends- all just floated away. They didn't matter, it didn't matter- the only thing that could matter one bit was this person in front of me.

How had I never seen her like this before? I had looked at Leah many, many times over the years- but never like this. How had I never noticed before that her eyes were not only brown? They were all kinds of shades- soft chocolate in the centre, then getting darker as they spiralled out, each line a tiny pattern in itself. How had I never before noticed that her nose was a single straight line- the perfect, movie star nose? How had I never really seen before that light dusting of freckles that traced their way over her nose? How her top lip was slightly fuller than her bottom?

_How had I never seen her like this?_

Leah was staring at me with the same kind of awe in her eyes as we both raised our hands at the same time and locked them together, out fingers entwining perfectly, as if they were always meant to be like that.

It was fate. It was destiny. We were meant to be together. Forever.

_But how? _The small, insignificant voice broke through my happiness, the only thing that could right now because, when I finally fought through the haze in my mind to think about it, I frowned. How had this happened?

It was clear from the first moment when I had opened my eyes that I had imprinted, but on _Leah? _I had seen her a thousand times already as a wolf.

How the hell had this _happened?_


	6. Cross Roads

_Ok here's a new chapter. Please, please review! It really helps me, honestly. XX Thanks for all the nice commets as well!! _

_Chapter Six- Cross Roads_

_Leah's Point of View_

"Leah?" Jacob murmured hoarsely, but I could barely hear him through the blood rushing through my ears. Something was happening, something was…_changing._ My senses suddenly felt dulled, muted, and my bones felt more breakable, almost _weak._

I had not felt like this since I was fifteen, when I had first turned into a wolf.

It took my mind a moment to catch up with my body, and when it finally did- I gasped out loud, and Jacob's words finally started to break through the haze in my mind.

"Leah!" Jacob repeated. "Try changing! Try to change into a wolf."

Nodding, I stood up and stretched out, as I normally did before I changed, my eyes closed, waiting for the shudders to run through my body.

The shudders that I knew I would never feel again.

I opened my eyes slowly. Jacob had moved silently until he was stood right in front of me, his dark eyes wide. For a moment, half my mind wandered off into a different trail as I noticed things about him that I never had before, and it was all I could do to just sit and stare at him, but then he squeezed my hand gently, reminding me.

"I can't." I mumbled.

"What?"

"I can't!" My tone suddenly turned from a moan to pure delight. "I can't change, Jake! I'm…I'm human again!"

Jacob stared at me for a moment, and I could almost see the tick of his mind. "That…that must be why I could imprint on you." He muttered, almost to himself. "When a boy werewolf imprints, they start to grow old again, but when a _girl _werewolf falls in love…they turn back into a human." He looked up at me, his eyes wide.

"I'm…I'm human?" I whispered, my eyes wide. I _felt _human. Sort of weak, and new, and free…and oh so _wonderful! _

I threw myself at Jacob, locking my around his neck, my heart expanding with joy as I stared with wonder at the man in front of me.

I leant forward to kiss Jacob, and he responded at once, pulling me closer to him.

And the only thing, the only thought that was going through my head was; _So this is what love is. _Because this was real, true love. Love like I had never felt it before. A burn that was lighting me up from inside. Sure, I had had crushes before, and _called _it love…and then there had been Sam- but now, as I stood kissing Jacob, I saw how utterly _absurd _I was to have ever looked at what Sam and I had and called it love.

I finally, _finally _understood what Sam had meant when he had tried to tell me how he felt about Emily. Because _that _had not been love. Not compared to this. It was like every cell in my body had been lit up and was programmed to respond to Jacob's every touch, his every word.

I love him with a desperate desire, something that I knew that neither time or age would ever be able to break or even fade.

It was Jacob and I forever. It _had _to be. Without him, there was nothing. No point to life, or living or even _being. _No reason to getting up in the morning, or going to sleep at night. Without him, I didn't _want _to live.

And I didn't care that I had known him since I was tiny, and that he had seen me going through all the awkward bits of growing up in my life. I didn't care that he was married. I didn't even care that he had a one year old daughter that was playing peacefully less than a meter away from us. I didn't care that he was sarcastic and annoying and grumpy and stubborn- because I loved him for it. He was Jacob, and he was mine.

As soon as he let me come up from air, I rested my forehead against his, my eyes shutting for a moment.

"I love you." I whispered, my voice low, my heart beat frantic.

"I love you, too." Jacob replied simply, then a sudden burn came into his eyes. "Like you can't even imagine."

Jacob kissed me again then, and it was like everything that was wrong in my life had turned right. He had fixed it, and everything was perfect.

Well. Apart from one thing. One small, insignificant thing.

My true love's wife.

Bella.

_Jacob's Point of View _

My heart was hammering and my hand was sweaty in Leah's. She seemed to sense my discomfort, and squeezed my hand.

With my other arm, I had Silver cradled to my chest, her tiny arms locked around my neck as she muttered muddled up words to herself, completely oblivious to the tense mood around her.

We reached the edge of the forest, and I paused, pulling Leah to a stop beside me as we both stared ahead at my house looming in front of us.

I swallowed hard. I didn't want to go and face _her. _Face Bella.

"Jake." Leah said quietly. I glanced down at her, but her own eyes were fixed on the forest floor.

"Leah?" I said, putting a finger under her chin and trying to coax her face back up.

"Listen, Jake," Leah said, talking too fast. "I…I don't want you to do anything you don't want to. I don't want to be the reason for… I just want you to be happy."

I frowned, shifted Silver over in my arms, then crushed Leah softly to my chest. My thumb stroked her hair out of her face. "All _I _want to do is to be with you." I whispered into her ear, then glanced up at the house, my heart hammering. "It's just…an awkward situation, that's all."

Leah sighed. "See you later?"

I tightened my hold on her as I bit down on my lip. I didn't _want _her to leave, but what else could I do? I had to explain to Bella, and I didn't think that having Leah present would exactly help my case.

But I didn't have to say any of this to her. She understood as she read the torn expression on my face. She smiled, reached up to kiss me on the cheek, then turned to walk away. I grabbed her hand.

"Hurry back?"

Leah's smile widened. "Always." She promised, then disappeared into the forest.

"Mama!" Silver demanded, straining away from me and stretching out one hand towards the house.

I took half a step back, and rubbed a hand across my face, trying desperately to plan a speech for Bella- but my mind was blank.

"Ma_ma_!" Silver insisted.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered, took a deep breath- then started to walk towards the house.

Why hadn't I waited until _after _breaking up with Bella to kiss Leah? I felt suddenly dirty; unworthy. I was a cheater.

I shook my head hard, hesitated for a split second outside the house- then pulled down on the handle and shoved the door open with my elbow.

"B…Bella?" I called, my voice trembling a little as I set Silver down on the cool floor of the kitchen.

Bella appeared out of nowhere. Her eyes went straight to Silver, and they seemed to light up as she leant down to scoop up her daughter, kissing her forehead.

Then she glanced up, looking past me, out the open front door. Her eyebrows suddenly shot together in a frown as her mouth dropped open and her eyes went wide.

"What?" I demanded, spinning around- but the garden was empty, the forest silent and still. I thought of Leah, beautiful, wonderful Leah, waiting in there, and felt the sudden mad urge to just run straight out the kitchen and back to her side. Where I belonged.

Clenching my fists in agony as I resisted, I turned abruptly back to face Bella.

"What was it?" I repeated.

"Nothing." Bella replied, too quickly. "I just thought I saw Ed…" She stopped, biting back the name she had not uttered in so many years. "It's nothing." She repeated. "I guess I'm just a bit tired." She gave a shaky kind of laugh, and ducked her head to kiss Silver's cheek again.

"You sure?" I asked with real concern, but also kind of stalling. "You look pale. Do you want a tea? Water? I can make cof…"

"No." Bella interrupted me. "Just- no, Jake. Okay?"

I pressed my lips together. There was a long silence, and as I looked at Bella's empty eyes, I knew this marriage had ended long before Bella had decided so, or before I had kissed Leah.

In fact, it had never even begun.

And now, finally, seven years too late- it was time to end the lie that was slowly but surely destroying us.

When I finally spoke, my voice was clam and even, my head raising so that I could meet my wife's lost, empty eyes.

"Bella- I need to tell you something."


	7. An End and Victoria's Revenge

_This one was originally two chapters which is why is switches at a bit of a weird point, but i thought the first bit was too short to be a proper chapter. Review pleasseee!! xx_

_Bella's Point of View_

Jacob's tone made me look up. His tongue kept flickering over his lips, something he only did when he was nervous, and his hand was raking through his shot hair, even though his voice was even.

I met his eyes, and was surprised. There was something there, hiding behind the nervousness. Something alive and thriving. Something called love.

I only recognised it because that was the look that Edward had used to get in his eyes when he had looked at me. That dancing, bright kind of love.

And then I knew what was coming before Jacob even opened his mouth.

"Bella. I'm in love with somebody else."

Silence stretched after his words. I waited for the hurt, the anger, the confusion that I knew I should have been feeling after just finding out that my husband was cheating on me- but all I could feel was a sudden sense of rushing _relief._

Relief that this, here now- was a clear end. Relief that finally somebody else could give my best friend the love he so deserved. Relief the lie was over. Relief for me- that I was finally, _finally _free.

"How long?" I asked quietly, my voice as even as his, though inside me a battle was raging as I tried to sort out my feelings.

Jacob looked anguished. "Only just now, Bella. I…I kissed Leah. And then im…imprinted."

"Leah?" I picked out the name with surprise. Jacob's eyes seemed to go soft at the mere _sound _of her name. Just like Edward's had used to…

Then my brain started to mull through the rest of the sentence. "Wait- _imprinted_?" I gasped.

Jacob sighed and raked a hand through his hair again, making is stand on end. "Yeah. When I kissed her, she turned back into a human- as female wolves do when they fall in love- and then when I opened my eyes- I imprinted on her."

I noticed how he stressed that _he _had kissed _her, _and realised that he was trying to make sure that I didn't pass off the blame of Leah.

Jacob's eyes were flashing over my face anxiously, waiting for my reaction.

"Bella," He whispered. "I am so, so sorry. I feel horrible. I just…I can't help it. Imprinting is natural to us…I just…Oh Bella- can't you say something?"

"Hu?" I glanced up as Jacob's word all came rushing at me at once. I frowned, trying to work out my feelings. Why _wasn't _I upset? This was the end of my marriage! So why did I feel sort of…_pleased _for him, the way one friend would feel happy for another.

I looked up to find that Jake was still staring at me, hit top teeth nervously chewing at his bottom lip.

I didn't want to be the reason for his anguish. I raised my hand and, with one finger, tried to smooth out the frown lines that were tracing their way across his forehead.

"It's okay." I whispered. "We finished long ago."

"I know." Jacob said, his voice thick, and then he pulled me into a hug. And for the first time since we had started going out, we were finally easy, natural again. I closed my eyes. It was nice not to have to pretend anymore.

But as soon as we broke apart, the last seven years came rushing back like a tidal wave, pulling us under, threatening to drown us completely.

What were we to say? What were we to do now that we were finally through? Staring, with no mistake, at then end of what had always been a path with a dead end?

And then the tears were coming, and not because I didn't want him to go, or because I didn't want all this to end- because I _did, _I really, really did. I cried because as I had hugged him, I had realised that we would never be able to go back to how we were. Bella and Jacob. Having fun, laughing- just _being _there for each other. Sitting on the beach, going to the cinema, slowly learning about each other. Doing homework, building motor bikes.

So cried for the lost girl inside of me, huge heart broken sobs. Because I missed her- I really, really did.

"Don't cry, Bells- please." Jacob begged, pulling me close to him again, but this time it brought none of the relief it had last time.

I pulled away, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. "I'm _happy _for you, Jake." I wailed.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked, perplexed.

"Because…because…" I struggled with myself for a moment, then met his big, dark innocent eyes- and stopped. I wouldn't tell him. I would let him walk away still thinking that we could be friends. He would only learn in time anyway.

I took a deep breath. "You look like you've got your own personal sun shining away in your eyes," I told him, trying to change the subject- then smiled as a memory from a long time ago came drifting back.

"What?"

"Nothing…" I muttered, but Jacob opened his mouth furiously, obviously deciding that this was not a sufficient answer. "Okay, okay- fine! I was just remembering…when we first started hanging out, that was how I used to think of you. My own little sunshine."

Jacob smiled sadly. "Do you want me to go?" He asked quietly.

I hesitated, then nodded, sighing heavily. He reached out his arms, and for a moment, I thought he wanted to hug me again, but then he simply slipped Silver out my arms and kissed her little button nose.

He glanced up at me. "Shall we talk about…the house later?"

I hadn't thought about that. He was right. We'd have to sell the house. We'd both have to move, though I guess that he and Leah would just get a place together.

I nodded glumly, and took Lyra back. "See you…soon, then."

"Yeah. Bye." Looking embarrassed, Jacob half waved, then turned and nearly sprinted out the door. I waited for a moment, then went over to the window, and looked out at the forest.

Leah was waiting for him about a meter into the forest, still in clear view of the house. She smiled as Jake ran up to her and took her hand, raising her face to his…I looked away.

I didn't want to see anymore.

I sighed and looked around the suddenly empty house. We would get a divorce, I thought dully. He would get re- married. I would stay alone.

I felt suddenly…unwanted. The one person that I had always continued on wanting me, always needing me- was Jacob. But now he too had got sick of me and moved on.

Just like Edward.

I suddenly felt exhausted. My eyes were heavy, and all I wanted to do was sleep. I picked up Lyra, and dragged myself upstairs, slipping her into her crib beside my bed, dropping some of her toys in beside her.

Then, I yanked the curtains shut, averting my eyes from the forest where Leah and Jacob were still kissing, then slid into my bed, throwing my quilt over my head.

I was asleep with in minuets.

_Chapter Seven- Victoria's Revenge _

_Victoria's Point Of Views _

Being an immortal vampire, I know how to wait.

I could wait for centuries, living years as if they were mere days, if I _wanted_ to wait for that one opportune moment.

So waiting seven simple years for Bella was not a difficult task.

It was admitted that I could have attacked the human while she was weak and venerable after her vampire had left hr, but it felt too easy- too simple. She _wanted_ death to come and find her- I would only be making it simple for her, and as Edward had already left her, it irritated me to think that he got off so easily.

I had never felt so angry as when I found out that Edward had left his human. After all he had done those short months ago, after the _death_ of my James- he had simply left her, cast her aside like an unwanted toy. No, I didn't see why he should get of so easily.

I had been sure that he would come back in time, so I hung around, watching the girl's every move…waiting, waiting, waiting.

But he had never come. At first I had been annoyed- irritated that is would just be another simple kill that could barely make up for James' death- but then the boy had come.

The second that his foul stench had met my nostrils- I had known what he was. A _werewolf. _The lowest of vermin, the scum of society. The only thing that I was thirsty for its death as much as Edward and Bella's.

Finally, it was getting exciting.

I had wondered when to attack. I wanted it to hurt the boy, wanted the pain to be so crippling that it would kill him too- so that meant waiting.

I waited while they went out, started to get to know each other, constantly tiptoeing around one another. After a mere year, they moved in together, and not a year later- they were married.

That was my cue. I slunk over to their house after night had fallen, my light footsteps not making even the tiniest of sounds as they touched the leaf covered forest floor. The forest stunk of werewolf's, and with my trained nose, I could work out that Bella's werewolf was out, in the forest. I had heard them talking, their voices drifting to me sitting a mile away by the sea, as clear as if they were next to me.

"_I'm going out for a run, Bells- okay?" The boy had said. _

"_Hmmm?" Bella had seemed distracted. _

"_I'm going for a run. I'll be back in an hour."_

"_Oh. Right." _

One hour. That was all I had. I wasn't sure how strong the werewolf was, and after James' death, I wasn't about to make the same mistake as him and underestimate people.

I listened to him leave the forest and set off at a run, then I ducked back into the forest and sprinted to the house.

She was upstairs. I could feel her heart beat, steady and strong. _But not for much longer. _I thought smugly, as I climbed effortlessly up the wall.

Bella was in the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bath, with something balancing beside her. Her head was tilted upwards, staring at the ceiling, her hair falling down her back.

Her lips were barely mouthing words that no human would ever have been able to hear.

"Please, please, please, please…" She muttered.

I frowned, and glanced down at the thing beside her. My sharp eyes recognised it at once, and my eyes widened.

_A pregnancy test. _

At the same time as the words crossed my mind, Bella lent down and picked it up, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Please, please- please make it a negative." She whispered, then her eyes opened.

I knew the results before she did.

A positive.

Bella held it in her hand for a very long minuet, her eyes flashing over the small black word. Then, suddenly, her hand dropped down to her stomach, and she squeaked, even though she could have only been weeks gone, as her stomach was still flat. Her expression shifted- her eyes were suddenly alight with new found excitement as hr thumb rubbed circles against her blue top.

She was _pleased. _

I dropped silently away from the window, landing, cat like, on the ground, my mind racing.

She was _pregnant. _In nine months, she would be cradling her new born baby in her arms, cooing down at it, watching it grow…well that changed things.

That changed _everything. _

Because if I killed Bella now, no matter how much pain I caused her- it would all be over in less than an hour- just in time for her werewolf lover were arrive home and find his wife, dead on the floor. So _he, _the misfortunate husband, would feel all the pain I so yearned for Bella- but she would be dead unable to feel anything.

Was that _really _enough?

The answer was simple.

No.

She had to suffer. She had to feel the pain of her loosing Edward over and over again, a thousand times worse. I wanted to break her from inside before I killed her on the outside.

So I waited. I waited for nine months, until she finally gave birth to the brat child. For a year, I watched as, with each passing day, Bella fell more and more in love with the baby.

I was planning to wait until the child was at least four- old enough to be able to scream for pain and mercy- but when she was a mere one year old, I heard something which changed everything.

The werewolf was leaving Bella.

I was ecstatic. Yet another heart break, another thing to rip the human up with! And now that the werewolf wasn't around the protect her- there was no better time to attack.

The front door wasn't locked. I chuckled softly to myself as I stepped silently inside. This was _too _easy.

They were both upstairs. Mother and child. I could hear both heartbeats, beating rhythmically at different times.

I was up the stairs at stood at the foot of Bella's bed in less than a second. She slept on, frowning in her sleep, muttering to herself. She wasn't even aware that she was seconds away from death.

I turned to the crib that was stood along side her bed. The child in it was more aware than her mother, and not asleep. She looked up when I appeared, and her bright silver eyes widened for a moment as she considered whether to cry or not.

I padded slowly closer, cooing to her under my breath. "_Quiet, baby, quiet. It will all be over soon. You'll be dead soon." _

Not understanding my words, she listening to the soft cooing sound, and smiled, holding out her chubby arms to me to be picked up.

I slid out my hands, and caught her under her arms. She registered my icy touch, and her bottom lip trembled. In a flash, I held her close to me, stifling the sound. How easy it would be to just kill her now. One soft touch to the head- and she would never cry again.

I forced myself to think of Bella's pain, and resisted. I had to be gentle enough not to kill her.

I lowered one frozen finger, and ran it along the stretch of her arm, my thin nail slicing open her thin skin. Blood oozed out the cut, and at once, my vampire instincts were alive with thirst- but I _had _to ignore it. I _would _kill Bella in every way possible.

The child screamed out, and Bella jolted awake.

"Silver?" She murmured, not really coherent, raising one fist to rub the sleep from her eyes. She looked up, her eyes searching for the crib. When she found it empty, she sat straight up- and her eyes flashed straight to meet mine as I stood in the corner of the room, my red hair falling into my eyes, her baby cradled in my arms with her blood running over my fingers.

"Oh!" Bella gasped, then her face went white. "Please- don't touch Lyra. Please- I'll do anything. _Anything! _I promise you! Kill me, just please, please, _please _leave…"

"Stop." My order was quiet, my voice controlled, but Bella bit back her words at once, her top teeth gnawing on her bottom lip as her agonised eyes flashed back to her daughter. "Do you remember me, Bella?"

Bella nodded her head stiffly.

"I can't hear you, Bella." I said sweetly, then bent the baby's arm backwards so that she screamed again.

Bella's hands flew to her cheeks. "Wait! Wait- please. Don't hurt her. Of course I remember you."

I strolled around the edge of the bed, my blood red eyes gazing intently at her. "Ah- what happened to you, Bella? You look terrible."

She barely seemed to hear me.

"Though, if I remember correctly, last time you were with some vampire. Weren't you sort of a pet of the Cullen's?" Bella winced at the sound of their name, and I pounced on her reaction.

"But it was one of them you were really close to, weren't you?" I whispered, moving even closer. For the first time since she had woken up- Bella ripped her eyes away from her baby's face.

"Don't." She whispered, her voice broken and trembling. "Please…"

"_Edward!" _I whispered viciously, and Bella let out a dry sob. She held out trembling arms to the child, tears dripping down her cheeks.

"Just let me take Lyra. Please- she's just a baby…"

"Do you know how long I've been waiting for you, Bella?" I asked conversationally.

"Please…"

"Seven years. I was just going to kill you off when _Edward _left, but then I decided against it. You were getting close to your new man- and surely there's better ways to hurt you?"

Bella's eyes flashed to mine. "You've hurt Jake?" She cried.

"Me?" I scoffed. "Touch a werewolf?" My eyes flashed as my sly smile came back. "No. I'm waiting until after I've killed you two to deal with him."

"_Both _of us?" She cried. "No! Please! Victoria, she's just a _baby! _This is nothing to do with her- _nothing!"_

"No!" I hissed. "This is _everything _to do with her, because she has _you _as a mother! You- a worthless, unwanted, unlovable, human _murderer!" _I spat the last word, but, to my disgust- she didn't even wince.

Wanting to hear her scream, I pulled back the baby's arm- and heard a crack. Was it her arm breaking? Or Bella's heart cracking in half? I couldn't decide which would be better.

"And now," I hissed, the anger bubbling inside of me, "You, Bella Swan, will sit and watch your baby die before I turn on you- just like you watching _my _James die!"

Bella screamed out, the tears running freely down her cheeks now. "I'm sorry, Victoria! I'm sorry! Please, kill me- just leave Lyra!"

I laughed loudly, the sound dancing around the room, mixing in with the baby's screams, and Bella's heaving heart broken sobs.

Taking a deep breath, savouring the moment, I shook back my hair- and strolled slowly towards my victim.

_Renee's Point of View _


	8. Knife Edge Part One

_Bella's Point of View_

"No! Please!" I screamed. I could feel the tears wet on my face, dripping slowly down my cheeks, but I made no move to rub them away.

The vampire in front of me laughed mercilessly, and pulled my poor Lyra's arm back so that she screamed. Her arm was split open from Victoria's razor sharp nail.

My mouth was dry, and my mind was blank as I struggled to think of a way to get Lyra away from that _monster. _

I had tried running from a vampire before- the very same one that Victoria was here to avenge- when I was seventeen years old. I had gone less than a meter before James had leapt on me, and broken my leg. I would try running for it again today, but I was terrified what she would do to Lyra if I tried anything.

Victoria stared down at me with cold, heartless eyes while my baby sobbed helplessly in her arms.

"Watch her!" Victoria hissed. "Look at her! Watch her die- watch the light slowly fade from her eyes!"

She clenched her hand into a fist as scraped her nails across Lyra's face. Blood welled up in the deep cuts, and Lyra screamed out again, struggling against Victoria's unbreakable hold, her arms stretching out to me.

"Shush, Lyra, shush." I murmured, my voice shaking as I attempted to soothe my screaming child. "Please Lyra- shush, baby. It will all be over in a few moments."

I looked up at Victoria, forcing myself to meet her blood red eyes. "P…Please- let m-me h-h-hold her one l-last time." I stuttered, gasping for breath through my tears.

Victoria snorted. "Allow you that pleasure? I don't think so." She prowled forward.

I fixed my eyes on Lyra, drinking her in, trying to remember every little aspect of her. If I was going to die- I wanted her on my mind.

_Lyra, I'm so sorry. _I thought desperately, even though it was pointless. _I love you, and I'm so, so, so sorry that I'm putting you through this. _

But there had to be _something _I could do. I was her _mother! _I was supposed to protect her from people who wanted to hurt her. I had to.

I struggled to my feet- then leapt at Victoria. She was so surprised that she didn't react before my body smashed into her ice cold form. I stumbled backwards, tripped over my own feet and fell heavily to the floor.

I was on my feet again in a second, but Victoria, being able to move fifty times faster than me, had already grabbed me my the neck and sent me flying backwards. I hit the back wall and landed in a crumpled heap.

This was it.

This was the end.

After all that I had been through- Edward wanting to kill me, then James, then Jasper attacking me- this was how I would die. I had thought that it would be the end of the vampire attacks when Edward left- but I had been wrong.

_This _was how I was going to die, with my heart screaming as it broke in half in my chest; alone and crying.

Always so alone.

My head was spinning, my senses dulled.

But I could feel the throbbing in the side of my head.

And I heard the door fly open, bouncing back against the wall with the force it had been pushed open with.

My eyesight was fuzzy as I looked up, still slumped against the wall, my daughter's screaming echoing over and over again in my head. My eyes went straight to the door, where a lean, tall figure was stood. His clothes were plain, fitting smoothly to his perfect body. His dark mop of hair fell into his face, almost, but not completely, obscuring furious amber eyes with dark, tired smudges underneath them.

My heart stopped.

_No, no, no, no, no, no. _

It was him.

It couldn't be him.

There was no way that the vampire that I had been missing for seven years, the man who was in my every thought, my every dream- could not be stood, towering with rage, in my bedroom.

I barely had time to register his appearance, though.

In a second, he had pounced on Victoria. She was half turning when he reached her, and she screamed out in anger.

"_You!" _Victoria hissed.

Edward opened his mouth to reply, but I stuffed my fingers in my ears. I didn't want to hear his beautiful voice. The memory of its smoothness, of its perfection, was just starting to fade. I couldn't afford to have that healing hole ripped wide open again.

The two vampires twirled around the room, lost in their own game. I couldn't work out who was who…whose arm it was that flew across the room, who was screaming out in pain…

Lyra lay, abandoned and forgotten, in the corner. My terrified eyes searched her limp form, and with a gasp, I started to crawl over to her- but before I had moved more than an inch, a second after the thought entered my mind- Edward was crouched in front of me, his arms stretched out in a pose of protection.

The same one he had used all those years ago at my eighteenth birthday party.

_Don't think, don't feel, don't remember. _

"Bella? Bella! Are you okay?" Edward demanded, his voice layered with anxiety.

"I…I'm fine- but what about Lyra!" I tried to push past him, but he shook his head sharply, his amber eyes still flashing over me, searching for any injuries.

"Stay where you are, Bella." He ordered.

"But she's my _baby!_" I screamed, and tried to shove at his arm- but I did about as much use as I would have done pushing on a concrete wall and ordering it to sing.

"Stop it!" Edward insisted, pressing me even further back into the wall, so that I could feel the cold ice of his skin against mine.

I furiously opened my mouth to reply- then we both froze.

Victoria was stood on the other side of the room, Lyra suddenly in her arms. Seeming to sense danger, Lyra fell quiet- and the silence was eerie.

There was a wild glow in Victoria's eyes. "I _will _kill you, Bella Swan!" She shouted, "You _and _your brat child!"

I heard Jacob before I saw him. There was the sound of the front door slamming, rushed footsteps and heavy panting- then the door flew open for the second time, and a red faced, wild eyed Jacob stood in the doorway.

"Get your hands _off _my baby!" He bellowed- and threw himself at Victoria, not even bothering to change his form in his anger.

"_Lyra!" _I screeched, and Edward responded at once. He threw himself head first into the fight. There was a terrible ripping sound- then an arm landed beside me. I shuddered and turned away, vomit rising in my throat as I took in the still twitching fingers.

Jacob detangled himself from Victoria, and instead launched himself at Edward. "_You!" _He roared.

"Isn't there a priority here?" Edward yelled back as he dodged Jacob and reappeared behind Victoria.

"YES!" Jacob was beside himself with his fury. "KILLING YOU!"

"Jake- please!" I screamed, "Lyra!"

Everything seemed to come rushing back to Jacob at once. Mid way through an attack at Edward, he launched himself instead towards Lyra, who had been discarded in a corner.

Victoria noticed his change in direction, and dashed forward at the same time. Her arms curled around my baby at the same time as Edward disappeared from the other side of the room, and, using his inhuman speed- reappeared beside Victoria.

He ripped Lyra free of Victoria, and almost threw her at Jacob, who caught her, and held her tight to him, pressing her face into his chest as his tears rained down on her head.

"I _will _kill Bella!" Victoria howled, and lunged for me again, but Edward met her half way, shoving her backwards so that she fell out the room and toppled down the thin staircase.

I don't know what happened next, but I could guess. There was a ripping sound, the echo of the front door being slammed shut- then Edward swore loudly, shouting words I had never heard him use before.

I stumbled to my feet and tripped my way across the room. Jacob met me half way, his warm arms wrapping around me, but I fought against him, reaching for Lyra.

"Lyra, Lyra, Lyra!" I sobbed as I pressed her to me. Her hair was matted, her face wet with tears, and blood was running down her arm.

"She's bleeding, Jake!" I cried, my voice raising to a scream as my shaking hands ran along the deep, jagged cut.

"I know, I know!" Jacob moaned. "I need to call an ambulance."

"I've already done that." Said a quiet voice from the corner.

Jacob span around.

I didn't.

I didn't want to see him again. Already, he just seemed like a distant dream. Had it really been him? My mind questioned my sanity, but my heart knew I was right.

It had been him.

I would have recognised him anywhere. I knew every line of his face better than I knew my own. His wide, innocent amber eyes, the straight line of his nose, his hard, cold lips…

"You again!" Jacob growled, his hands curling into fists. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"My name is Edward Cullen, and I…" Edward began, his voice smooth and as perfect as ever.

Jacob swore loudly, cutting over him. "I know who are you are!" He hissed. "You're the stupid boy who broke Bella!"

Confusion passed across Edward's face. "Broke?" He questioned, then his eyes flashed to mine. For a moment, they met- and I thought I saw something flicker in his eyes, something alive- but I looked away before I could work out what it was. I didn't want to look into his perfect face and know that he could never be mine.

A sob rose in my throat as I pressed Lyra even closer to me. Why now? Why now, after seven years? Why- _how- _had he just turned up like that?

Lyra's cries mixed in with my own, and I remembered my priority with a jolt.

"Jacob!" I called, my voice shaking. "We need to get Lyra to the hospital. I think her cut may need stitches."

"I've called for an ambulance." Edward offered, stepping forward, but I stepped away from his open arms.

"No, thank you." I said smartly. I could feel his confused eyes on my face, but I ignored his gaze. _Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. _"Jake- have you got the car? Can you drive us?"

Jacob glanced back at Edward, torn. He obviously wanted to carry on having a go at Edward- but there wasn't time for that. "Sure." He sighed, and held out his arms to Lyra.

I shook my head, my arms tightening around my baby. She was the only thing, her, solid and real in my arms, that was keeping me from screaming and crying. From running and yelling. From looking at _him. _

"No," I whispered. "I want to carry her."

Jake nodded silently, and put his arm around my shoulders. Part of my mind wondered idly where Leah was, and Jacob seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because he removed his arm. He walked me to the door, and held it open for me to pass through.

"Bella!" Edward called.

I froze for a moment, then carried on walking.

"Bella- please wait!" Edward shouted, and grabbed my arm. For one, heart stopping moment, his skin was cold on mine and I was home again- but then a warm one hit it away with a growl.

"Don't you _dare _touch her!" Jacob shouted, spinning around.

"Jake, please!" I begged.

"I just want to talk to her." Edward said, his voice low.

Jacob's hand curled into fists. "Like hell you do!"

"Think of Lyra!" I said, grabbing Jacob's arm and pulling him away. I wanted to get out of there, get away from _him _so that I could finally think properly.

We managed to get to the front door, and out into the front yard before Edward spoke again.

"I'll be following in the car behind." Edward said quietly. I glanced up to see the old silver Volvo sat behind out old blue Ford. Seeing it there was like another stab to the heart. How many times had I rode in that car, next to Edward, feeling safe and warm? How many times had I sat there, with his hand in mine?

"You stay _away _from me and my family!" Jacob warned in a low voice, then yanked open the passenger door of our old car. It squeaked as it opened.

I climbed inside quickly, and cradled Lyra in my arms. A second later, the driver's door was flung open, and Jacob got in, starting the engine before he even had the door closed.

We sped out the driveway, Jacob driving much more carelessly and quickly than usual in his anger.

"Slow down." I whispered, as the trees flashed past my window. Lyra's crying was the only sound in the car.

Jacob sped up.

"I know you're angry," I began, my voice shaking. "I am too. But you've got to slow down. You're going to get us killed." My voice broke on the last word as I remembered how she had threatened my baby with death.

Jacob exhaled through his mouth, a sarcastic and disbelieving sound. "_Angry?_" He repeated scornfully. "Don't lie, Bella. You're ecstatic that the blood sucker is back. This is what you've always wanted, isn't it?"

"No." I said, stung.

He laughed cruelly, and swung off the quiet country lane to meet the faster main road.

Lyra's crying suddenly got an octave louder, and Jacob shot her a cold look.

"Can't you make her be quiet?" He snapped.

"I'm _trying._" I hissed back. I knew he was only being like because he was tense with worry- but I couldn't help raising to the bait. I _hated _him when he was like this- so cold and immature.

We couldn't reach the hospital fast enough. As soon as we arrived, I flung open my door and stormed into the hospital.

Somewhere behind me, I heard a door slam, and the whisper of light feet on the pavement- and I knew that it was him.

Clutching Lyra closer to me, I took a deep breath- then marched through the revolving doors, pushing away any thoughts of angry werewolves and beautiful, heart breaking vampires.


	9. Knife Edge Part Two

_Chapter Eight, part two- Knife Edge_

_Bella's Point of View_

I was already at the desk when Jacob and Edward dashed in after me.

"Bella." They both said at the same time, Jacob's tone angry, Edward's relieved.

The secretary raised her eyebrows at me, then her eyes wandered past me to see Edward. Her breath caught in her throat, and her eyes widened. For some reason, I felt a flicker of anger.

"Hello?" I said pointedly.

"Uh hu?" She finally tore her eyes away from Edward. "Um…Hello?"

"Hello- my baby's been cut." I said.

"Name?" She drawled, fluttering her eyelashes at Edward.

_So what? _I though viciously. _She was open to the stupid vampire. Maybe _she _would be good enough for him. _"Her name is Lyra Black."

She tapped some keys on the computer, her name tag swinging forward so that I could read it. _June._ That was a stupid name anyway.

She looked up to smile at me, trying to look good for Edward. "Okay, thanks. Can you go and wait over there, please?" She'd turned away before she'd even finished speaking. "Can I help _you?_" She asked Edward, the double meaning clear.

She reminded me forcibly of a waitress Edward and I had once had. That had been the bad part of going out with Edward Cullen. Everywhere you went, you were looked down on.

I stalked over to the chairs she had motioned to, grabbing a magazine and pulling it open on a random page.

"No, thank you." Edward said quietly, then came and sat in the chair opposite me.

"Oh get _lost, _will you?" Jacob cried, flinging himself into the chair beside me and glowering at Edward. "Bella wants you to go too- don't you, Bells?"

Did I? I _thought _I did. But what if this was the last chance that i ever got to see him ever again? I couldn't bear that thought.

"Just say the word, Bella." Edward said quietly.

I didn't answer, shutting my eyes and rubbing my hand over my forehead.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked anxiously.

"I'm _fine!_" I hissed.

People around us were staring. Not that you didn't get stared at if you went anywhere with Edward, but now, with Jake growling under his breath, Lyra screaming, Edward's beauty and my frustration- we were the centre of attention.

Which was _not _a place I enjoyed to be.

"Lyra Black?" I looked up at the sound of my daughters name. A nurse was stood above us. She was an older women, in her mid fifties, I thought, with a frizzy mop of grey hair, and kind blue eyes. I was glad she wasn't young and pretty.

"Yes, that's us." I said, jumping up. "I'm Bella Black."

The nurse looked expectantly at Edward, who had risen with me, guessing that he was the father.

Jacob leapt to his feet, his face red as he elbowed Edward out of the way. _"I'm_ the father, actually." He glared at Edward. "Jacob Black."

The nurse smiled politely at him. "Well if you follow me, I'll check up on your daughter."

She led us through the broad corridors to a room filled with rows of beds. We all crowded around it, and she pulled the curtains shut, shutting out the other curious nurses.

"My names Nurse Outlaw. I just need to check out you're daughter's arm."

"Okay." I nodded, and held Lyra out to her.

The nurse took her carefully, and stretched out her arm, examining the cut. "Hmmm…this is a bit nasty." She looked up. "How did you do it?"

My mind went blank. "She…She…" I looked at Jacob, but he just shrugged helplessly.

"She's just learning to walk." Edward lied smoothly. "We were letting her toddle around a bit, and she got a little over excited and fell over. You know what they're like at that age." He stopped to smile and roll his eyes, adding to the effect. "We weren't sure how bad it is, but we decided it's better to be safe than sorry, don't you agree?"

"Defiantly." The nurse nodded. She seemed to swallow his story, and went back to examining her arm. "You never can be too careful at that age."

I nodded, and looked admiringly at Edward. He caught my eye, and, for one moment, I was lost in the beauty of his eyes, the gentle spiral of the pupil, the perfect curve of his eyelashes…

I blinked, and looked away, blushing.

"Well, this looks pretty deep." The nurse said, sighing. "I think she's going to need stitches, but we'll need a doctor for that. I'll go and get him, shall I?"

I nodded, and thanked her as she disappeared around the curtain, and I breathed out in relief.

There was one beat of silence, then Edward spoke. "Bella?"

"Yes?" I replied tightly, still not looking at him.

"Don't you think you should get checked out, too?"

I frowned. "No. Why?"

"You've had a shock." He said earnestly. "I think you should go and…"

I stopped listening. He just wanted to get rid of me. All this dumb pretending to care was all just a load of rubbish.

"I'm _fine." _I said curtly.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"She said she was fine, alright?" Jacob snapped, standing up. "Get over it."

Edward stood up, too, squaring up to Jacob.

"Oh for God's sake- sit down _both _of you." I sighed. I grabbed Jacob's shoulder and yanked him down, then reached out, intending to do the same to Edward- but I stopped myself at the last moment, my hand curling into a fist as I placed it back in my lap.

Edward noticed. I could see him frowning out of the corner of my eye, but I daren't look at him.

It was another five minuets before the doctor and Nurse Outlaw reappeared.

"Well, hello, hello, hello!" The doctor sang cheerfully, ripping back the curtain to beam at us all. "How are we all today?"

Jacob grunted.

Not seeming to notice the tense mood, the doctor stepped forward, standing in front of me with his arms locked behind his back.

"This is the little casualty, is it?" He chuckled. "That's a nasty one."

"Is it really bad?" I asked anxiously, and I heard Jacob's breath stop.

"We've had worse." The doctor assured me. "But never the less, she will need stitches, and she'll probably have a scar."

"But I'll be able to take her home today?"

"Yes."

I breathed out in relief, and glanced up to smile at Jacob. Lyra whimpered in my arms, and I stroked her hair.

"You're okay, baby." I cooed. "You're going to be fine."  
"I can do her stitches here, if you would like." The doctor offered.

"Thank you."

The nurse disappeared to go and get everything ready, while the doctor talked us through it.

"I'll give her an injection so that her senses are dulled, then I'll stitch it. This will need about…five, I'd say."

"Can I hold her while they're doing it?" Jacob asked. I hesitated. _I _wanted to hold her, but I knew it wasn't really fair. She was his daughter as well.

Glumly, I held her out to him, and he took her, cradling her carefully.

The space was so small and cramped that I had no choice but to go and stand next to Edward. I could feel the coldness of his skin radiating off him, and shivered, tears welling up in my eyes.

How many times had I wished that I could feel that cool skin again? How many tears had I wasted over him? And now that I had my wish- that he had finally come back- I couldn't even look at him.

My eyes were blurred with tears, my hands shaking- and I hated him. I truly, truly hated him. Because he was still so young and perfect, locked in his teens for ever- while I was older, and still so plain and boring.

"She's going to be fine." Edward murmured, his velvet voice comforting me. I shut my eyes, and played a game in my head. I imagined that I was seventeen again and that he'd never left. This wasn't mine and Jacob's child- it was mine and Edward's.

I imagined that he still loved me, still held me every night, still whispered words in to my ear as I slept…

He made it easier, taking my hand and holding it in his freezing grasp as I waited. Jacob didn't look up once, his eyes fixed on our daughter, squeezing her hand every time she moaned.

Finally, the doctor stood back with a satisfied smile on her face, and I ripped my hand from Edward's hand with out a second thought.

I regretted it at once, wishing I was back with him, in my imaginary game- but I forced myself to walk towards Lyra and Jacob.

He didn't love me. I had to remember that. I couldn't let myself fall back into that old trap called love. Lyra was all that mattered now.

"Thank you." I said to the doctor as he walked past with the nurse. They both stopped at the door to wave to Lyra, then ducked under the curtain and walked away.

"They did a neat job, there." Jacob murmured, his soft fingers stroking along the cut.

I nodded, and Jacob stood up, smiling. "Do you want me to drive you home?" He asked me.

My mind was whirling. _Did _I want him to drive me home? Home, to that ugly, small house that was filled with sad and lonely memories? The answer was easy.

No.

But then where else could I go? I was too shaken up, too scared to go and live alone, knowing that Victoria knew exactly where I was. What if she attacked again? What if, next time, we weren't so lucky?

I hugged Lyra closer to me. I could never put her in danger again.

"No, thank you." I answered Jacob clearly.

He looked blank. "What?"

"I'm not going home."

"_What_?" This time, it wasn't Jake who spoke. Edward fought his way forward, and stared incredulously at me.

My face flushed. "I'm not going home. I'm going to Phoenix." The idea came to me suddenly, and as soon as I said it, I knew it was a good idea.

"Phoenix?" Jacob repeated blankly.

"It's where her mother lives." Edward said quietly, and Jacob scowled at him.

"I know _that, _blood sucker- but why would you want to go there _now_?"

"I want to see my mum."

Jacob shook his head firmly. "No way. Until I know for sure that that filthy _vampire _is dead- you and Silver are staying with me."

"No way!" I protested furiously. I wasn't going to be baby-sat like some insolent toddler!

"No one thinks you're incapable, Bella." Edward said, and I looked up to find his eyes on my face. Even after all this time, he could still read my face like an open book.

"And besides," He added, "I need to keep an eye on you, too."

Anger exploded up inside of me. How dare he? How _dare _he? How could he come in like this and break my heart again, acting like he actually _cared _whether I lived or died? I opened my mouth furiously, but Jacob got in there first.

"Get _lost, _Cullen!" He hissed, venom seeping out of every word.

"She's not going to Phoenix."

"Stop telling me what I can and can't do!" I shouted. "I'm going to see my mum whether you two like it or not!"

"No." Jacob said, but there was a different edge to his voice now. I turned to look at him in surprise, and there was a blind panic in his eyes. "Don't take Silver away from me, Bella." He whispered, his hand clutching at mine.

"And what if I do stay? What, you just come and check up on us every few hours?" I snorted. "Yeah, because I'm sure Leah won't mind _that _at all."

Jacob paused, and his hand fell away from mine. To him, there was only one thing- one _person _in the world who could possibly ever mean more to him that his own daughter.

Leah.

"I'll bring her back in a couple of weeks or so." I promised in a low voice.

Edward exhaled through his nose in frustration. "For goodness sake- _she's not going!" _

"Your opinion does not count." I told him.

"How am I supposed to reach you if you're in Phoenix?" He asked, almost desperately.

My eyes traced over his face, rememorizing every tiny little detail. I pressed my lips together, then whispered, "You won't be able to."

Edward got the message. He shut his own mouth tightly, his arms locking behind him as if he was holding himself back.

"You sure about this, Bells?" Jacob asked. "If you stayed, we could work something out. Leah would understand. We could…"

He broke off when I shook my head. "No. I've decided. It could never work, Jake. We need to put the house on sale anyway. The sooner the better, I say." I tried for a smile, gathered up Lyra, then turned away, but he caught hold of my arm.

"I'm sorry, Bella. You know that, right?" He almost whispered.

I smiled. "Of course I do, Jake." I leant in to hug him, putting my arms around his neck and breathing in the musty wood smell of my best friend. "Be happy." I whispered into his ear, pushed back the curtain- and walked away.

Walked away from the man who I loved more than any one else in the world.

Walked away from the father of my child.

_Just keep walking, just keep breathing. _

I just walked away, leaving my heart safe with the man with the pale skin and amber eyes.


	10. Cry For a Lost Life

_Cry For a Lost Life_

_Chapter Nine_

_Edward's Point of View_

Bella had left.

My feet were rooted to the ground, my legs numb. Beside me, Jacob shot me a cold look- then pushed past me, out the curtain.

And I was left alone.

I sat down heavily on the bed, and put my head in my hands, running my long fingers through my hair. She'd barely looked at me once the entire time I was with her. My subconscious desperately tried to think of a good reason for this- but it came up blank.

It was clear. She no longer loved me. I had left her. I had betrayed her. How _could _she love me?

A hand came down on my shoulder, soft and soothing, rubbing circles into my back. My still heart was screaming out in pain, and it was all I wanted to do to curl up in a circle and just die.

Because there was no point to life without Bella.

Beside me, I heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Edward!" Alice hissed. "You can _not _be thinking of going to the Volturi!"

Not really caring what she saw, I glanced once into her mind, and saw myself in Italy, in front of the Volturi. I thought of my family, about how angry and upset they'd be, and my decision wavered.

The image in Alice's mind flickered in response. Alice waited until it had died completely before speaking.

"She loves you, Edward. I know she does."

Suddenly angry, I pulled away from my sister. "Oh yeah?" I asked irritably, marching over to the small window. We were talking so quietly that no human ear would ever be able to hear us, but I knew that Carlisle, even working at the other side of the hospital, would have no trouble. "If she still loves me- then why didn't she look at me once today?"

Alice was at my side in an instant. "Because you've hurt her, Edward! You cut her heart out, then left her bleeding for seven years. That's going to leave scars."

I winced.

"You have to be there for her, Edward." Alice insisted. "You have to make her trust you again, and I _really _don't think forcing her to stay in Forks is really the best plan."

I sighed. "I know. What I said didn't make a difference anyway. But Alice, how am I supposed to see her in Phoenix?" I span back around to look at her with tortured eyes.

"Maybe…" Alice began carefully, biting her lip. "Maybe you don't."

I started to interrupt, so Alice carried on quickly.

"I know that's hard. I get it. But she said about two weeks, didn't she? She needs to clear her head, to think things through properly. She's just been attacked by a maniac vampire hell bent of revenge, for Gods sake! All things considered, she's actually handling this pretty well."

I nodded. "Yeah. She's pretty amazing."

"And she still will be in two weeks. Hang around Forks for a bit, then go and speak to her properly when you've both calmed down a bit."

I knew that Alice was speaking sense- but I didn't want to hear it.

"I can't let her go on her own."

Alice smiled. That was the next part of her plan.

"I'll go with her."

I stared at her. In her mind, I saw images of her striding up to Bella's front door as Bella hastily packed for her trip- but then I could see no further.

I shook my head sharply. "You hurt her, too Alice! You left her too! Why are you so sure that she'll welcome you back, but not me?"

Alice's smiled faded on her lips, her eyes suddenly serious. "Because you were everything to her, Edward. She loved me like a sister, like family- but that was still nothing to how she felt about you. Did you not see the way she used to look at you? Did you not wonder how she would ever cope when you left?"

"I wanted what was best for her." I whispered.

"Then let me go to her. Let me take her to Phoenix. I can watch her for a while, make sure she's safe. Make sure she's happy."

Finally seeing the sense behind Alice's words, I nodded.

For one brief second, Alice's arms were around me in a hug, and I shut my eyes. By the time I opened them, she was gone.

I had waited over a hundred years for Bella.

I would wait two more weeks.

_Alice's Point of View_

I was outside Bella's house in less than five seconds, excitement cursing through me.

I had visited it once before, some five years back, following Edward in the darkness, until he had caught me, and chased me all the way back to our house.

I had missed her. She had been my best friend- badly dressed as she was- and I was furious at Edward for tearing her away from me, forcing me to move away.

My folded my feet over each other, gazing down, distracted for a moment, at my brand new pumps. They were shiny and black, with a white rim and bow. Normally, they wouldn't have been my style at all- but I was feeling a bit mad the day I brought them. Jasper and I had argued, and I had badly needed something to distract me.

Ten minuets later, the yellow taxi swung into the forest clearing. The driver was an old man with a dirty stubble. I could see him giving Bella the eye, and thanked God that Edward wasn't here- but then he caught sight of me as I jumped up from the wall, and his eyes goggled.

Bella glanced up, following his gaze- then saw me.

I had often spent time imaging the moment that I would finally speak to Bella again. I had imagined it sunny and happy, with Bella crying (as usual) and me laughing.

But not this. Not ever, ever did I imagine that my return would be met with a glare from my best friend cold enough to send chills through ice.

Bella thrust a handful of notes at the driver, shoved open the door and stormed up me, her face as dark as thunder.

"What the hell are you all _doing _here?" She hissed, almost spitting at me in her anger. Looking alarmed, the driver shot me a terrified glance, then put the taxi into reverse, and disappeared around the corner.

"Hey…" I said weakly, trying for a smile, but Bella's face didn't change from her stone cold expression. One of her hands was in a fist by her side, the other curled almost protectively around her baby.

Lyra. I knew everything there was to know about her- having heard it all, every little detail, from Edward.

"_She's so beautiful, just like her mother. I'm so happy, for Bella. It's so wonderful." _Bella having a baby, a life, was what he had always wanted.

I very nearly said this is Bella, then bit my tongue, remembering that she wasn't supposed to know that he had been here.

Forging insolence, I smiled at the baby. "What's her name?"

"Lyra." Bella said stiffly, but I could see some of the hardness in her eyes melt away.

"She's beautiful."

"I know."

"Bella…" I began slowly, but she cut over me.

"What are you doing here. Alice? First Ed…" She winced, swallowed, then carried on. "First _him _you now you. What the hell is your game?"

My face fell. "There _is _no game, Bella." I said quietly.

"Oh yeah?" She scoffed. "Then why, Alice Cullen- are you even here?"

Her words shocked me. I was so used to my old Bella- soft and friendly and warm. Now she was…hard.

"Because we're friends." I said, but Bella just laughed cruelly, the crude sound echoing around the circle of trees.

"Yeah that's really funny, Alice! Friends!_ Friends_ don't leave without a single word. _Friends_ don't disappear off the face of the earth for seven years. _Friends _watch out for each other! So where were you during the last seven years, Alice? Did you have my back? Where you at my wedding when I got married? Where you helping with me during my pregnancy, making it easier? Did you wait outside the door as I gave birth like _friends _do?" Her face crumpled, and suddenly tears were rolling down her cheeks, her face screwed up as she spat out the words, her voice bitter. "Were you there for me to call when Jacob left me? No. You were _never _there. Yeah, maybe seven years ago we were friends. Maybe. I though we were- but I guess you showed me when you left that I never meant a thing to you."

"No!" I gasped, and grabbed her hand- but she winced at my ice cold skin, and I dropped it like it was on fire.

Bella was still shaking with badly concealed sobs that shook through her, releasing all the hurt that she had holed up for the last seven years. "I'm so _angry_!" She cried. "And do you know why? Because no matter how many times I told myself that I didn't care, that you could do what you wanted- I _missed _you, Alice! I missed you every day. And I hate you for that."

Before I knew what I was doing, before I thought it through- I had dashed forward, whisked Lyra away from Bella, then wrapped my arms around my best friend, enfolding her in a hug.

For one second, Bella stiffened, then, with another sob, she relaxed, and her arms went around me too, hugging me like she could never bear to let go.

"I missed you too." I whispered, my voice breaking.

And Bella, too past words, just put her head on my shoulder and let her tears drop down onto my dress as she cried out seven years worth of tears.

_Bella's Point Of View _

The airport was busy.

People pushed and jostled past me, all aiming to catch different flights. Yet another person bashed into me, and I sighed, pulling Lyra closer to me.

Beside me, Alice wound her way through the crowd easily. Anyone who was stupid enough to try to push into her rock solid skin was rewarded with a big bruise.

She brushed her short black hair off her face, and gazed up at the flight board, searching for my o'clock flight to Phoenix.

We'd barely said two words to each other. Alice had been unusually quiet, tiptoeing around me.

When I'd finished shouting, she'd just hugged me. What ever I had been expecting- it wasn't that. I had said such horrible things to her. I wanted her to shout at me too, to yell at me that I was horrible and cruel and unlovable, because then at least I would be able to hate her properly.

But she was just so _nice._

She'd led me through to my cramped kitchen and made me a cup of tea, putting it in front of me and nudging it towards me- but I hadn't taken a sip.

She'd pressed her lips together, her eyes wide with anxiety. Not being able to stand her pitying expression, I had pushed back my chair and stormed upstairs, throwing all my stuff into a black suitcase on wheels. Lyra's little suits and dresses had gone in another bag. I had hesitated other which books to bring. Wuthering Heights? Jane Eyre? Both reminded me much too strongly of Edward, just as they had all the other times I had tried to read them since he had left.

_He had ruined everything._

Suddenly furious with myself for letting him take over my life like that, I had thrown both books carelessly into a hand bag, leaving my water-proof hanging over my bed post. I wouldn't need it where I was going.

Alice drove me to the airport. She had a new car, a flashy bright yellow one with sleek black windows and shiny metal. I couldn't be bothered to look close enough to work out what make it was.

"Still not interested in cars?" Alice smiled, and I span around to find her watching me. I had forgotten how weird it was to be around people who made no noise when they moved.

I was surprised that she had even remembered, but I quickly forced my face back into the poker expression. I shrugged, and said coldly. "I guess some things have to stay the same."

Her smile slid off her face, and I felt bad at once as she held the passenger door open silently for me.

"Over there." Alice muttered in my ear, her cool breath blowing over my face and shocking me back to the present as she gripped my arm and pushed me lightly in the right direction.

Automatically, I shrank away from her cold touch, and she removed her hand at once.

"Sorry." She said.

I shut my eyes, shaking my head. "It's not you, Alice. It's just…_him._"

She understood. I knew she would, and she went to hug me again, but I deliberately pretended I hadn't noticed, and moved smartly away from her, jogging Lyra up and down in my arms, pointing out the notice boards to her as if a one year old would actually care about flight times.

Alice's arms dropped.

"All passengers for the one o'clock flight from Seattle to Phoenix should now be boarding the plane." The cool voice ran out over head.

I glanced at Alice. "That's me then."

"Yep."

We looked at each other for a long moment. Finally_ really_ looked, our eyes meeting as we frowned at one another, trying to work out what was different, what was wrong.

Then Alice's gaze slid down my scruffy jeans and long blue top. She tutted.

"You _really _need to go shopping, Bells." She said, and she sounded so like the old Alice, that for a moment my face split into a smile and I rolled my eyes.

"You're looking a bit worse for wear as well." I teased her lightly.

"Me?" Alice gasped in mock horror. "I don't _think _so. I brought this top in Italy!" She fingered the soft material, then looked up at me, smiling sadly.

"Can I come and see you when you get back?" She asked.

I hesitated, then nodded. "Just…call first, okay? I was a bit…surprised earlier. And, Alice- don't bring anyone else along, will you?"

She knew I was talking about Edward.

With a resigned sigh, and nodded. "Fine. But you two are _meant _to be together." She sulked.

"Yeah. That's what I thought, too." I said quietly, and Alice didn't miss the use of past tense.

"Bye then." She said glumly.

"Bye."

She hugged me awkwardly, trying to out her arms around both Lyra and me at the same time, then gave up and sighed.

I smiled apologetically at her, and started to turn around. I got a meter away before something occurred to me. I span back.

"Alice!" I called, and she turned at once.

"Yes?"

"You're not planning on following me around Phoenix, are you?"

If vampires could have blushed, Alice would have been bright red. She looked so guilty, her eyes darting away from mine.

"Alice!" I hissed. "Don't you _dare!_ I am _sick _of being treated like some over grown toddler! I swear, if I find out you followed me- I will never, ever speak to you again." I paused, then added cruelly. "With seven years practise, it shouldn't be too hard."

Her face fell, and I felt bad at once. "Sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did." She said quietly.

I didn't answer. I couldn't- there was nothing to say. Because she was right.

I had meant every word.


	11. The Plan

**Sorry this chapter took so long to update!! Couldn't find the pen drive that i had saved it on.... check out my friend Sadie's awesome fanfic **

.net/s/4942906/1/Remembering_Me **Very, very good!!** **Please, please, please review my story! Will love you forever if you do!! xx**

_The Plan_

_Chapter Ten_

_Bella's Point of View_

The flight wasn't too bad. It was long though, and Lyra fell asleep as soon as we took off, giving me a lot of time to finally think through the day's events.

I remembered the way Edward has burst into my bedroom earlier, his eyes alight with anger, and it was suddenly hard to breathe, as if there was an elastic band around my stomach, pulling tighter and tighter.

I straightened up in my seat, wriggling around and peering out the window. Somewhere far below, I could see the bright lights of the city glowing out of the darkness, and I knew it wouldn't be long before we landed.

Before I was back in Phoenix.

I sat back in my seat again, and a sudden nervousness twisted in my stomach as my thoughts flickered from Edward for the first time in hours.

I had barely seen Renee since I had moved to Forks. At first, we'd talked on the phone almost every night, and she had been in my every thought- but after I met Edward, the importance of my mother in my life had sort of drifted away. I had hardly noticed it at the time, but when I looked back, I wondered how I _couldn't _have noticed. For seventeen years, she had been like my best friend. The person I could always go to, the only person I could really trust. How could I have just cut her out so easily? And then after _he _had left, I had been too messed up to even think about making the arrangements to go and see her. She had suggested it more than once after hearing my dead, lifeless voice over the phone, but before she could insist- Jacob came. He had woken me up, helped me find myself again.

Renee had finally taken charge, and come over one Christmas just after Jacob proposed to me. After the dinner, we had gone outside and sat on the freezing porch as the snow had fallen past us, and she had asked me, "Are you sure about marrying this boy?"

And I had said no.

One month later, and I was married to him.

Neither of us ever mentioned that conversation again, not when I sent out the invites, or when Renee helped me get ready for the wedding.

She had visited a few times after that, and both her and Phil had come down when I gave birth to Lyra.

I had never been back to Phoenix.

The flight attendant stood up and announced we were about to land, expressing her wishes that we had had an enjoyable flight.

With a sigh, I raised Lyra in my arms, and she jerked awake, her silver eyes blinking blearily. I smiled down at her, suddenly feeling content.

Lyra and me. That was the way it would always be. I would always, always, always be there for her, and I would make sure that no boy ever out her through the pain that Edward put me through.

The plane tipped forward as we landed, and then the doors slid open. I was in one of the front rows, so I grabbed my stuff, and was one of the first out the doors.

The air was unnaturally warm. It felt odd after the near constant blow of cold air in Forks. I smiled again, letting the warmth sink into my skin. The sun was just setting, sending bright glows of deep red light over the cloudless sky.

Edward would never be able to get me here. I was safe. Safe from him _and _Victoria.

I walked into the airport, and spotted Renee and Phil almost at once. Renee ran straight up to me and locked her arms in a chokehold around my neck as Phil whisked Lyra out my arms.

I wrapped my own arms around my mother and hugged her back like I would never let her go. I had missed her. I had really, truly missed her.

"Oh, Bella." She sighed in my ear, her hand stoking my hair. I had told her about Jacob when I had called in the taxi to tell her I was coming.

"It was already ending." I shrugged, wriggling out of Renee's hold to smile a little shyly at Phil.

"Oh don't be silly, Bella!" He boomed a laugh, then his strong arms grabbed me and pulled me close as well.

While Phil ran off to fetch my luggage, Renee dragged me over to a stall and brought me a mug of tea, pressing it into my hands.

I didn't particularly want it. Having tea just meant more time for her to quiz me on Lyra's injuries- and I didn't want to think about that. Not ever again.

"What happened?" Renee asked in a low voice.

"It was my fault." I replied evenly. "She's just starting to walk, and I wasn't watching her properly. I'd just found out about Jake, and I was a bit distracted."

"And what about you, honey?" Renee pressed, her fingers reaching up and tracing the long cut across my cheek. I flinched away from her hand.

"I tripped up, okay? Are you really surprised?" I said, attempting to make her smile, but her face stayed serious, her brow furrowed again.

"You don't believe me?" I said in disbelief, even though I _was _lying. "What, you think Jacob has been beating us up or something?" Again, I was joking, but Renee flushed.

"Mom!" I hissed, suddenly furious. "How can you even think that? Have you _seen _the way Jake looks at Lyra? He's a fabulous father!"

Renee put her hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. I guess you're right. I'm sorry. I just…I'm worried about you, baby. You don't seem like _you._"

I had nothing to say to that.

Phil drove us home in his car. It was the same one that he had had for years, and I relaxed a little as I sat in the back, watching as the familiar landscape rushed by.

Lyra was up in the front seat with Renee. She kept twisting around to see where I was, to see whether I had magically disappeared in the last few seconds, but every time she did it, Renee and Phil cooed loudly, so I think after a while, she was just doing it for the attention.

I stared out the window the entire time. We were driving by a deep forest, and I kept seeing flashes of bright red.

I knew who it was.

I thought of the last time she had attacked- was it only earlier that day? - and a plan started to form in my mind.

Victoria had followed me to Phoenix. She was risking the sun to kill me. That was when I finally realised, finally got it- that she would never stop.

This was no longer just a game, something to do to pass the time- she wanted me dead, and she would never stop until she got that.

I sat very still, waiting for the panic. It came strong at first, washing over me like a tidal wave, dragging me under. My eyes prickled with tears. How would Lyra survive without me?

My plan was clear.

Phil pulled in smoothly outside the house, and I pushed open the door, almost gasping for air as panic throttled me. I wasn't afraid for _me _though- I was afraid for Lyra.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Phil asked with concern as he tugged my suitcase out the boot.

"Fine." I muttered. "Just…feeling a bit sick."

Renee looked at me with concern. "You look pale. Though," She tutted, "That's not exactly surprising, considering you've been living in _Forks _all this time."

I just pressed my lips together. Renee came and linked her arm through mine as she dragged me towards the house.

"Why don't you move back here?" She suggested it casually enough, but I could hear the excitement behind her words. "That would be really nice. You could get out more…I could look after Lyra for you."

"I don't _want _to go out more." I sighed. "Look Ren- I mean, mom- you know how much I'd like to live near you again, but think what it would do to Jake. He'd have to move down, and that would mean dragging Leah out too, and what about his parents? It's too complicated."

Renee digested this in silence.

As soon as she had the door open, I fished Lyra out her arms, and headed for the stairs.

"Bella!" Renee called. "Don't you want something to eat?"

I paused, then shook my head, feeling mean as I watched her face fall.

"You know I don't snack, mom- but I'll be back in a second. I think Lyra need's changing."

Without waiting for a reply, I sprinted up the stairs. I was out of breath by the top, and leant against the wall, my heart beat quick. Lyra squirmed in my arms, wanting to be let down.

I let her crawl her way into my old room- where we would be staying, then picked her up again, holding her in my arms. She cried out, leaning away from me- I was holding her too tight, but I couldn't let go.

My eyes were full of tears. Victoria was coming. I wouldn't let her near my daughter, so I had to go _to _her. I would go back downstairs, and tell Renee and Phil that I wanted to go out for a bit, meet up with some old friends. I would leave Lyra here- then walk until Victoria found me. She would kill me, and it would be painful and terrible- but maybe, just maybe- then she would leave Lyra alone. It was worth a shot, at least.

I brushed my tears aside- I had no use for them- as bent down to kiss my baby's head.

"Lyra," I whispered into her ear, and she giggled as my breath tickled her. "I love you. I love you with all my heart, and all my soul. I love you every day, every moment, every heart beat. Don't forget me."

Then I carefully lowered her into the crib that Phil and Renee had brought in the hope to lure me down here as soon as she had been born.

Then I walked back down the stairs.

"Honey?" Renee called as I strode into the dining room. Phil was sat at the island table, reading a magazine, and looked up as I walked in.

"Going out?" He asked as he glanced at my bag.

I nodded, and looked over at Renee.

"Is that alright? I know I only just got here, and I'm kind of dumping Lyra on you, but…"

"No, it's fine, baby." Renee interrupted, practically choking with satisfaction that I seemed to be taking her advise and was getting out.

I smiled, then, on sudden impulse, went and wrapped my arms around her. "I missed you, mom." I said quietly.

"I know, I know," Renee sighed. "But maybe there will be more visits now?" She hinted.

I smiled and nodded energetically, but on the inside, I was dying- because I knew there would never be another visit.

I turned towards the door, then stopped. "Guys- you don't mind having Lyra, do you?" I asked abruptly.

"No." They shrugged. "She's family."

I nodded. "And family look after each other, right?" I pressed.

Puzzled, the two exchanged a look, then Renee nodded. "Of course. That's what family is for."

I took one last look around the room I had grown up in, waved, - then headed for the door.


	12. Missing

**Okay so i got ike no reviews for the last chapter, so PLEASE REVIEW THIS TIME!!! This chapter is for my awesome friends Phoebe- German Buddy!!- and Izzy who is all ill :( Missing you a lot at school :p**

_Chapter Eleven- Missing _

_Edward's Point of View_

Without Bella to watch, I had nothing to do with myself. You would have thought that time would slip by easily as I had so much of it, but when I was worrying- it felt like time was playing tricks on me, deliberately going slower than usual.

I was so sure that it was Emmet playing some cruel joke, that I ran down to the local shop, and examined their clock as well.

Alice arrived home at about three. She stood nervously in the doorway while I stood staring at her, my mouth open, my eyes wide, sure that she was some hallucination. Because _she _was supposed to be keeping my Bella safe.

"What are you doing here?" I finally whispered as soon as I could move again.

"I can explain, Edward, I really can!" Alice pleaded as she stepped towards me. "It wasn't like I thought it would be, Edward. She was so angry at me, and she wouldn't even speak to me at first. She finally started acting like herself again at the airport and then…then she guessed what our plan was, and made me promise I wouldn't follow her!"

My anger grew with every word. She said them quickly, too fast for a human ear to understand, and they tripped over themselves in their haste to get out.

"And you LISTENED to her?" I yelled, shooting to my feet.

"Yes, I did!" Alice snapped. "I want her to be my friend again!"

"AND HOW DO YOU THINK SHE'LL DO THAT WHEN SHE'S _DEAD?" _I roared and flew towards Alice, but before I could get there, Jasper appeared out of nowhere, crouching in front of Alice, his expression thunderous.

"Calm down, Edward." He said quietly.

"_Calm down?_ Calm DOWN? How do I _calm _down when I know that _Bella _is on her own with a complete maniac psycho _vampire_ after her?"

"She'll be okay." Jasper tried to convince me, but I leant past him to look at Alice.

"Can you tell me that?" I demanded. "Can you tell me truthfully that you know she'll be alright?"

"I…I…I don't know!" She whimpered. I growled, and Jasper shoved me backwards.

"WORK IT OUT THEN!" I roared at Alice, and with a terrified glance at Jasper, she obediently shut her eyes and went still.

_Wow- he's really out of control. _Jasper thought, and then his mind was filled with fearful images of me hurting Alice.

"I_ won't_ hurt her!" I hissed at him.

"You'd _better _not." Jasper replied coldly.

I opened my mouth furiously to reply, but at that moment- Alice's eyes shot open.

I ducked past Jasper and grabbed her arm, holding it too tightly. Jasper was on her other side in a second, his arm winding protectively around her waist.

"What is it?" I demanded, my voice tense with anxiety. "What did you see?"

Alice opened her eyes slowly. Her face was easy to read.

It was an expression of pure horror.

"What have I done?" She whispered.

_Bella's Point of View _

I walked slowly into the town. My heart kept screaming for me to go back, but my head kept me walking. _One foot, then the next. Keep going. Keep walking. _

It was dark by the time I reached town, even though the air was still warm. I walked up and down the high street, letting the car headlights wash over me, lighting up my face for a moment, then dropping away almost as soon as they had come.

I went into a shop and brought some chips, then sat outside, eating them slowly, one chip at a time. When I was done, I licked the salt off my lips, scrunched up the wrapper in my fist, then lobbed it into a bin.

Then I had nothing left to do. It was late, and time had run out. By now, Lyra would be asleep, and Renee would be looking a little anxiously at the clock, wearing the same expression she used to whenever I came home late when I was seventeen.

I walked until I found an alleyway, then strode quickly down it. There was a turning at the end, so I took that, leading myself deeper and deeper into the dangerous back alleyway's of Phoenix.

I walked until I could no longer see a foot in front of me, until I was sure that nobody would ever find my body for weeks- then I finally stopped, leaning against the damp wall. My breathing was too fast, my chest tight.

I felt her before I saw her. My eyes were shut, but I could feel the sudden breath of cold as she appeared out of nowhere.

My eyes opened slowly.

She was stood right in front of me, her face less than a centimetre away from mine, her expression mildly curious.

She stood back a little when I opened my eyes, her arms crossed over her chest.

"You came and found me." She said. She seemed surprised.

I nodded; a sharp jerk of my head.

Victoria put her head on one side. "Listen to your heart fly," She murmured. "Are you afraid?"

There was no point on lying. "Not for me." I whispered.

"What are you scared of?" She asked, prowling around me. "The darkness? The thought of never seeing the sun again, never feeling it warm your skin? Or maybe it's the thought of floating for all eternity, with nothing to hold onto, nothing to bring you back. Just _being _but not feeling, not caring about anything." Her breath blew into my face.

"I'm afraid for what I'm leaving behind." I replied. My voice was even, controlled.

"She'll never remember you." Victoria told me, and we both knew we were talking about Lyra.

I bowed my head. "I know."

A small smile played across her lips. "You interest me, Bella Swan. But not enough to allow me to keep you alive." Her eyes suddenly lit up with anger as her hand shot out and grabbed mine, twisting my arm back against the wall until I cried out.

"I _will _make you suffer!" She growled, then an idea lit her face, as she raised my wrist, examining the thin blue lines of my veins. "I'll see you soon, Bella." She almost laughed, and then, before I could cry out or even conjure up an image of Lyra in my mind, she lowered her lips to my wrist, and a pain shot through me like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was like every nerve, every feeling was alight and burning and it was all I _wanted _for death to come and find me and free me from this misery.

But I knew that that would never happen. Not now. Not ever.

Because Victoria had bitten me.

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!! xxxx**


	13. Heart Beat

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews!! Keep them coming, it makes me write faster, honestly. Every time i read one, i write like another page. My love today goes to my sister Emma who actually thought up this entire plot on a six mile walk, and Lois because we just have such cool R.S lessons. PERSONAL BUBBLE, hee hee Lois xx**

_Heart Beat _

_Renee's Point of View _

It had been three days since I had last seen Bella. My child. My daughter.

Before that, I had not seen her for years- I had got a phone call from her out of the blue less than a day earlier. She'd obviously been calling on a mobile, because her voice was jumping around, cutting out as she lost connection.

"Mum?" She'd called. "Can Lyra and I come and visit you?"

Pleased, I'd agreed gushingly, and checked plane times for her. Phil and I had gone to meet her in the car, and stood in the crowd as the passengers all through the barriers.

I barely recognised them.

Bella was a sickly pale women, with straggly dark hair and scared, wide brown eyes. She had over five bruises that traced their way up her arms. Lyra had been no better. She had looked better fed than Bella, but she had a long cut down her tiny arm that was all stitched up with thin black thread.

Bella's eyes had searched the airport, her arms tightening almost protectively around her baby. When I'd called and waved, she'd met my eyes- then carried on staring at me for a moment. Looking, but not seeing. When I'd called her name, she'd given her head a little shake and waved over, plastering a smile on her face.

I desperately wanted to find out what was wrong with her, but I was too scared to ask. In the car, she'd just sat in silence, her eyes only flickering from the window to glance over at Lyra every few minuets. Whenever she looked at her baby, there was such a reverent love in her eyes. I'd never seen anything quite like it. Bella had pinned everything on Lyra- her life, her heart, her soul…everything that had once belonged to Bella was now Lyra's- but was all that too much to put on a baby's head?

As soon as we'd arrived home, Bella had taken Lyra upstairs and put her to bed, then walked slowly back downstairs, announcing she was going out.

That had been the last time I had seen her.

I'd watched her pull open the door and walk off down the street, her shoulders hunched, her arms locked around her waist, and then I'd waited. I'd expected her to be back in a few hours- but she'd never come. I'd fallen asleep on the sofa waiting for her.

The next day, I searched the town for her. Phil wanted to go to the police, but I hesitated. One of the last things Bella had asked of me was to look after Lyra.

_She's family _I'd said. I'd promised to look after her- and I would do that. If we went to the police, Lyra might be taken off me.

On the third day that Bella had been missing, I woke up in the middle of the night. The darkness was too dense, and there was an eerier silence in the air that made my stomach curl. As soon as I opened my eyes, I was wide awake.

"I'm going to check on Lyra." I whispered loudly to Phil, who mumbled something, then rolled over in his sleep.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, and nearly sprinted across to her bedroom. The window was wide open, the light wind blowing through, freezing the tiny bedroom.

Legs shaking, I stumbled across the room- and looked, horrified, down into the empty crib.

I was too late.

She was already gone.

_Victoria's Point of View_

The child recognised me.

I stood above her crib, staring down at her innocent little face as she awoke. She blinked once, seeming startled to have me stood there, so silently, then her eyes widened, and her bottom lip trembled.

She remembered me alright.

"Shush, baby, shush." I soothed as I slipped my cold arms around her and raised her to me, almost cuddling her. The thought made me feel sick. _I _was nearly cuddling this piece of scum. Bella Swan's baby. But I needed her. She played a vital role in my plan.

I had bitten Bella. I'd spent a few satisfactory minuets watching her scream out in pain, then taken her in my arms and carried her weightless body to an old broken down house. I'd effortlessly pushed aside the huge bolts on the metal gates, and pushed aside the door as if it were nothing more than paper. I'd dumped her on the floor- then watched her.

For two days, I'd watched as my worst enemy withered and screamed as the venom I had interested into her worked its way slowly through her veins, slowly poisoning her blood.

On the third day, her heart rate had started to climb. It was finally time. During the night, I'd run back over her house, and scooped her baby out the crib.

The child moaned, my cold arms raising goose bumps on her skin. I frowned as I heard the old grandmother in the next room stirring awake. She would be in here in a few minuets. I crushed the baby close to me, then pushed open the window, dropping from the three meters fall easily and landing, cat like, with the baby still safe in my arms.

I'd run back to where Bella was, moving easily through the silent sleeping city. Her heart beat was even faster than before, fluttering three times the speed a normal human one went.

It was so nearly time.

There was only one thing left for me to do.

I bent down and dragged my nail across Lyra's arm, reopening the cut that had been stitched up a few days earlier. Blood spilled over, dripping over my hand, and for a moment, my concentration wavered.

_She smelled so good… _I shook my head sharply. I had to stick to the plan. When Bella awoke in about five minuets time, she would be an angry and blood-thirsty vampire. The first thing she would see was her daughter on the floor, with blood dripping down her arm. She wouldn't be able to resist. Bella would kill her own daughter, and then have to live with that guilt for the rest of eternity.

I laid the child on the floor, next to Bella, then reached for the door. As much as I wanted to see Bella kill the brat, the smell of the blood was stifling, and Bella _would _be a newborn vampire which meant strong and ruthless. I didn't want to risk a fight.

With a smile wide on my face, I stepped outside and walked away as silence suddenly filled the air.

Bella Swan's heart beat had stopped.


	14. Raging Fire

_Raging Fire _

_Bella's Point Of View_

_Chapter Twelve _

_The pain was unbearable. Inescapable. Unavoidable. It was everywhere, racing with burning power through my veins, screaming out in anger as it attacked my heart. _

_I knew what was happening._

_My mind was taken over by the pain, unable to function any other rational thought. My legs and arms thrashed out as I screamed, and my back arched, but I barely felt it leave the cold stone floor. Every now and then, I would think that I felt a slight pressure pushing down over my mouth, muffling my screams. My sub conscious wondered if it might be Victoria, but I had no way to tell. Nothing felt cold to me through this blistering heat. I longed for it to stop. I longed for Lyra. And I longed for Edward. I longed for him to come and find me like he used to, the way he had always been there before whenever I had ever needed him. _

_His name was the one that I ended up screaming again and again through the first day. By the second, it had began to mingle in with Lyra's and once, even, my mothers. _

_By the third- I no longer screamed. _

_I just waited. _


	15. Fading

**Phoooeeeebbbeeeeee- THREE DEDICATIONS!!! You know owe me for eternity!! Thank you soooo much to everyone who reviewed last time!! Made me write so much faster!!! Please, please, PLEASE rewiew again!!**

_Fading _

_Edward's Point of View_

_Chapter Thirteen _

"I have to go and find Bella."

"What?" Jasper stared at me. "No! You promised Alice you wouldn't!"

"Well she's not here now, is she?" I said acidly. Alice had slipped out the house an hour or so earlier, keen to escape my glare. Remembering this, Jasper's face darkened.

"A promise is a promise, Edward."

I shook my head in disbelief. "She promised me that she's look after Bella! Remember that, Jasper? Stop being so bloody bias and try to this about this rationally!"

"Rationally?" Jasper repeated. "_You _think rationally. Alice has a vision that Bella is walking off down a dark alleyway, and you immediately have to go running off after her?"

"Pretty much, yeah." I said, standing up and turning away to stare without seeing out the window. The garden was wide and beautiful, Esme's pride and beauty. The house was nicer than the one in Forks had been, too. Everyone thought so…apart from me. I thought back to the vision I had seen in Alice's mind again, and my breathing quickened. Bella had looked so little and helpless, her arms locked around herself as she'd tripped her way down the cobbled path. It was dark, and she was alone. What the hell was she playing at?

"Stupid Alice." I cursed under my breath again, and felt Jasper stiffen behind me. I sighed and, with great effort, turned around.

"I'm sorry, Jasper." I apologised. "I'll say the same to Alice as soon as she gets back. It wasn't fair of me to blame her."

Jasper kept his back to me.

"I…" I continued swallowed. "I just can't stand it, Jaz. I can't stand another _second _of it. Of being away from her. Of having to live through hours, days, months, _years _without her." My voice broke, and I saw the tension in Jasper's shoulders lessen a little.

"When I first burst into that room to save her from Victoria, when she first met my eyes- there was something there."

Jasper turned slowly, and I looked desperately at him. "Don't you see? I _have _to know what that was. What if…what if she could forgive me? I can't let her go, and then live the rest of all eternity wondering what that look was. Please understand. You _have _to."

Jasper sighed and rubbed a hand across his face, his fingers tracing the thin scars on his jaw absentmindedly.

"What are you going to do, though Edward?" He asked. "Search the world for her?"

_If I needed to, _I thought, but shook my head at Jasper. "I _know _where she is, remember?"

"Phoenix is a _big _place." He reminded me.

I stared at Jasper until he met my eyes. "If it was Alice- would you go after her?"

Jasper glared at me. "That's different."

"How? How is it different at all?"

"_I _didn't leave my mate!" Jasper exploded, clenching his fists. A second later, remorse washed off him.

_Edward- I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. _He thought, ashamed.

"Yes you did." I said quietly, steeling myself to look at him. "And you're right. I _did _leave her. I ruined everything. She was the one good thing in my life, and I left her. I won't make that same mistake twice."

Jasper opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, we both froze as the sound of Alice sprinting back towards the house met our keen ears.

She pushed open the front door, and was in my bedroom, beside us, before the door clicked shut a floor below.

"Alice? What is it? Are you okay?" Jasper demanded at once, but she wasn't looking at him.

"Edward. I had another vision." She said. I couldn't read the expression in her face. Her eyes were too bright, her breath coming quicker than usual.

Impatiently, I delved into her mind, and saw her vision. It was blurry and unclear, but I could still make it out as Bella. In her arms, she carried a small bundle which she clutched almost desperately to her chest. I pushed the vision out, looking around at her surroundings. I recognised them with surprise.

I turned on my heel- and broke straight into a sprint.

_Bella's Point of View _

I knew when it was beginning to end.

The pain started to fade from my fingers and toes first. Just a tiny bit, right in the tips, but I still noticed it. At the same time though, the pain seemed to move from there to my throat. Before, it had only been the same ache there as anywhere else, but now it was three times worse than anything else. I was parched, so, _so _thirsty.

The pain in the rest of my body started to shrink back, heading for my heart and throat, which burned all the more fiercely in response.

For a few more agonising minuets, I screamed out as my heart rate started to speed up, racing faster and faster towards its final beat. And then, just as the pain was becoming unbearable- it stopped.

For a moment, the sudden absence of pain was all I could think about- and then my mind stared to wander further. My sub conscious noted the fact that my heart no longer beat, and it awed at the feel of being alive, but having no steady heart beat. When I was human, I had never noticed it, but now it was gone, I almost missed it. Something in me also took in the fact that I could hear everything. _Everything. _I could hear the sound of mouse tail twitching in the foundations of the building, a meter under me. I could hear the constant hum of a bee's wings as it fluttered against a glass window three storeys up in the house next to me. I could hear right in to the city, even though I knew I was nowhere near it. I could hear each individual noise- the slamming of a door, the jangle of keys as somebody cut the engine on their car, the crinkle of a chocolate bar being unwrapped.

And then I opened my eyes.

I only had three thirds of a second to take in the sudden fresh new sight, the way my improved eyes took in every tiny detail, from the individual grain of concrete on the floor beside me, to the glittering dust motes in the air- before them smell hit me.

The smell of blood.

It was over powering, impossible to ignore. It filled the room, and whenever I breathed in, the smell rushed down my throat, enflaming the burn there.

I had the have the blood. I _needed _the blood. It was no longer a choice.

Something buried deep inside my complicated mind hesitated, but that voice was easy to ignore when so many others urged me on.

In one fluid movement, I sprang from lying back down on the hard floor, to sitting in a crouch on the other side of the room. I didn't even marvel at how easy it was to move as a vampire, before my eyes locked in on the only other person in the room.

It was easy to see that my old eyes had never done her justice. I had looked at her then, my baby, my daughter, and called her beautiful- but, really, I'd had no idea what I was on about. The word 'beautiful' implied she was pretty- and she was so, so much more than that. Her hair was short, just reaching by her chin, and it glimmered in the light coming in from the window. The skin on her face ran smoothly, so flawlessly over her pink lips and button nose. I left her eyes for last, because I knew they would be best. They had always been amazing, but now they were heart stopping. Jake calling her 'Silver' had never been an exaggeration, and I could no longer see why I had refused it so many times. Her pupils _were_ a shimmering silver, spiralling softly inwards to a soft black centre, and her eyes were rimmed with long black eyelashes.

My daughter. My baby.

I saw all this in one fraction of a second. For another, I just marvelled- and by the third, my eyes had zeroed in one the blood dripping slowly out the long cut on her arm.

My vampire instincts took over, and I dove towards her at once, my eyes hungry, but mid leap, I realised what I was doing, and twisted away from her, horrified.

I landed on my feet, back pushed up against the wall, on the opposite side of the room. My hand covered my mouth, and eyes wide, I desperately sucked in one last breath as I realised what I had been about to do.

I'd nearly attacked _Lyra. _Jacob's Silver. Our _baby! _Horror washed through me, strong and insistent, claming my attention.

I was a _monster. _

My movement had attracted Lyra's attention, and she twisted towards me.

"Mama!" She moaned, and tears filled in her eyes as she stretched her arm, reopening the cut. When I didn't move, the tears started to fall over, dripping down her cheeks. I had never ignored her before, and I couldn't stand to do it now.

_I wouldn't hurt her, I wouldn't hurt her, I wouldn't hurt her… _I repeated my mantra to myself over and over again as I slowly lowered my hand, and sucked in a hesitant breath. Her blood hit me, just as strong as before, and for a moment it carried me, and I took an involuntary step forward, but then I shook myself, and was in control again. I could do this. I _would _resist her.

I took a deep breath, feeling the blood burn my throat, but this time, I stayed in control. I knew this wasn't normal. I knew that even for the Cullen's, and Jasper most of all, refusing human blood was difficult, and, in some cases- impossible. So how was it possible that I could be stood here now, a new born vampire of not even a full two minuets, already breathing in human blood that was being spilled right in front of me- and being able to refuse?

I wondered suddenly what would have happened if it _hadn't _been my daughter there. If it had just been some random person, who I had never met before. Would I have been able to refuse their blood then?

My truthful answer send a shiver down my spine.

No.

"Shush, Silver, shush." I murmured, and she turned towards my voice, her good arm stretching out to me. Moving slowly as not to scare her, I reached down, and picked her up.

She had always been light, but now she felt weightless in my arms. I realised with a jolt just how very breakable she was. I handled her carefully, holding her a little away from my stone cold form, but she snuggled nearer, resting her head on my chest, seeming not affected by the cold.

I held my breath, and reached down to touch my lips to the top of her head, my eyes closing.

_What the hell was going on here?_

I was a vampire. I was sure of that much. That, and the fact that Victoria had changed me. My human memories were weak and blurred, but deadly accurate.

So far, I'd been carefully avoiding any contact with Silver's cut, but then I raised her arm, my hard fingers barely touching her, and looked at it. The stitches had been ripped out, slitting the skin back open just as it was starting to heal, in a nearly identical cut. It was obvious that Victoria had harmed my child for the second time.

I felt a sudden burst of anger for the psycho vampire, and slammed my fist into the wall, leaving a dent in the concrete.

"Damn." I muttered, looking at it, but my eyes strayed back to Silver quickly. What was I going to do? I couldn't take her to a hospital. All that blood…I swallowed against the longing in my throat, and continued down my line of thought. I couldn't go back to Renee's. How would I explain first mine, then Silver's disappearance, and, of course, my sudden blood red eyes, white skin and cold touch? But Silver's cut needed seeing to. I couldn't do it myself. If I got too close, who knew what could happen? I could _kill _her!

"Shit." I swore, and the word sounded odd in my velvet tone. Thiswas a _serious _example of my bad luck.

I knew what I had to do. It would have taken my human mind ages to think it up, but my vampire one was moving at three times the pace.

I was a newborn vampire with a bleeding baby. I needed help from _other _vampires. Advice. Someone to look at Silver's cut for me. I only knew of two vampire clans. The Cullen's and I shuddered at their mere name- or the Denali's.

_Tanya's _family.

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	16. Race Against Time

**Sorry this chapter is so short. it was either just updating this, or waiting for a long one, so.... I really wanna write another fan fic, but i've got no idea's, so if anybody's got anybody's got any ideas they'd like me to write, drop me a message. **

**How would people feel about one on Renesmee? Started one on that, but not sure about it. **

**Thanks for all the reviews!!!**

_Chapter Fourteen_

_Edward's Point of View_

_Edward. Edward, slow down. _Carlisle's thoughts were as calm and efficient as ever, but instead of this being a comfort to me as it normally was, now, it just infuriated me.

I pushed myself harder, sprinting even faster.

_Edward please listen! We all know that you are worried Bella, about what Alice has seen, but you've got to remember- so are we!_

That slowed me down. I _did _sometimes forget that I was not the only one who cared for Bella's welfare. When we had left, Esme had mourned for her as if one of us had gone missing. Alice had trailed miserably around the house, with no one to nag about shopping, and Emmet had had to resort to mercifully teasing Jasper since Bella was no longer around to be the centre of that little pleasure.

"Victoria is on the loose!" I growled, knowing full well that he would be able to hear me.

_Yes, _Carlisle agreed, _And don't you think you'd have a better chance of catching her if we were all there with you?_

"I'm not aiming to catch her." I lied. After saving Bella, ripping Victoria's ignorant head off her shoulders was next on my things- to- do list. I started to run again, my anger fuelling me.

_Edward- STOP! _I had never, ever heard my farther raise his voice or shout in all the years I had lived with him, so it was in pure shock that I finally skidded to a halt.

In less than a minuet, he was at my side.

"I'm going _alone._" I hissed at him once I had got over the initial shock.

Carlisle blinked at me, then frowned. "What's happening to you, Edward?" He asked, almost sadly as he gazed at me with his warm golden eyes. They were too kind, too sympathetic- I dropped his gaze. "What are you doing to yourself? Ever since we left, it's like you've been shutting off from everyone else, creating a circle around yourself that only one person can ever venture across."

I didn't answer. I knew he was right.

"Before you left Bella," Carlisle whispered, "As a family, we were a unit. Where ever one of us went, we all followed. You used to like that. You used to like _us. _Now all you do is sit up in your room, snapping at any of us if we dare to interrupt you."

I stared at my father. He had never been this honest, this open before. This cruel.

"And it's time it stopped." Carlisle said firmly. "Either you are part of this family, or you're not. But you can't just keep pushing us away like this." He clapped a hand down on my shoulder and leant forward, talking earnestly. "Let us help you, Edward. You blame us for everything that has gone wrong in your life. You blame me for changing you, you blame Jasper for nearly attacking Bella that day, and you hate the rest of us for being happy when you can never be without _her_. We understand. You got a taste of that happiness, of that love, and too loose it must be unbearable- but you're keeping us out. You need to set your heart free, Edward. It's been caged for too long."

I touched my empty chest. "I don't have it anymore." I looked up at my father. "It's with Bella. It belongs to _her. _But it's time I went and got it back." There was a long silence as I thought of the trip ahead. What if I ran into Victoria? Then Emmet could help me with his strength. What if the Denali's didn't want me? Carlisle was friends with them, he could say it was a favour to him. And Alice seemed to be the only one who had even got close to breaking through to Bella.

What ever I did and however I phrased it, my conclusion was clear.

I needed my family. I had always needed them, but Carlisle had been right. I'd been shutting them out because they had what I believed I could never have again, and I resented them for that.

But not anymore.

Bella had always been a blessing, not a curse. And I would make sure it stayed that way.

"Fine. I…I'm sorry. I just…" I looked up at my father with anguished eyes. "What am I going to do if she…" I gulped. "If she…dies.?"

"Nobody is going to die." Carlisle said firmly.

A moment later, Jasper and Emmet skidded into the clearing, quickly followed by Alice and Esme. Rosalie was taking longer deliberately, and I clicked my tongue impatiently, but when I caught Emmett's expression, I attempted to smoother out my own.

A few moment's later, Rosalie strolled into view, and I started running again. Normally, when we all ran, I'm the fastest by far, speeding ahead- but today, we were all almost neck and neck. As I glanced around at my family's alert expressions, I realised just how much Bella had meant to them. She had been my true love- but she had also been Alice's best friend, Emmet and Jasper's sister, and Esme and Carlisle's daughter. The only person she had not touched in any way was Rosalie.

Long, long ago, pretty much just after I'd met Bella, I'd once collected her truck for her. On the seat, I'd propped a piece of paper saying; _Be Safe._

I hoped to God that she remembered that now.

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	17. Lyra's Needs

**I need lots and lots of love in reviews because i feel terrible right now. Got braces yesterday and it KILLS!! Totally sucks. :( **

_Bella's Point of View_

Life is tough when you're on your own. Life is cruel when your true love leaves you. Life is lonely when your best friend falls in love with something else.

And life is pretty damn hard when you're a blood thirsty, new born vampire with a bleeding daughter.

I didn't need to breathe. I knew that already from my months of quizzing Edward, but he'd always said it was uncomfortable not to.

I finally understood what he was on about.

It was like all my senses had been muted. When I breathed, I could taste the scent of the air on my tongue. Odd smells alerted me of danger, delicious ones led me to my dinner… Holding my breath as I scooped Lyra up in my arms, holding her out away from me, made me feel oddly vulnerable, though the idea that I would ever again be called _vulnerable _was almost laughable.

Lyra didn't like being so far away from me. She struggled, kicking angrily, though her legs felt as light as feathers to my rock solid skin.

My throat burned with such burning thirst. It was like a fire was licking at the insides of my throat, refusing to be muted. There was only one thing that cold ever make it go away- but that was the exact thing that I was trying to refuse so hard.

"Shush, Lyra, shush." I murmured to her, as I tentatively sucked in another breath. It burnt even worse, but it was controllable.

Carefully, I drew Lyra closer to me, tucking my arms around her too fragile body.

"I'll make you safe again." I promised her, my breath no more than a whisper in the silent air.

I glanced up. There was a big glass window on one side of the wall. I rested my hand lightly against the glass, my skin barely touching it, then exerted a tiny amount of pressure.

At once, the glass shattered, and toppled to the floor, a million little pieces dancing their way across the room.

Lyra jumped and whimpered.

"Nothing, baby," I assured her. "It's nothing."

Then, I leapt nimbly up and out the window, the rushing air temperature-less against my face.

I landed silently in the street outside, a couple of meters away from the building. Glancing back, I saw that the house was old and broken down, surrounded by others that looked as if they were in exactly the same state.

I didn't want Lyra to stay another single second in this dump.

I set off at a run, not as fast as I knew I could go, but faster than an ordinary human. Running was effortless. I waited for the burn in my muscles, the shortness of breath that I knew should come- but all I felt was the gain in speed.

I sped down the thin alleyways, only stopping once when I glanced to the side, to spot my reflection in a window. I barely recognised myself. My skin was icy white, my face suddenly perfect. Gone were the flaws that I had had all my life.

It felt odd to see myself, and not recognise my face.

And the eyes. They were a deep violent red. The colour of blood.

I suddenly felt sick, and tore my eyes away from the window, turning to look at Lyra instead.

She wriggled in my arms, stretching out her good arm to the ground, but I held her fast as questions span through my mind.

_When had she last eaten? When had she last drank? Last slept? Had her nappy changed? _

I sighed heavily. I needed to go back into the local town and find some sort of supermarket. I glanced around, up at the sky, trying to work out what time it was.

It couldn't be too late- eight am, maybe? The sky was already a deep blue, and I could already feel the temperature beginning to rise.

"Come on, honey." I said to Lyra, trying to sound upbeat. "Shall we go and get some breakfast?"

She gurgled happily in response.

A few minuets later, we arrived in the town. I glanced around. My throat went wild, the flames clawing their way upwards. I sucked in a breath, then set off at a sprint, using vampire speed, down the street. I dashed in to the big supermarket, and was out a few seconds later, my hand suddenly clutching three jars of baby food set with a spoon, and a bag full of all the stuff I needed to change Lyra's nappy.

A women who was getting her trolley looked at me a little oddly as I stood in the shadows of the super market, probably wondering where I had come from so fast. I shot her a weak smile, then started off down the street, forcing myself to walk at a normal pace.

Everything in me, my mind, my head and my throat was screaming at me to turn back. _One women! She was just one women! _

I slowed down, giving in, them shook myself, horrified. What was I doing? I couldn't kill! I _wouldn't _kill somebody just because they happened to be there at the wrong time! What if she had a husband? A kid?

As soon as I was out of sight, I set off at a run. It was odd, but even when I was running at such speed, nothing blurred. Everything was just as sharp ands defined as it normally was. I saw every thin vein on every leaf, every leg on the smallest centipede that crawled its way across my path as I entered a forest some three miles away from the town centre.

My throat was still burning horribly, getting worse and worse. I stuck my arms out in front of me, letting my mere touch demolish the trees as I flew past. Leaves tangled in my air and their long fingers ripped my dress, tearing gaping holes in the fabric.

Lyra started to cry as they tore at her too, her scream echoing around, over and over again. The sound drilled into my mind, taking over, until I finally skidded to a halt, yanked her away from me, and dropped her on the ground. She sat there for a moment, her cries ceasing as she took in the sudden turn in surroundings- then she started to scream again.

"Oh for Gods sake!" I yelled. "I'm trying! I'm trying my bloody best here! Would it _kill _you to just shut up for once in a while?"

My throat was still burning, a desperate fire that was taking all my self restraint to ignore, and I was still getting used to hearing _everything_. It was enough to drive a women crazy!

As soon as I stopped shouting, Lyra froze. Her bottom lip wobbled as she gazed at me, her eyes hurt and still shimmering with tears.

I envied her that. I envied her _everything. _I just wanted to be her age again, to not have to worry about anything. About love, about hurt. To rely on one person so completely again to give me anything I needed. I wanted to just sit down and _cry. _But I couldn't. I never could.

Lyra reached for her, her arms straining, but I flinched back. I was already having a hard time dealing with her blood. I wouldn't be able to bear it if she was too near to me…

Hurt flickered in her eyes as her arms dropped, and she started to cry again. I turned away form her and put my fingers in my ears, but the sound still wriggled its way in. I had never left Lyra crying before, and it killed me to do it now- but there was no way on earth that I would ever trust myself to go nearer to her than I needed to be in my state.

I gingerly picked her up, holding her now weightless body away from me, and started to run again.

The faster I could reach the Denali's, the better.

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	18. The Denali's

**Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry about the long wait for this chapter, and i also apoligise before hand, because the next wait is going to be even longer! My computer has broken, i just managed to get on now while my dad was backing stuff up, and then he is going to take it into work to fix! :( Review!!!**

_The Denali's _

_Edward's Point of View _

It took just over a day to reach the Denali's. It was early when we arrived, three or four am, and the sun was just coming up.

As we stepped out of the shadows of the trees that had been our neighbours for the past day, our skin startled to sparkle like a thousand diamonds. _Blood _diamonds. Bella had once called me beautiful as I'd sat, bathed in the rare sun in Forks, in front of her. How wrong she had been. I had often wondered, as I looked back, that if she'd known what I would be doing to her less than a year later- would she still be sitting next to me at such ease? Would she still be smiling at me with those soft chocolate brown eyes? The answer was clear.

No.

She would be running, screaming, in the opposite direction.

_What are you thinking? _

I looked up at the sound of Jasper's voice, to find him watching me intently. I realised that I must have been sending off waves on waves of depression.

I met his gaze for a moment, then shook my head sharply.

_Bella? _He guessed.

I nodded curtly.

_I understand, Edward. I know what you are going through. I-_

"You don't." I said, and when I spoke my voice was cold and expressionless. I remembered my promise to Carlisle, that I would try to stop being so angry, and made a conscious effort to calm myself.

The others looked up, obviously wondering what Jasper could have thought to make me sound so detached.

_Do you hate me, Edward?_

I carefully considered my answer before replying slowly and stiffly, "No. You are my brother."

Jasper narrowed his eyes at me, and absentmindedly ran a hand through his tangled hair. _I wish I'd never hurt her. _Even through his thoughts, the words were tortured.

I turned and looked at him fully for the first time. My eyes searched his face, looking for something, even though I wasn't sure what. Finally, I dropped my eyes, then whispered, "Me too. Me too, Jasper."

Then I stepped away from him, stepped away from them all, and started to walk quickly towards the Denali's home. It was a big house, even bigger than the one we'd had in Forks, with a grand wall running all the way around it, and a huge garden. I could hear the families quizzical thoughts as they heard us approach.

_The Cullen's? _Eleazer wondered.

There was a big padlock on the huge front gate, but I broke it away with a small twist of my fingers.

Carlisle tutted when he caught up with me and looking at the ruins which I turned to dust with no effort at all. "We are _guests _here, Edward. Please remember that." He reminded me in a low voice, then walked past me, up the drive, to knock on the black door.

Less than a second later, the it swung open, and Eleazer stood on the threshold, his expression curious. "Ah! Carlisle!" He crowed, stepping forward to hug his old friend briefly, then peering past him, at the rest of us. "I see you brought your family." There was a definite curiosity behind his words now.

"Well let them _in _then!" Carmen's voice floated forward as she reached past her husband and pulled open the door, smiling at us all. "Welcome to our home."

I didn't think that welcome was the right word. The house was dark and shadowed inside, nothing like the bright whites that Esme normally chose to decorate our own home with.

Carmen and Eleazer stood back to let us all gather inside, then hesitated.

Carlisle smiled ruefully. "You are wondering why we are here?"

Carmen bit her lip. "Not that we are not pleased to see you, it's just a…surprise, that's all." She looked up. "It's been so long."

Carlisle smiled at her reassuringly. "And so naturally you are curious to why we have just turned up so out of the blue." He said lightly, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Naturally." Eleazer agreed gruffly.

"It's a long story." Carlisle warned.

"Lucky we have plenty of time, then." Carmen joked, and we all laughed politely, though the same vampire we-have-eternity joke had been said so many times that I don't think anyone found it the slightest bit funny anymore.

"Would you care to come through to our main room?" Eleazer offered, and Esme muttered thanks, then filed us through. I barely took in the large, but dark room, so similar to the hallway. There was a window in the corner, and I strode straight over to it, peering out.

_I never said I knew what time she would be coming. _Alice warned me with her thoughts, but I didn't answer her, keeping my eyes fixed on the track leading up to the house outside.

Suddenly, a pair of thin white arms wound around my waist, and cool breath flittered across my cheek as the words, "Looking for me, Eddie?" were whispered silkily into my ear.

My muscles stiffened and my hands clenched as I turned stiffly, and glared down at the beaming person beside me.

"Hello again, Tanya," I said.

_Be _nice, _Edward. _Esme thought, and the word _sweet _flickered across her mind as she smiled at Tanya.

I couldn't help growling a little. Tanya's face lit up as she linked my arm through hers, and flashed a crooked smile in Emmett's direction. "Oooo! Feisty, isn't he? Just the way I like them."

As Emmet boomed a laugh and winked at me, the door was pushed back open, and Irina and Kate appeared, their arms linked through each others. They both waggled their fingers in our direction, seeming not surprised by our sudden presence. They must have heard our voices coming back from wherever they had been.

"The story?" Eleazer said eagerly. Carlisle, by force of habit, sat down on the low sofa and locked his hands together before beginning to speak. He kept the story simple, just saying that I had lost someone very important to me, and had been told that they would be passing by near here. Everybody else seemed to buy the story, and shrugged, but Tanya's eyes narrowed.

"So, Eddie lost somebody…"

"Actually," I cut in loudly, "It's Edward."

Tanya threw me a smile over her shoulder. "Whatever, Eddie. But let me get this straight. _He _looses somebody, and you _all _have to come to retrieve her?" She raised her eyebrows and flicked her hair. "I mean, don't get me wrong or anything- it's sweet, but Eddie's a big boy. Surely he could manage this trip on his own?"

There was a long silence following her words. Carlisle looked impressed. He nodded at her, then said calmly. "I see you have spotted the rather major hole in our story, Tanya. Well done." He praised.

There was along silence.

"Well?" Eleazer said, a little rudely. "What is it that you feel you can't tell us, Carlisle."

Carlisle turned, and I felt his eyes on me as he spoke to me through his mind.

_Do you want to tell them about Bella?_

I sighed and pulled my arm smartly out of Tanya's clinging grasp. "Carlisle told it wrong." I said brusquely. "Bella isn't just _someone. _She's…she's everything. She's the reason the sun comes out, the reason I was ever born, the reason I was every turned into a vampire. I was, still am, _meant _to be with her."

"And she left you?" Tanya said, sounding amused.

_Never hit a women, never hit a women. _I chanted inside of my head. I guess that rule applied to everyone- even stupid, stuck up, arrogant vampires who were practically indestructible anyway.

"What did you do, run over her cat?" Carmen joked, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

"No. I…I broke her heart." I whispered.

"How?" Kate said eagerly.

"I left her."

A long silence followed my words.

"_What?" _Irina said blankly. "But I thought you just spent about an hour telling us all just how great she was!"

"I know, I know." I groaned. "But it wasn't safe. _I _wasn't safe."

"How can a vampire not be safe?" Carmen laughed. "What a ridiculous idea!"

The silence tensed at her words. There was another beat of pure silence, then Tanya gasped as her hand dashed to her mouth and she turned to grin wildly at me.

"You fell for a HUMAN!" She screamed, then bent over, gripping her stomach as she laughed.

I stared at her coolly.

"Yes." I said, in as much of a dignified tone that I could muster. "Yes- Bella was a human. And I loved her. And…now she's in trouble."

Everyone fell silent again as they stared at me.

"Do you know of a vampire named Victoria?" Carlisle asked quietly. I growled loudly at her name.

Eleazer frowned. "Yes, I think so. Part of the American Nomads? Sweet girl with lots of red hair?"

_Sweet? _Did he just say SWEET? Jasper felt the rolls of anger washing off me, and sent me an alarmed look.

_Want me to clam you down?_

"I'm good." I growled as I stalked towards Eleazer. "That bitch is the person after Bella." I hesitated. "Well, Bella and her daughter."

That cracked Tanya up again. "Wait, wait- hold on here." She grinned, gasping for air. "Your true love, who you left to protect- has a _daughter_?"

I glared coolly at her, but she wasn't done yet.

"What else does that girl have hidden up her sleeve? A husband?" She joked.

"Well…" I said awkwardly. "Not after the divorce comes through."

Tanya screamed with laughter. "Oh my God, Eddie!" She cried. "I totally underestimated you! Everyone said you were a right bore, but you are _so funny! _Ha- a husband _and _a kid!" She thumped me hard on the arm in what I think was supposed to be a reassuring manner. "Good luck with that then, Eddie!"

Suddenly her mood changed as her stance became inviting. She leant into me, her breath fluttering across my face. "Well if it turns out that Bella had another couple of hundred kids and a few more husbands- you know that my offer will _always _stand."

I grimaced. "Thanks."

"Pleasure." Tanya replied as she ran her hand down the length of my arm. I felt sick. Had I just not _told _her how in love with Bella I was? It if wasn't for the fact that I was hoping to stay in her home, I would have ripped her arm off right then.

Instead, I stepped smartly away from her. "I'm going out for a hunt." I muttered, then pushed open the window and leapt out of it, deciding the door was too far away. With Tanya around, _anything _could happen in that short stretch of hall.

_Come soon, Bella love. _I thought to myself as I threw one last look down the empty track, then set off at a run straight back into the woods.

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	19. Bella's Arrival

**Thanks as always for all the lovely reviews!! My computer's hanging on so far, which is suprising. Won't be updating next week because I'm going on holiday! :D HAPPY EASTER!!!!!! **

_Alice's Point of View_

We smelt the blood before we saw her.

One minute, we were all talking and laughing, relaxed and happy- the next, everyone was tense, their muscles clenching down as the first wave of the mouth watering blood washed over us.

Carlisle was the only one who didn't react, but his eyes were trained on Jasper, watching as he clenched his fists down on the table, battling against all his natural instincts.

I was at his side in a moment, my hand winding around his waist. He glanced up at me, pressing his lips together and gripping my hand tightly.

"Is it Bella?" Emmet asked.

I shook my head. "No. She smells too different."

Jasper winced as the sweet smell circled around the room. "Sure, Al?" He gasped, "There's definitely something there that smells like Bella."

I sniffed the air again. He was right. It was there, an underlying smell that was defiantly Bella. I frowned. Who _was _it?

"Her daughter?" Esme suggested, answering the unspoken question that all of us were wondering.

I shook my head at once, glad to be confident about something again. "No way. There's no way on earth that Bella would be anywhere where Silver isn't." I took another sniff at the air. "And, believe me, I would be able to smell Bella if she was here."

Everyone nodded in agreement. After Edward, I was the one most immune to her blood.

Tanya darted on light feet over to the window, then glanced back over her shoulder with a little grin. "Well whoever it is is heading this way!" She trilled. I started to walk move towards her, but before I could- the front door bell rang for the second time that day.

For a moment, we all froze, each one of us looking at each other- then I broke the spell and darted out the living room, into the hallway- and pulled open the front door.

The blood was the first thing that I registered, but my sub conscious only had a second to reel back from that before my eyes flashed to the girls shocked face- and my own mouth fell open.

It was Bella.

Her dark hair was matted and tangled around her face, her thin, light summer clothes were ripped almost to shreds and there were long smudges of dirt across her bare arms, which were cradling a screaming Silver.

But that's not what shocked me most. Not seeing Bella turn up so suddenly, not even the state she was in. What made my mouth fall open, and my legs to stumble backwards of their own accord- was her eyes.

They were a bright, vibrant, blood red, standing out against her ice pale complexion.

It was clear, unmistakable- Bella Swan was a vampire. And she was _beautiful! _

I could hear my family gasping behind me, feel the Denali's curious stares on the back of my neck, but I never ripped my eyes away from Bella's, which were just as wide with surprise as mine were.

"You!" She cried, her tone venomous.

I opened my mouth to reply- when the front door was pushed open again, and a deep masculine voice said, "Bella?"

Edward was home.

_Bella's Point of View_

My mind was in shock. For the first time since turning into a vampire, my brain wasn't thinking about a hundred million things at once- just one, repetitive question that was bouncing around my head, demanding an answer.

_What was Alice Cullen doing here?_

I raised my eyes to look past her, to where the rest of my lost family stood, their eyes wide with surprise. For a moment, I wished furiously that I had Edward's power of mind reading.

Then something clicked. Where _was _Edward?

Ironically on cue, the front door was pulled back again, and then that same, velvet, breath taking, _beautiful _voice spoke my name.

And that was when I realised it was a bad idea.

It was in that exact moment that I realised what a terrible, terrible idea it had been to come here. Of _course _Alice would see me arriving! Of _course _Edward would be the first person she told and then-

And it was there that my trail of thought ended abruptly. Because then there was another thought in my head- _so what?_

What would it matter to Edward, to Alice- that I was here? Why would they, they all, bother to come all the way out here just to see me?

Or maybe I was just being self centred. Maybe this was just some sort of terrible coincidence. Was this karma paying me back for shouting at Silver earlier? If so, I thought that was pretty rich considering I never got praised for managing to restrain from killing that women.

"Bella?" The voice said again behind me. My eyes flickered shut for a moment and I sub consciously hugged Lyra closer to my body, though her heat made my throat burn up suddenly again.

A moment later, he had darted around me, and was stood right in front of me, his expression a mixture of disbelief and happiness. It was evident that he wasn't surprised to see me, which meant I was right about Alice tipping him off, but then why did he have to look so damn pleased to see me?

Then his smiled started to fade as he properly took in my appearance. His expression turned from happiness to horror in less than a second as his eyes roamed freely over my blood red eyes and pale skin, so identical to his own. I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that I had turned myself into a vampire then come looking for him because I missed him _that _much. He was contemplating having to spend the next hundred years with me tagging along everywhere he went.

If I had been seventeen again, and human- I would have blushed, but now, I just managed to take a deep steadying breath. Might as well set him free. Do it now, before he does it later.

"Get away from me." I said, my voice deadly quiet, and as the words came out my mouth in an unfamiliar sound, I realised just how true those words were. I _did _want him away from me. I wanted him miles and miles away. I wanted him to leave and never come near me or Lyra ever again.

We were better off with him gone. Me, Jake and Lyra.

Hurt flickered across his face as he held up his hands much like a criminal did when he had realised he had been caught out. He took a cautious step towards me.

"I said, _get away from me_!" I was shouting before I knew it. My right hand held Silver steady while the other one flew out and grabbed the nearest thing to me- a small table with a plant on it- and threw it with all the force I could muster at Edward.

He leapt aside just in time, and the table hit the back wall, leaving a dent. One of the Denali's, the older women, gasped, but the younger one didn't move. Her eyes were on me, and she looked amused.

I knew at once that she was Tanya.

"Okay, okay- I'm sorry!" Edward said hastily, then glanced behind him for help.

At once, Carlisle stepped forward as Edward straightened up, his anxious eyes never leaving mine as he brushed pieces of wood from his clothes.

"Bella?" Carlisle said quietly. "Bella? Can you calm down, please?"

I staggered towards him, panic blurring my thoughts. "I- I need…I need HELP!" I cried, thrusting Silver forwards so he could see her bleeding arm. His eyes widened in alarm, and he reached out to take her at once, but he was unfamiliar, and Silver started to bawl, her little hands clutching for me.

At once, I brought her back to me as I slipped down the wall into a heap on the floor, pressing my lips into her hair. My thirst was maddening- it was driving me crazy.

"Carlisle!" Edward said, sounding alarmed, and Carlisle stepped forward, but I suddenly saw him as a predator, out to hurt my baby, and I leapt back to my feet, holding out a hand to stop him.

"Don't." I said, and my tone was suddenly begging. "Don't take her away from me!"

I could feel the silent presence of the rest of the Cullen's, feel their sad eyes on me, but I wouldn't look at them. To look, would be to remember. And to remember would be to give in.

"She's hurt, Bella." Carlisle said softly. "She needs help." He shrugged. "It's either this or taking her to the hospital."

His words brought on a mental reel of images- people dying, crying, bleeding. No matter how crazy I was, I knew that the hospital was bad.

"Is she not okay?" I choked.

"She will be." He was avoiding the question as he knelt on the ground and slowly reached his arms out to me.

I flinched away, and he fell back at once.

"Carlisle…" Esme murmured, and her tone was layered with fear. _Fear? _I looked up at her, confused- and that was when I caught sight of myself in the long, full length mirror. I looked terrible, my blood red eyes sparkling almost as if I was crying, with huge black bruise like marks underneath them. But even worse- was Lyra. She looked too thin, her face drawn and red and blotchy with tears, her clothes ruined, her skin muddy.

And she was crying. How could I have not been able to hear her cry?

My hand went clumsily to her head, only to stroke back her hair, but as soon as I touched her, applied even the lightest pressure, she started to scream- and I removed my hand at once, dithering over her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I sobbed without crying, then raised her carefully so I could kiss her fragile head. "It's alright, baby." I whispered, the sobs gone as suddenly as they had come. "It's all alright now. You'll be okay."

And then I raised her carefully and slid her tiny little form into Carlisle's outstretched arms. He cradled her close for a moment, looking down into her face- then glanced back up at me. "Thank you." He said simply.

"Save her." I replied, then shut my eyes as he stood up and walked out of the room.

"Bella?" I heard Edward's voice, bleating my name in that annoying fashion again, and then footsteps, coming towards me.

"Give her space, Edward." Esme whispered. "Maybe Alice should…"

"No." Edward replied quietly. "It's got to be me."

And then arms were winding hesitantly, comfortingly, around my waist as he pulled me close. Giving in, I slipped down onto the floor again, and he came with me, his chin resting on the top of my head, his hand stroking my hair out of my face, his mouth whispering my name over and over again.

Almost like he was glad I was here.

In a flash, I was back in the hospital where he had hugged me then, held me close- just like then, this felt so easy, so natural, so _real, _that it was easy to pretend. It was so easy to just relax against his body and fit against him in our embrace, because no matter what anyone said, no matter how much time passed, we still fitted together like two pieces of the same puzzle.

Except all the other parts were still missing.

I pushed the last thought out of my head as his lips pressed down onto my forehead and my eyes slipped shut.

I don't know how long we sat like that, his arms cradling me, rocking me slowly, stedily from side to side, his lips softly kissing my hair- before I felt Esme's cool touch on my arm.

I glanced up, my eyes opening. "Is Lyra okay?" I demanded at once. It was good to see Esme again. While I was so busy missing Edward, I had not realised what a hole in my life Esme and the rest of the Cullen's had left. When I looked at her, it was like having another mother.

Esme nodded. "I'm sure she'll be fine, honey. Now, how much have you drunk so far?"

"Drunk?" I repeated, my head still fuzzy and reeling with the comforting news that Esme thought Lyra would be okay.

"Blood- wise."

Oh. Of course. I thought back over the last few days, then shook my head. "Nothing."

Edward pushed me away suddenly, sitting back so he could stare at me. "_Nothing?" _He repeated incredulously.

I shook my head. "No, I just…"

"But you've been carrying Lyra." He interrupted, still frowning. "Who's bleeding. Pretty heavily, I might add."

"Will she be okay?" I panicked again for a moment, but Edward just rolled his eyes, then leant forward.

"_Focus, _Bella. How did you _manage?" _

"I just did." I replied, feeling confused. So I hadn't turned into a cold blooded murderer quite yet. So what?

"Bella, this is amazing. Quite extraordinary." Edward murmured. "Most new born vampires can't go a couple of hours without drinking _something, _and I think even one of us would go mad carrying a bleeding human."

"But she's my daughter." I frowned.

"That wouldn't matter to a normal vampire." Esme said patiently.

I pounced on the word _normal. _"You mean I'm weird?" I said, sounding whiny. "I always _knew _there was something wrong with me!"

I heard Emmett titter a laugh, and Edward pulled me back into his arms, comforting again.

"Not _weird._" He corrected. "Amazing, maybe."

And for a moment, I was seventeen again. Emmet teasing me, Edward comforting me, and Esme looking at me like I was another daughter. I knew that that was my moment, right then, to pull away, and save myself later- but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't tear my heart out my chest and stamp on it all over again.

So I carried on my game, my pretending, even knowing that it would kill me later, no matter what anyone said about vampires being almost impossible to kill.

To give him credit, Edward was playing very well as well, keeping up a good, pleasant smile on his face, keeping his hands always on mine, as if he had missed my presence…

"Do you want to go hunting?" He murmured into my hair.

For a moment, I was torn. _YES, _my throat shouted manically, but my heart stayed here with Silver. I didn't answer, dithering.

"Lyra's in safe hands." Esme said, noticing my hesitation. "If you really want to help her, you need to go out and drink something, clean yourself up."

"Okay." I agreed reluctantly, then pulled myself away from Edward as I stood up. He refused to let any distance between us thought, his fingers sliding between mine, keeping us linked.

Esme was still looking at me, a strange glint in her eye. It took me a moment to register it as happiness. "It's good to have you back, Bella." She said softly. "It's been too long."

I looked down, my hair falling in to my face. "Far, far too long." I whispered.

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	20. Hunting

**Long chapter this time!! Thanks for all the reviews- i would really love to make it to one hundred (hint, hint) ;) Also, there is a bit of hunting in here- obvs. So skip it if you don't like it, but it's really not that bad. :)**

_Chapter: Hunting_

_Bella's Point of View_

Edward led me in silence back over to the forest, his hand strangely warm in mine. It took me a moment to realise why his touch wasn't icy cold anymore. Because now, I was just as much stone as he was.

As soon as we were in the cover of the trees, we started to run. The forest was denser here than the way I had come in, but the tree branches slapping at our skin merely felt like gentle strokes.

I let go of Edward's hand, and started to run faster. With my new born strength, I over took him easily, and heard him chuckle behind me. The noise sent a thrill through me as I realised just how much I had missed his quiet little laugh.

Abruptly, I skidded to a halt, wanting to be near him again. He was at my side in two strides, his smile dazzling.

"Ready to hunt?"

The fire in my throat roared in response, clawing its way upwards. Automatically, I raised my hand to my throat, wincing.

"It gets easier." Edward whispered, suddenly right next to me. I looked at him, at his soft eyes, and wondered what he was talking about. Hunting or…us? I shook my head quickly. There _was _no us. Not anymore. He had moved on, just like I must have always known in the back of my mind that he would. Carlisle must have forced him into going hunting with me. I was probably boring him, with all my silly gazes…

I tore my eyes away from his, and stepped away from him, closing my eyes as I tasted the world with my tongue.

I could smell _everything. _Even the sweet blood of Lyra up at the house. My mouth started watering at just how wonderful her blood smelled, but then I forced myself to focus.

There was something a couple of miles away. A deer, possibly? Two- no, three, were drinking water a mile further out. I decided to go for them, wanting the run.

Without stopping to tell Edward my plans, I turned and started running again, letting my nose lead me. I heard the whisper of Edward's footsteps behind me, following me like a shadow. _Like he used to._

I reached the edge of the clearing where the deer's were, and froze behind a bush, my breathing stopping. My eyes zeroed in on the one nearest to me, just a few meters. He had his back to me and was drinking deeply, completely absorbed in what he was doing.

I crouched in a hunting stance instinctively, then hesitated, not sure what to do next. Watching him hunt was one of the few things that Edward had refused to show me when we were still together.

"Want to watch me first?" Edward whispered in my ear, his voice low.

I frowned. I didn't like having to rely him again, but it didn't look as if I had another choice.

I nodded curtly, and a second later, Edward brushed past me. He pounced, throwing himself through the air, his arms outstretched as he caught on of the deer around the waist. It wriggled and thrashed desperately, but its feeble attempts to hold onto life were fruitless against Edward's iron strength.

_Our _iron strength.

Edward bent forward, his mouth trailing across the animal's throat almost as he was kissing it, but then, a few moments later, the deer's body relaxed. Edward drained its blood, then pushed the lifeless body off himself.

"Now you." He smiled pleasantly.

While he had been killing one deer, the others had scattered in alarm, but they hadn't even gone a mile. They would be easy enough to catch.

I sprang through the trees, catching up with the deer I had seen drinking in moments. He had lost the rest of the pack in the panic, and had slowed down, looking warily around him.

He never even saw me coming.

A few minuets later, I pushed the empty carcass off me, then straightened up. I had never changed out of the clothes that I had been running in before, so they'd already been dirty and messy, and now they were covered in splatters of blood.

I dragged my sleeve across my mouth, and looked down at myself critically. I could have done _that _better.

Edward's whisper came from behind me.

"Silver's going to be fine."

I glanced up as he moved towards me again, slower this time, his eyes wary. He slipped his fingers through mine, linking us together, then raised our clasped hands to stroke my cheek with the back of his hand, then leant hesitantly towards me.

My feet were glued to the ground. All of my common sense was screaming at me to get moving, get running- but I couldn't. I couldn't move one inch.

And then time had run out, and Edward's lips were strangely soft on mine. This was so different to the kisses I remembered. They had all been careful, controlled, and the lips that I remembered and loved were cold and hard against my skin.

This just wasn't the same.

Abruptly, I stepped away from him, ripping my hand away from his so I could cross my arms across my chest.

"Bella?" He said, confused, as hurt flickered across his face.

"What did you call my baby, Edward?" I asked coldly.

Edward was confused. He frowned, rubbing a hand over his face. "Silver." He said, bemused.

"Why?"

He was confused by my question. His eyebrows pulled together, then he shrugged. "Because that's what you call her. Is that not okay?"

I impatiently pushed my hair off my face as I took a sharp step away from him. "No, Edward. I have never called Lyra 'Silver' in front of you."

There was a beat of absolute silence. Edward's expression went from confusion to realisation, to horror, to… was it _embarrassment?_

My hands were suddenly shaking and it was all I wanted to do to run from the forest- but I forced myself to stay still. "How did you know that, Edward?" I asked quietly.

"I…I…" Edward stuttered. His hand raked almost sub consciously through his tangled bronze hair.

And that was when something occurred to me.

"No…" I breathed, my hand jumping to my mouth as my head started to shake back and forth in denial. "Oh no. No. You didn't…you haven't been…Edward Cullen, please tell me you haven't been _spying _on me?" My voice broke on his name, then suddenly raised an octave.

I waited for Edward to look up, to shake his head- to tell me that I had got it wrong. I gave him five seconds- then I turned on my heel, and started to walk away.

"Bella!" Edward groaned, and leapt forward to grab my arm.

I span away from him at once, his touch burning. "Get _away_!" I near screamed, and he fell back at once.

"Please, Bella. Please listen! I did it for you, I swear. I was just watching, making sure you were…"

I slammed my hands over my ears, shutting out the rest of his stupid explanation. How _could _he? How could he have been that near to me for seven years, watched me cry myself to sleep for _him _almost every single night- and never show himself? Was he _sick _or something?

"Please, Bella." He begged, grabbing my hands and trying to force them away from my ears. I shoved him hard in the chest, so that he stumbled backwards, tripped over a root, and went flying to the ground.

I took advantage of his sudden dizziness, and stated to run, tearing back through the forest, but he was on his feet and had caught up with me in an instant.

"I just wanted to make sure you were happy!" He cried. I stopped abruptly and turned slowly to face him. He skidded to a halt too, and was in front of me in two strides.

"Happy?" I hissed the word. "_Happy? _And did I look happy to you, Edward?"

"You were getting married. Having a baby." He said, and his tone was almost bitter. "You seemed okay."

"Then why didn't you _go? _Why did you stick around?" I demanded.

"Because there were moments, times- when it seemed like all the rest of it was an act! Like before the wedding, when you told your mother you weren't sure about getting married!"

The expression on my face must have informed him he'd said the wrong thing.

"I mean…" He began, backtracking, but I cut him off with a yell.

"You were THERE for that? You were right _there? _But after mum went inside, I was sat on my own! I sat on the porch steps for hours, waiting for something, someone to tell me I was doing the wrong thing! Why didn't you show yourself?"

"I…I…I wasn't sure if you wanted me to…" Edward said quietly, looking down.

I growled in frustration, and shoved him again. "How could you _not _be sure?" I shrieked. "How could you not be absolutely definite that I needed you, after all the times I told you I loved you, after I risked death at the hands of sadistic vampire because of _you! _After, when you left, I tried to follow you through the woods! Did you hear me calling you then, Edward? Did you hear me shouting your name, and feel pleased at the amount of desperation behind my words?"

"No, Bella…" Edward gasped, sounding horrified.

"I trusted you _so much_!" I screamed. "I trusted you with everything, gave you every little piece of my heart! I gave up all my friends to sit with you at lunch, I risked an argument with my father by letting you in every night! And how did you pay me back for that? By leaving me heart broken. In just a few words, Edward- you ripped my world apart. You tore it, piece by piece and scattered it so far away that for months, years, I had no sense of what was important! All I saw in every blink, in every heart beat- was _your _face."

"I never meant to hurt you…" Edward begged, his eyes wild as he tried to step towards me, but I pushed him away, cowering from his touch.

"Never meant to hurt me?" I gasped. "How did you think I_ wouldn't_ hurt? How did you think I felt, knowing that I had to spend the next seventy odd years of my life alone, because I knew that I would never be able to love anyone the way I loved you?"

"But you married the dog!" Edward said in confusion.

"Do _not _call him that!" I spat, advancing towards him in my sudden anger. "Yes, I married him, but did you really think that was out of love? Can you really look me in the eye, you, who knows my face better than I know it myself- and tell me that you thought I was happy? That I really _loved _him?" I spat out the word through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry, Bella…" Edward whispered in a broken voice, but all the anger, all the hate that I had been storing up for the last seven years was suddenly coming out in a dirty, bitter mess- and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Sorry for what?" I hissed. "Sorry for leaving me? Sorry for running my life? Well don't be. I always knew it , it was always so clear, that we were never meant to be together. I mean, look at you!" I paused for a moment as I held out one hand as if I was welcoming him in front of an audience, and then my hand slowly dropped back to my side. "And then look at me."

"Bella…what are you…?" Edward began slowly, but I cut him off again.

"No, Edward, no! Just don't say anything more, okay? I was just starting to get over you. I was just starting to rebuild my life when you came back. Me and Lyra…we were going to be okay, you know? We were going to get through all this stupid stuff with Jake _together. _And, hey, who knows- maybe it wouldn't have even been that hard, seeing Jake with Leah every day, living the rest of my life alone- because at least that way I would have been able to bury my memories of you. Over time, they would have faded, and by the time I died- you would just be a distant memory."

He winced at me talking of my death, and at once I pounced on his reaction.

"See?" I insisted. "See that? Why do you do that? Why, every time that I see you, do you smile at me and look as if you're actually pleased that I'm alive, as if you give a damn! Because you shouldn't, Edward! You lost the right to care about me seven years ago, on the edge of the forest."

"I never stopped caring, Bella." Edward said quietly, but I childishly shoved my fingers in my ears again.

"No, don't mess with me Edward. Don't start up all this rubbish, pull back up all my feelings again, because that's just too hard. Don't you see? This is all just some sort of game to you, something to keep you occupied, stringing me along because you _know _that no matter what you do and no matter what you say, I will never _stop _following you! Because even after all this time, after all that's happened- I still can't forget you! I still can't go on a date with another man because every time I look at him, every time he kisses me- it feels like I'm betraying you!" I laughed bitterly. "_Me _betraying _you! _The most ridiculous idea of all!" I pulled myself up straight again, forcing myself to look him straight in the eye. "Because it was you who betrayed me, Edward. And no matter what I say, no matter what stupid excuses I make up for you in my head- that is a fact that will never change." And then I couldn't bear to look at him a singly second longer. I couldn't bear to stand here and stare into his perfect face and tortured golden eyes and know that he will never _ever _be mine.

So I turned on my heel and started to run.

It took him less than two seconds to catch me up, but I had already reached the edge of the forest. The house was in plain view as I slowed to a walk, my unnecessary breathing heavy.

I could see the strawberry blonde haired vampire stood at the window, watching and listening to us- and recognised her at once as Tanya. She raised a hand, and grinned smugly at me. Feeling my temper raise another notch, I turned my head sharply away from her just as Edward caught hold of my arm again.

"Calm down, Bella!" He gasped.

I ripped my arm away from his grasp, my eyes turning black with anger, my breathing suddenly coming in sudden gasps which I sucked in through my teeth. "Calm _down?_" I repeated in a dangerously low voice.

"Bella?" Edward said worriedly as his hand reached out to touch me again.

And that was when I attacked him.

I launched myself towards him- that vile, stupid, arrogant little _monster, _my hands locking around his throat as he tried fruitlessly to fight me off. And I was glad that, for once, _I _was the one who was in control. I was stronger than him for the first time in my life.

And then suddenly, strong arms were grabbing me and hauling me back, pinning my own arms behind my back. I recognised the rippling muscles at once, and the low insistent voice. Emmet.

"Get _off _me!" I screamed, fighting against him. I started to slip away easily, but then another pair of arms locked me in place.

"Calm down, now Bella." Said a soft voice in my ear, followed by a tinkling laugh.

"Get lost, Tanya." Emmet said roughly.

"Just doing my bit to help my Eddie." Tanya said silkily. _Her _Edward? HER Edward? My blood boiled again, and I tried to launch myself once more at Edward, my teeth snapping, but he was suddenly distracted. His dark, furious eyes were trained on Tanya as a growl escaped through his lips.

"Stop Edward!" Jasper's voice cut through the air, and less than a second later, he was pulling Edward back, him on one arm, Alice on the other.

"Come on, Bella. Let's get you inside." Emmet said, patting my arm awkwardly, and starting to drag me away.

"No!" Edward cried, suddenly sounding terrified. "No, Bella- please! Please, you have to listen, you have to understand!"

I pulled myself free from Emmet and Tanya with a sharp jerk, then turned to look back at Edward with narrowed eyes. He was bent over as he tried to free himself from Jasper and Alice, his eyes wild, his bronze hair falling into his face.

"No, Edward." I said quietly. "I don't have to do anything anymore." And then I turned and started to walk away, shaking Emmet off as he tried to grab my arm again.

"Bella please listen!" Edward begged again, his voice breaking. If he were able to, he would have been sobbing. "Bella, you have to listen! You _have _to! Bella! For Christ's sake- I LOVE YOU!"

I stopped suddenly, and then turned back to look at him, my eyes wide.

"What?" I whispered.

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	21. Edward's Decision

**THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!! You guys seriously make my day, and i actually got past one hundred!!!! YEY!!! This chapter is for my vair vair cool buddie Phoebe cuz i didn't go to wind band.....ILY PHOEBE!!! **

_Bella's Point of View_

"What?" I whispered.

Everyone had fallen silent, and I could suddenly no longer feel Emmett's strong arms on mine. I stepped towards Edward, and, mimicking me, he yanked his own arms free from Alice and Jasper, and took a step towards me.

"Bella," He said earnestly. "You have to understand! I never stopped loving you, I never left because I got too tired of you, or whatever other ridiculous concept you've got into your head. I left because I could see the dangers that living in my world were going to bring you! You had come so close to death before, after just months of knowing me- and then when Jasper tried to attack you- I knew that I had to go. If _Jasper, _my own _brother _could nearly hurt you like that, then what would happen if we ran into real trouble again, like James, but that time I wasn't able to save you?" He swallowed hard. "I wouldn't be able to stand that, Bella. You deserved life, even if it meant that the rest of my own existence would fail to mean a thing."

"Life?" I whispered in a broken voice. "This was just about…life?" It seemed such a stupid thing to loose him over. Edward, who made my life worth living, had left just so that I could live _longer? _I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"I tried to let go." Edward whispered. "I tried to stay away, but it was too hard. And that's why I came back, that's why, even when I knew that I should, I couldn't bear to be away from you. That's why now, when I'm standing opposite you, I want so hard for you to believe me, because I truly love you. You made my life worth living."

"But you left." I whispered, and Edward exhaled impatiently through his nose. His golden eyes were fixed on me as he stepped forward, but it was different to how it was when I was seventeen. Back then, I would have forgiven him by now. I would have bowed over to the instinct that was telling me to run straight into his arms.

I was stronger now, wiser. I had been through too much, felt too much, to just let myself be caught up in his glorious eyes and beautiful words.

Because as beautiful as his words were- they couldn't be true. They _couldn't _be. For so long now, years and years, I had been telling myself that Edward didn't love me. That there was no point in missing him, because even if he did come back to Forks, he would never come back to _me. _I had been telling myself that I was unwanted, and unlovable- and now here he was, the man who had ripped my life apart to start with, telling me that he had left _for me?_

"Why didn't you talk to me first? Why didn't you ask me what _I _felt? What _I _wanted?" I demanded.

Startled by my sudden anger again, Edward shrugged. "Because I knew that you would never let me go! You'd beg me to stay, and I would, because I would never be able to say no to you. But then, you'd get hurt one way or another, and then it would be all my fault!"

"So you just made the decision _for _me? For _us? _Edward, I'm not just some kind of possession! I have feelings as well, and no matter what you think, I _can _look after myself! You can't just so around, making choices for me like I have no brain or something! I always followed you around, always did whatever you said, and every time you looked at me, or kissed me- I was so blissfully happy because in the whole wide world, you were the only thing I wanted!" My voice broke, and Edward's eyes flashed to meet mine.

"That's what worried me." He muttered.

My voice was shaking, my hands trembling, and I knew that if I was human right then, and able to, I would have been sobbing. "But no matter what reason, no matter if you thought you were doing the right thing by me- you _left _Edward. You left me after telling me all those times that you loved me. You left me lying in my bed every night going over every conversation just wondering what on earth I could have done wrong enough to make you hate me so suddenly. Well I'm sick of it Edward. I'm sick of you coming and going as the mood takes you. If you really loved me, why didn't you tell me so at the hospital? Why didn't you show yourself all those times you were sat _spying _on me?" I shook my head, then span around to glare at Alice.

"And you!" I cried, then motioned around at all of the Cullen's stood around us. "_All _of you! You all left me too. You were like a family to me, more important than anything, and you all disappeared out of the blue as well. Maybe I could have got through Edward leaving, if you had all stayed…" I turned to look at Alice again with tortured eyes. She had her hand over her mouth, and her eyes were sad.

"We were trying to protect you, Bella." She whispered. "We were trying to make you happy."

I ran my hands angrily through my hair. "But I _was _happy! I had Edward, and I had you as a best friend and the rest of you as a family. What could have made me happier?"

A long silence me my question.

I looked back up at Edward, my voice acid. "Are you happy?" I asked him bluntly.

"No." He said, startled.

"Well that's just too bad, isn't it? I sure hoped that your little 'plan' worked out well for one of us. Because if not, then isn't that just a waste of seven years? Wasn't that just a waste of the life you were so keen to save for me?"

Edward ran his hands through his hair, then stepped towards me in one fluid movement.

"I left to save you, Bella, and it was a mistake, the most terrible, horrible mistake, and now I'd do anything to take it back- but I can't. So all I can do now is ask you to decide whether you think that there is still something there, still something worth fighting for." His golden eyes burned into mine, and I felt my knees going weak. I forced myself to blink. How could he even ask that? Of _course _there was something there. There always would be, always was. But I was still so _angry. _So bitter.

He was suddenly right in front of me, stood_ too_ close. His hand reached out and caught mine, and I realised with a jolt, that I actually _liked _him being a normal temperature.

"Yes…" I whispered in answer to his question, speaking from my heart though my head was screaming no.

"That's all I needed." He said, and then his lips were crushing down on mine again. It wasn't like the first time we had kissed, when I had been so over whelmed, or like the last time we had kissed, in the forest less than an hour ago. That time I had pushed him away so fast, too scared of feeling again.

This was…different. I found myself sub consciously pulling him closer, wrapping my arms tighter around him. Neither of us needed to breathe anymore, so, in theory, I realised that we could go on like this forever. The idea pleased me.

But then I remembered the rest of the Cullen's, and most likely all the Denali's were stood around us, probably wondering what the hell was going on. I started to pull away, but Edward wouldn't let any distance come between us as he rested his forehead against mine.

Both our breathing was heavy.

"But how do I know that I can trust you?" I whispered, so quietly that it was for Edward's ears only, even with all the super natural hearing around us.

I never got to hear his reply. At that moment, Alice suddenly seized up, her hands balling into fists.

Jasper was at her side in a moment, his hand stroking back her hair, uncurling her fingers. I had seen her look like this before, in the hotel room in Phoenix.

Alice was having a vision.

I glanced up at Edward, knowing that he would be seeing it second hand through her mind. Sure enough, his eyes were fixed on her, but then his face suddenly washed white, even paler than usual, and his arms tightened around me, pulling me back closer to him.

I raised a hand without thinking to his cheek, wanting to comfort him in whatever way I could, but before I could ask, Carlisle came dashing out the house.

He was at my side in a moment, and in his arms, he carried my baby. My Lyra.

I broke Edward's grasp easily as I reached eagerly for Lyra. She smiled when she saw me, and when I took her back in my arms, where she belonged, she snuggled down against me. I gingerly took her arm and stretched it out. Carlisle had cleaned her cut, stitched it again, and bandaged it.

I looked up at him. "Thank you." I whispered, trying to project the gratitude that I felt towards him into my words.

He nodded once at me to acknowledge my thanks, then glanced between Alice and Edward.

"What's going on?" Eleazer called out, sounding irritated.

"S…She's coming _here._" Edward's tone was bemused. For a moment, I was confused, then I remembered the sudden tightening of his arm around my waist, and understanding washed over me.

"Victoria." I whispered hoarsely.

"Is she _mad?_" Emmett demanded, voicing all our thoughts. "Is she actually utterly _bonkers?_"

"I believe Victoria is in quite good mental health, thank you." Eleazer reminded us stiffly.

Emmett snorted. "Then why would she come here?" He asked scornfully.

"She wants to see me." Edward answered quietly. I looked up, panicked, but his eyes refused to meet mine; he was staring resolutely at Alice. "She knows that she has no chance against _all _of us, but she thinks if it's just me…"

"And why the hell would you be willing to go to meet her?" Rosalie demanded.

Edward broke out of his trance, glancing down at his feet. "Because otherwise she'll find some other way to get to Bella and Lyra. I've got to end this."

At once, my arms tightened sub consciously around my baby. "No." I whispered, though I wasn't sure anymore what I was objecting to.

"But how….?" Jasper began, but Edward cut across him, suddenly shouting.

"I don't know, okay! I don't know how or when she thinks that she might get to Bella, but she will!" He shook his head more than once, as if trying to clear it. "You haven't seen the images that Alice has seen, you don't_ know_…" He shuddered involuntarily.

"But…you can't be planning to go and meet her!" I said, my voice louder than I expected in my panic.

"Of course I am." Edward said. "In fact, I'm _glad _she's coming."

"Glad?" I whispered.

"Yes- if she didn't, I'd only go looking for her. This just makes everything a whole lot quicker." Edward shrugged.

"What…how…._what?_" I hissed. "WHY? Why would you_ ever _go looking for her?"

"Because she hurt you." Edward said simply, his eyes trained on my face.

There was a very long pause, then Esme spoke.

"This is ridiculous! Carlisle, tell him he can't go!" She insisted, rushing over to grab Edward's arm.

Edward shrugged her off. "Carlisle," He said calmly, "Nothing you can say will change my mind, so please do not attempt to talk me out of this."

Carlisle surveyed Edward for a long time though sad eyes. I recognised the concentrated look on his face, and knew that he was speaking to Edward with his mind. I wondered vaguely what he was thinking.

Finally, Carlisle sighed, and brought his hand down on Edward's shoulder. "Be careful, son. Don't underestimate her."

"What?" Esme gasped. "You can't be seriously letting him _go…"_

"There is no danger." Carlisle said confidently. "If this is what Edward needs to rest his mind, then… so be it."

**So...what did you think? Leave a review and tell meeee! Also, next update may either take a while, or not be that good, because i have my year nine sats (yuck) coming up, and i have to start revising which means less time writing.... soz guys.......... BUT reviews will inspire me to write faster.... hint hint!! **


	22. Realisation

**Thanks for all the great reviews!!! LOVE YOU!! Also, I'm actually putting up another fanfic which I thought I'd try, so I would love you even MORE if you could give if a read and tell me what you think! xx**

I couldn't believe my ears. I couldn't believe he was actually going _through _with this. We were all back at the Denali's, all crammed back into the sitting room. Emmet and Jasper were sprawled across the sofa, and Carmen was watching them out of the corner of her eye, sniffing every time their feet brushed across the spotless white cushions.

I was stood beside Edward, Silver asleep in my arms, my expression furious.

"This is rudic…" I began again, but, as before, neither Edward nor Carlisle let me get a full sentence out.

"Oh for Gods _sake_!" I huffed, exhaling in an impatient noise through my mouth.

"I'll go with you, mate," Emmet offered lazily from the sofa. "If it'll put Bella's mind at rest."

I leapt at the opportunity eagerly, but Rosalie shook her head firmly.

"No way." She growled. "Edward can go and act like an idiot for all I care, but you're _not _going with him."

"There's no danger!" Emmet rolled his eyes.

"And that would never work anyway." Edward added. "It has to be _me, _and I have to be alone."

Carlisle nodded and clapped his hand on Edward's back. "Best get going then," He said, glancing at his watch. "It's getting late, and you don't want to fight her in the dark."

"Fight." Emmett scoffed, then raised his voice a little to call to Edward over the noise of the television that Jasper had flicked on. "See you later, man."

"Yeah…" Edward muttered, his eyes on me. "Don't look so worried." He begged me, his hand coming down to cover mine.

"I can't help it." I mumbled, my head down.

Edward's finger coaxed my face back up, and his leant in to whisper into my ear, his cool breath tickling my cheek. "I'm doing this to prove to you that you can trust me again."

My mouth opened noiselessly in horror, but he mistook my expression, and quickly moved away from me, dropping his hand.

"I _will _make you trust me again." He vowed. My eyes closed as I wished I had never spoken those words. There was a disturbance in the air around us, it blew a little harder into my face suddenly. I opened my eyes in alarm- but it was too late. He was already gone.

And if he didn't come back, then it was more my fault than I had ever dreamt.

My knees felt weak all of a sudden, though I knew that my newly strong legs would never give way. I swayed a little on the spot, until Esme's soft hands steadied me.

"Bella?"

"Stupid." I whispered.

"Yes," Esme agreed in a tight voice that was so far from her usual tone. "He is stupid. I could expect this from Emmett, but _Edward…_"

"Hey!" Emmett said, sounding hurt.

My head shook; she had misunderstood. "No." I whispered. "_Me. _Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Bella?" Esme repeated uncertainly.

"I thought I could live without him again." My voice was less than a whisper, but Esme was the only one paying me any attention now. The others eyes were glued on the television screens- all apart from the one they called Tanya, whos smug eyes were on me.

"I…I thought that…When he was here it was so easy to…I didn't realise that…" My sentences knocked into each other, none making any more sense than the one before it had to Esme, but, to me- it was blaringly obvious.

Before Edward had come back, I had been struggling with life. I had thought that I was winning the battle, thought that having a baby and marrying meant that I might have been just a _little _over him.

But I was wrong.

When he left again, at the hospital- no, I corrected myself- when I _made _him leave, I still didn't get it properly, still didn't _feel _it properly. My worry for my Lyra had over powered everything else, made my own pain seem insignificant to the scars that she bore.

And then, before I could start to miss him properly again, I had stumbled right back into his arms. And he had _welcomed _me. Against all the odds, against every thought that I'd had in all the years he was away- he had wanted me back. He had left loving me, left _for _me.

With him stood in front of me, safe and touchable once more, it was too hard, too over whelming to face the facts already, so I had got mad at him instead. I had shouted, yelled at him every thing except the one thing that I really needed to say- that I was still in love with him. That still, even after all the time that had passed, that even though he was still stuck in a seventeen year old body- I still loved him with every single ounce in my body, that just by standing _near _to me, he could set alive every single cell that I possessed.

Knowing how he had hurt me before, I hadn't wanted to love him again. I had wanted to scream and shout at him and make him feel just a tiny _quarter _of what I had been hiding for so long, but all that had been fake, a cover up so that I wouldn't have to face the confusion that came with the truth. That I loved him. I hadn't realised how much, thought that if I had decided I didn't forgive him, that I _could _live without him again. I had done it before, so why not do it again?

But I had grown so much in the last seven years. My heart had expanded so much, to let Lyra in, and I had even grown to love Jacob in his own way, in a sort of brotherly, family way- and now I was even more in love with Edward than I had been when I was seventeen.

But it could already be too late. Edward could already be facing his death right then, all because of some silly words that I spoke while clutching at reasons to hate him for.

I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't, _wouldn't, _loose him again.

I didn't care about Victoria anymore. We had a family of eight vampires now- how much harm could she do to us?

"Bella? Bella!" Esme called me back to the present, shaking my arm. "Bella- are you okay?"

"Um…yeah…" I murmured, my mind far away, with Edward. How far had be gone already? He could run very fast. Would he be with Victoria now? My stomach reacted to the thought, tying into a knot, and at once, my mind rejected the pain.

_Of course not. _I comforted myself. _He'll be just outside. _

I tore my arm out of Esme's, and threw myself towards the front door, tugging it open and falling out onto the porch.

My trained eyes searched the darkness outside, noticing every little piece of movement, every stir of the leaves that coated the floor.

"Edward?" I called uncertainly, then raised my voice. "Edward!"

"He won't be able to hear you. He's already too far gone." Said a smooth, almost smug voice behind me.

I jumped, and turned to find that Tanya had followed me noiselessly outside. She was watching me curiously, her eyes openly scrutinising my face.

I opened my mouth to reply, but she spoke over me.

"You're not what I expected."

I blinked, surprised. "Oh." What was I supposed to say to that?

She stepped towards me, her thin arms crossing across her chest. "The way they all talked about you, I expected you to be…" She trailed of, searching for the right word.

"Stunning?" I supplied weakly.

She tilted her head to the side, her lips pursing. "No, I always knew you were going to be pretty. But I thought you'd be…strong. I thought that after everything you'd been through; Edward leaving you, getting married to a man you didn't love, having a baby- that you'd _look _strong." She raised her eyebrows a little. "But you don't. You look little and frail…as if one puff of smoke will just blow you away." As she spoke, she walked right up to me, so her breath was blowing into my face.

"How did you know about all that?" I demanded, my fists clenching, though I knew I would never punch her. The last person I ever punched was Barry Newman, and that was when I was eight, and that was so slight I didn't even leave a bruise on him.

"Edward was talking about you before you arrived." Tanya shrugged my question away.

"What was he saying?" I asked before I could stop myself.

Tanya smiled mockingly. "You're not what I expected." She said again, ignoring my question. I was too wimpy to ask it again.

"I'm glad." I said instead. "That's good."

For a moment, her face went dark and I thought she was going to really hit me; my shoulders tensed and my fists clenched, but then, to my surprise, she burst out laughing.

"You know, you're really not so bad." She chuckled.

I looked at her warily. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Her face calmed, the laughter dying in her eyes. "That means let's hope you're a fast runner." And then she raised a single thin, snow white arm, and pointed at an almost invisible path through the forest.

For a moment, I was side tracked as I tried to work out whether Tanya had actually just said something nice to me, and then a terrible scream filled the air. It was ear splitting, deafening- and filled with a desperate pain.

My head span towards the direction of the noise, at the same time as the front door was flung open.

"Bella- wait. It might not be him…" Jasper had less than one second to try to reason with me. Just enough time for me to shove Tanya out the way, jump down off the porch, taking the four steps in one leap- and start to run in Edward's footsteps.

**Review! Review!!!!!!!!!! :D **


	23. Time Slows

**Sorry it's been such a long wait! I have my Sat exams in literally five days so i've been just revising non stop! This is kind of like the last chapter. There will be one more after this just to round things up, but this is the end of Edward and Bella's journey. Sob, sob. I'll give all last dedications on the next one, so watch out for that. Alsooooo author alert me! Cos I am gonna be doing other fanfictions, probebly all Twilight. Thanks! Phoebe- we are enlightened. :D :D :D **

In my life, there have been many occasions where I've had to run for my life. When James was chasing me, all the times that Victoria has tried to kill me…Each time, afterwards, I would sit down, and I would be shaking and crying- but while I was actually _running, _I'd never really feel that afraid.

I've never been scared of death. Sometimes, right after Edward left me, I used to envy the dead- because at least they were peaceful. After all, who suffers more when a mother dies in a car accident? The women who loses her life instantly, with no pain, no last thoughts- or the children left behind? Left in a world so cruel and dark that no child should have to go it alone?

It's funny that I should count running after Edward as running for my own life. I suppose in a way, I'm right to say that. Edward and I had always been joined in ways so tangled, so messed up, so _perfect- _that his life was my life, and my life was his life.

It was just the way we were.

Another scream filled the air. It was too short for me to be able to work out who it belonged rose up my throat like vomit, and I pushed myself harder.

_I'm coming, Edward. I'm coming! _I chanted almost feverously inside my head, wishing more than anything, for the first time, that he could read my thoughts.

My feet pounded against the forest floor as Tanya's last words to me echoed in my head.

_I hope you can run fast. _

I could see the clearing up ahead. A tiny little light, too far away for human eyes to see. My heart leapt into my throat as I raced onwards. I dodged the huge trees easily, darting and weaving.

_I hope you can run fast._

There was another grinding sound, the horrifying, blood chilling sound of rock hard teeth tearing though metal.

_I hope you can run fast._

"Edward!" I screamed. "EDWARD!"

I could hear footsteps behind me, and knew that the rest of the Cullen's weren't far behind, but I pushed them to the back of my mind. Edward was all the mattered now.

A hundred thoughts, memories, images from the past were flashing in front of my eyes. _The first time I ever saw him as he walked into the lunch canteen with the rest of the Cullen's. "Who's he?" I'd asked Jessica. The feel of his ice cold lips crushing down on mine for the first time as we'd stood on the edge of the forest…_

"EDWARD!"

_His arms tight around me, waking up every day to see his face. His glorious, smouldering eyes…him, broken and defeated as I shouted at him… _I couldn't leave it like that.

The clearing was less than five meters away. I could hear every single one of my desperate gasps as I needlessly dragged in oxygen. Four meters. Three meters.

"Edward…" I whispered again.

Two meters, one meter…

The ferns and leaves of the last tree were hanging down, blocking my sight of the field. I impatiently pushed them aside, my strength unwittingly snapping off entire branches.

And then my sight was clear.

I could see him. He was crouched on the ground, his back to me, his shoulders hunched.

My heart lurched, and I stumbled forwards, my arms outstretched. Was he okay? Why wasn't he getting up?

I moved slowly forwards. I glanced downwards, then gasped, as I found a broken, still white arm laying by my feet.

"_Oh_!" I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth as my eyes flickered around the rest of the clearing.

There were body pieces everywhere. Scattered from just by my feet, right over to where Edward was still sat motionless. For a moment, all I could think was _Victoira is dead! She's gone! _and then my attention was brought suddenly back to him as I tore my eyes away from the twitching arm three meters away.

"Edward…" I whispered again, and this time he turned. His head shot up, his surprised eyes searching for me. "_Edward!" _

Without thinking, without trying to hold myself back, I threw myself across the clearing. He was on his feet in one second and caught me in another, both his arms locking around my waist, holding me to him with a force that would have crushed me if I had still been human.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded, almost angrily, but his lips told a different story as they worked their way across my face.

"I thought…I was so…I was _scared." _I whispered in a broken voice. Edward groaned and pulled me closer to him, his hand stroking my hair.

"I'm so sorry." He said, and his voice was husky with emotion. "I'm so, so sorry. Sorry what being what I am. Sorry for leaving you. Sorry for thinking that I know what's best for everyone. For _us._"

I shook my head, trying to stop him words; I no longer needed to hear them, but his hands caught my face and held it still, his eyes burning into mine.

Behind me, I could hear the rest of the Cullen's slowing, realising that Edward was safe. I realised they wanted to give us some privacy.

"The biggest mistake I ever made was to leave you, Bella." He said. I felt dizzy. This was the moment I had been dreaming of for so long, for so many years. And now it was here- it was perfect.

"I missed you every day. If felt like there was no point in going about my daily life, enrolling in yet another school- because what was the point of life without you? You, who made my existence worth all those long, lonely years before you were even born.

When I was… leaving you, it felt like I was going to tear myself apart in the process, like I could never be whole again without you."

I nodded. I knew the feeling.

"And I _couldn't _be whole. Not when you still had my heart." A smile traced his lips briefly as his thumb stroked against my cheek. "You see, Bella- it _always _belonged to you." Then his smile faltered, and he began backtracking quickly. "I mean, I don't want you to feel that you owe me anything. If it's been too long, if I'm too late- then just tell me. Please, don't spare my feelings. All I want is for you to be happy. Forget about me…" His bit his lip, then glanced up. I didn't need to look. I could hear the rest of the Cullen's waiting at the edge of the forest. I thought of them, and for the first time in seven years, their name, the memory of their faces brought with it a feeling of fondness that I had almost forgotten in the years they were away.

"So." Edward whispered. "Where do we go from here?"

I pursed my lips for a moment, pretending to deliberate, then put my arms around his neck, and pulled his face down to meet mine.

"I think I know." I replied, then pressed my lips softly to his.

I heard Alice sigh softly behind me. I would find time to talk to her later. Over time, our friendship would rekindle. I knew it wouldn't take long. Alice and I were meant to be friends, meant to be sisters, just like Edward and I were meant to be together. Forever and always. Some things just worked out that way.

Edward pulled me closer to him, and I smiled against his lips as my own ice cold heart finally started to melt.

_Time passes. It flies past in chunks, in fast sparks that light up the rest of your week, and long dragging months that seem to last for years. _

_Time passed when Edward was gone, and time still passed once he was back. _

_On the first of May, we brought our own home in Seattle, close enough to Forks that Silver could always see her father. _

_On the thirteenth of December, Edward and I got married. I did it purely for Alice. _

_On the sixth of November, we watched the sun go down as we stood, hand in hand. _

_Time passes. _

_Even for us. _

**So. What did you think? Worth the wait? Keep in mind, there's still one more chapter coming!! :) Check out my other fanfic Unavoidable Love. xxx**


	24. Silver

**Okay, last chapter! Sorry about the long wait, but I've had all my exams ect. Still got maths tommorow, but I thought this really couldn't wait any longer! This chapter is told from Silver/Lyra's point of view, and it's thirteen years later. In a second, I'll stop rambling, but first I'd just like to say lots of thank you's to elie, who was my first ever review, and has since been very faithful, even reviewing in different launguages to keep it interesting! :D Also obs to Phoebe, Lois and Sadie because they are just awesome. And then just to anyone else who has ever reviewed. You really made my day :D :D :D **

**Author alert me!!!!**

_Silver's Point of View _

I always loved the fire.

I loved the way the red hot sparks would fly off, glowing bright against the deep black of the night sky. I loved the feel of the burning heat, the perfect contrast to the cold wind coming off the sea.

"Silver?" I glanced up to see my Dad walking towards me. His hands were deep in the pockets of his jeans, his black hair scruffy, leaning defiantly in different directions- as normal. I sighed, and reached up to try to pat it back into place.

"I can cut it for you." I offered.

"No fear!" Dad laughed, backing away with his hands raised. "I saw what you did to that Barbie I got you!"

"Dad!" I flushed at the memory. "I was like eight then! I'm fourteen, now." I grinned, relishing the words.

Dad ran his hand absentmindedly through his hand. "Yeah. Fourteen! You've grown so fast. Well, happy birthday, honey."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"Did you enjoy your weekend?"

I nodded. I always did. Every year, on the two days before my birthday, I would come down to spend it with my Dad and his family. I saw him every other day anyway, but Dad always specially put those two days aside from his hectic life being a father to three year old twins Oliver and Tasha, nine year old Scarlett and Cassie, who was twelve, two years younger than me.

Not to mention his duties as the Alpha to the pack of werewolves that still roamed the forests of Forks.

My life had never been exactly normal. I'd been born with a werewolf for a father, and then, when I was only one, my mother and I had gone on the run from a sadistic vampire intent on killing me, therefore torturing my mother in the process. But then she got turned into a vampire herself and found Edward again, so it all turned out okay.

So on one side of the family, I have a set of vampires, and on the other one proper werewolf, and one former one. A pretty interesting life story, I'd say.

"Leah's coming down in a minuet, with the kids." Dad said, interrupting my internal monologue. I loved the way he said my step mother's name. With such love and tenderness burning in his eyes that was almost as strong as the bond that my mother and Edward seemed to share.

"Good." I nodded. "Are the pack coming?"

Dad rolled his eyes. "Course. Do you _really _think they'd miss the opportunity to embarrass you?"

I frowned. "I guess not."

Dad laughed at my expression, then continued, counting off people on his fingers. "Then there's the leeches," At this point, dad shot me a quick smile to show me he was kidding. He knew I hated it when he called them that. "Along with Bella and Edward, obviously. And isn't Carlisle bringing some friends as well?"

I shrugged, but before I could get any further into a reply, Leah appeared on the beach. She had Ollie balancing on one hip, her other hand held tight onto the back of Tasha's top. Cassie and Scarlett were holding what looked like a massive picnic casket between them. When Scarlett saw me, she raised her hand to wave, dropping her side of the casket. Cassie swore loudly in response, and Leah span around to glare at her.

I felt a broad grin working it's way across my face as they all stumbled closer, Cassie looking suitably abashed.

"Silver!" Leah beamed. "_Fourteen!_" Jake reached out his arms to catch her in an embrace, but she shoved Ollie at him, and ran to meet me.

"_I _wouldn't want all my family at _my _party." Cassie sniffed, looking around, but then she bent down and scooped up Tasha, tickling her round little tummy.

"Look who it is." I heard Dad mutter to Leah. I glanced up to follow the direction of their gaze. Rosalie was just entering the beach, her skirt to short, her heels too high.

I deliberately smirked at Dad, then waved my hand to wave at Rose, but then my attention was distracted as my mum and Edward strolled over.

Mum caught my eye, and her eyes lit up. Less than a second later, she had crossed the beach and had caught me up in her arms, squeezing me tightly.

"Oh Lyra! I missed you!"

"_Mum_!" I complained. "Why can't you just call me Silver, like everyone else?"

Dad leant past me to peck Mum on the cheek in welcome, then drew back, grinning. "I can remember I was asking you the very same thing the first time we ever had a party here."

I laughed, then raised my arms so that Edward could hug me hello. Beside me, Dad turned to grin at Rosalie. I groaned. I knew what was coming.

"Hey Rose! How do you drown a blonde?"

Rose glowered at him. "Shut it, mongrel."

Dad's grin broadened. "Glue a mirror to the bottom of a lake! D'you get it? Hey, I got another one!"

Mum shook her head. "Shut up, Jake." She smiled, ruffling his hair. "Just shut up."

"We were all thinking it." Edward muttered.

"When's the pack going to be here?" I demanded, squinting at the entrance to the back and bouncing on the balls of my feet.

Dad grinned. "Why? Is there a certain somebody you're looking forward to seeing?"

I flushed beetroot; an unfortunate factor I'd inherited from my mother.

"Possibly starting with an S and ending with a H?" Cassie joined in whole heartedly.

Scarlett's brow furrowed for a moment, then her expression cleared suddenly. "Oh! _Seth!" _

At that moment, right on cue, Seth strolled down onto the sand. My face went even redder. "Shut _up_!"

"You like _Seth_?" Scarlett squealed.

"Scar!" I hissed, grabbing her arm.

A moment later, Seth jogged up to where we were stood, wearing a white t-shirt and shorts; his usual outfit.

"Edward." He nodded in acknowledgment, then turned to grin at me. "Silver!" Then he hooked one arm around my neck and dragged me closer in a hug for a moment, then released me. Beaming, he handed me a present.

My face was burning. "Oh no. You didn't have to…"

Seth groaned. "No! She's turning into Bella!"

"You say that as if it's a bad thing!" Mum said reproachfully.

Seth pretended to consider it for a moment, then laughed. I giggled along too, a little too whole heartedly. I blushed again as he turned to look at me, a smile playing over his lips.

"Where's the rest of the pack?" Leah demanded, tugging Ollie away from Tasha as he tried to eat her hair.

"Coming later." Seth's eyes were still on me. I held his gaze until Dad rolled his eyes and pushed between us noisily.

"Can't we start on the food already?" He complained.

"You're worse than the kids!" Leah sighed, but she pulled open the casket and started laying over flowing plates of food out on a chequered blanket.

Everyone who wasn't a vampire, who just looked at the food with mild looks of disgust on their faces, rushed forwards in a surge. I got knocked closer to Seth. I didn't try to resist.

"Wanna get a plate?" He offered.

I nodded, and he turned away from me almost reluctantly to face the food. I ran my hands through my hair, grinned at my Mum who was watching me, then set off after him, catching onto his hand.

This wasn't the start. And it certainly wasn't the end. It was just life- and I was going to make the most of it.

Just you wait and see.

**And that's it! I probs won't start a story on Silver, but I wnated to give her a charactor anyway, because in the books you never really find out that much about Renesmee. REVIEW!! Come on, do it- last time ever!! :P And author alert me!! And check out Unavoidable Love, my other fan fic. Thanksssss! :D**


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